A Brand New Little Britain Episode

Here is my own 'Little Britain' episode with my favourite characters in brand new sketches.

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12. Dennis Waterman - Tom Bombadil

INT. JEREMY RENT'S OFFICE – DAY

Jeremy Rent is on the phone. It's raining outside.

NARRATOR (V/O):

In Troot, Jeremy Rent the agent is negotiating for his clients. I was an agent once and I was more secret than James Bond.

JEREMY:

So that's my client, David Tennant, to play the Riddler in the new Batman mini-series. How much are you offering? (Pause). Well, I'm sorry, but he won't work for less than £2,000. Goodbye!

He slams the phone down.

INTERCOM (V/O):

Dennis Waterman here to see you.

JEREMY:

(Presses the button) Excellent, send him in.

Dennis enters with a giant candy floss stick, with lots of candy on it.

DENNIS:

Hello! I got you some candy.

JEREMY:

That's very nice of you, Den.

Jeremy takes the giant candy floss and it now looks like normal size now. Dennis sits down.

DENNIS:

It was a tough journey through the rain!

JEREMY:

Well, this will be worth it, because I just had a call from Peter Jackson.

DENNIS:

Peter who? From the author, Rick Riordan?

JEREMY:

No! That's Percy Jackson. Peter Jackson, the director of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Heavenly Creatures and King Kong.

DENNIS:

From 1933?

JEREMY:

(Sighs). Anyway, he's making a spin off to The Lord of the Rings Trilogy called The Adventures

of Tom Bombadil and he wants you to play the title role.

DENNIS:

Oh, that's nice. So they want me to star in it, write da feem toon and sing da feem toon?

JEREMY:

Oh, no. They got their own music people, who created the wonderful music for the trilogy. They wouldn't want to get rid of them.

DENNIS:

I can do better than that!

Evil has taken over the land, do-do-do-do-do

There seems to be no good at hand, do-do-do-do-do

I've got a good idea, just you keep me near

I'd be so good for Middle-Earth!

JEREMY:

Oh, God!

The rain comes through the roof! Dennis falls off the chair and is floating away out of the room in a flood!
 

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