A loud booming sound woke me up.
I was quick to sit up and look around in a panic.
“Sorry” Benny mumbled.
“I don’t like your morning alarm” I groaned.
It sounded like a bomb going off, followed by an alarm.
“I have to wake up somehow” she stated.
I just sat there feeling tired.
“Shower?” she asked.
I just nodded as I got to my feet.
I pulled the bag out from under my bed before taking the old clothes out and putting new ones in.
“I like to go shopping on Friday” Benny stated.
“Shopping for what?” I asked oddly.
“I only buy stuff for the week, so I need to go shopping for anything I might need.”
“I can go with you” I said “Might as well get in the habit of going once a week.”
“Come on” she said holding up her key “To the showers.”
I followed behind her, and on the way I found myself staring at the large fence.
“We should see if Gus and Michael are out” I said.
She turned quickly to shake her head at me “Listen here new kid. During the day this school is on lock.”
I looked at her funny, but then I followed her finger as she pointed out security guards.
“They are constantly watching the fence during the day” she stated “Night time there is only one or two of them on duty.”
“What happens if we are at the gate?” I asked.
“You don’t want to find out, trust me.”
She turned back around, and before I turned I could see the two guys standing not to far from the other side of the gate.
I just walked into the bathroom with her and proceeded to take my shower.
“What do you think our uniforms will look like?” Benny asked “Pants and shirt? A dress? Skirt and shirt?”
I shrugged as the water poured down my body “I prefer pants.”
She just laughed.
The sound of talking filled the room, new people I didn’t recognize.
“It feels good to be back.”
“I know, I missed not having to sneak out.”
“I’m tired you guys.”
I stood there silently as I washed the conditioner out of my hair.
This was too much for me, it was early and I didn’t particularly enjoy people.
“Hey” I heard Benny say “Are you almost done in there?”
“Yeah” I said back.
“Sounds like we aren’t alone ladies” I heard a voice outside the showers.
“Benny has a girlfriend huh?” another one asked.
“I knew she was butch” said another.
“Wow” I said “I wasn’t aware I was in a lesbian relationship.”
“Neither did I” Benny said “Want to be my girlfriend?”
“Why not?” I shrugged.
“Gross.” I heard the girls say.
I couldn’t help but smile when I heard Benny laugh.
“I’m out” Benny said.
I shut the water off and pulled the towel around my waist before grabbing the rest of my things.
Once I walked out I was forced to walk passed the judgmental woman.
“Here I thought she’d pick a girl with bigger tits.”
“Don’t lesbians like girls that are more boyish?”
“That’s a stereotype” I stated.
“Shut your mouth” the taller blonde hissed “Flat chested bitch.”
“Dumb blonde cunt” I said before walking to the other room.
Benny grinned at me.
“Way to go champ” she said “Your life here is really going to suck.”
“What?” I asked “How?”
“That girl” she pointed “Her grandmother started this school.”
Fuck my life.
“Don’t worry” she smiled “We’ll be fucked together.”
I laughed as I walked into the small changing room so I could dress myself.
I wanted pants so that I didn’t have to show my legs.
I found myself gazing at my reflection in the tall mirror.
My short hair made a V shape from the back of my neck, the dark red and light orange making a good combination. Freckles trailed across my body, my chest, my back, there weren’t that many on my arms, but my face definitely had the most.
“Are you ready?” Benny asked.
“Almost” I said.
I walked out once my shirt was buttoned and I was ready to go.
We grabbed our stuff and headed out, now I could clearly see more girls walking around.
They were pretty, well dressed, primped, and just looked plain sophisticated.
Looks can be deceiving, that much I knew.
We walked back to our room and put everything back.
“And when do we do laundry?” I asked.
She shrugged “I try to do it on Sunday, but I usually just do it whenever.”
I nodded slowly.
Her phone went off and she was quick to answer it.
I watched her smile once the person spoke.
“Good morning to you too” she grinned.
A smile that wide and genuinely happy, it had to be Gus on the other line.
Her smile was quickly replaced by a frown “You have to be kidding me.”
I looked at her questioningly.
“Some of the uniforms are already here.”
We were just sized yesterday.
She looked down at her phone for a minute before shaking her head “Not ours, the girls who were sized before.”
I nodded feeling relieved.
“Any plans today?” she asked him.
There was a short pause.
“What’s Michael doing?” she asked before scowling “Of course he is.”
I just sat there confused.
“Alright, maybe next weekend then” she said.
What about during the week?
“I love you too” she said “Later.”
She hung up the phone and I looked at her confused.
“What?” she asked me once she saw my expression.
“Why do you have to wait until the weekend?”
“The school rules” she looked at me as if I was supposed to already know “We aren’t allowed to leave campus on a school night unless we have a good excuse.”
I nodded slowly “Of course not, a proper lady would always stay close to her studies.”
“That’s what I’m talking about” she laughed.
“What are the guys up to?” I asked.
“Gus is going to stay in today, Michael is going out again.”
“Of course he is.” I said.
She smirked “That’s what I said.”
I knew it was, that’s why I said it.
She let out a low sigh “Should I feel this lazy?”
I felt the same way, so I didn’t blame her.
“Do we have anything to do today?” I asked her.
“We could always go do some laundry” she pointed out.
I sat up “Let’s go do some laundry.”
She sat up and smiled “You’re good for me; I would never do it unless I was nagged.”
“You’re good for me too” I admitted.
It was the truth; if I hadn’t met her here I could be feeling completely different. I was glad I met her. I was glad I met all of three of them.
She grabbed a basket and I grabbed my dirty clothes and stuffed them into a bag.
“We can wash ours together if you want” she said.
I nodded; I didn’t have very many dirty clothes anyway.
We walked by the black gate again and I could see Gus in the distance Michael laid on the grass next to him.
“Look who it is” I pointed.
She turned and I watched as she smiled.
“I thought he was going out” she stated.
“Maybe he was busy?” I asked.
She just laughed “Definitely looks busy to me.”
We reached the gym and inside there were several machines, two were available.
She dumped her clothes into a machine and took my bag from me as she dumped the contents into the same machine.
She started it and then marked an alarm on her phone “We should come back in an hour.”
I nodded before taking the basket and carrying it.
A loud sound came from Benny.
I looked at her as she answered her phone.
“Yeah?” she asked.
I just kept in pace with her as she walked.
“Yeah” she said “I saw you too.”
I liked the two of them together, they were cute.
“Our room doesn’t look any different” she stated “Ren didn’t bring any decorations.”
I felt myself frown.
“Okay” she said to him before turning to me “Gus wants to Skype.”
I shrugged “Doesn’t matter to me.”
“Alright” she said “Let us get back to our room and I’ll call you.”
She hung up the phone.
“Does this normally happen?” I asked.
She shrugged “We don’t get to see each other very much, so we do what we can.”
It was sweet; he gave off this tough guy image that would be more believable if I hadn’t seen him around Benny.
“So Ren” Benny said.
“Yeah?” I asked.
She got her key out to open our door.
“Are you a virgin?”
My face instantly went red “What the hell kind of question is that?”
“I’ll take that as a yes” she grinned.
“So what?” I demanded “Boys don’t like me.”
At least the boys back home didn’t like me. The ones that knew me.
She looked at me confused “I don’t see anything wrong with you.”
I looked to the side “You don’t know me very well.”
She shrugged “I have time to know you.”
I felt somehow relived to hear her answer.
“What about you?” I asked her.
“Not anymore” she said.
“Gus?” I asked.
“Duh” she giggled “We’ve been together for a long time, it had to happen eventually.”
“Romantic” I said.
“It really was” she smiled at me “There are boys and then there are men, he is definitely a man.”
I made a face “What exactly are you referring to?” I asked her.
She smiled at me “Obviously I mean him in general, and his dick of course.”
I fought the urge to laugh, she was too much.
It was cute though, the love they had for each other. I didn’t know the two of them very well, but I could feel it.
She looked at herself in the mirror and fixed her hair “How do I look?”
“For what?” I asked.
She pointed to the computer “I’m about to call them.”
“You look great” I smiled “No video sex, virgin ears over here.”
She grinned at me before doing stuff on her computer.
“You better get over here Ren” she hissed.
“Why me?” I whined.
“Hey Benny!” I heard a very excited Gus.
“Put some clothes on Ren” Benny hissed “You can’t walk around naked! I’ve got the webcam on!”
It went silent before she laughed.
I of course was red in the face, not angry no, just shy.
I peeked into the camera “Hi.”
Gus smiled wide “Morning Ren.”
The room behind them was dark; the walls were a darker gray color.
“Is the King in?” Benny asked.
Gus turned around “Michael!”
“What?” we could hear him hiss.
He walked out and his shirt was off.
Benny was quick to cover my face.
“Put some clothes on Michael” Benny hissed.
“Why are you covering her face?” Gus asked.
“She’s a virgin!” she hissed.
I forced her hands away and I regretted it instantly.
“That’s an ass” I pointed.
I was quick to turn around. Were those scars on his back?
“Put some clothes on Michael” Gus said.
I heard a noise of protest.
“What happened to your lady plans?” Benny asked.
“Blew her off” Michael stated.
“He’s dressed” Benny said low.
I turned around to see him fully dressed now.
“Hi” I said awkwardly.
“She doesn’t seem like a virgin” Gus stated.
“Guys don’t like me” I whined.
Gus looked at me funny “I don’t see anything wrong with you.”
“That’s what I said” Benny shrugged.
“I see why” Michael stated.
How was I as offended as I was?
“Look how much clothing she is wearing” he pointed at me “This isn’t he middle ages, guys these days like to see a little more skin than your hands, ankles, and face.”
I had to turn away.
“Maybe she likes to bundle up?” Benny hissed.
“Or she’s a cutter” Michael stated.
I felt my heart slam against my chest.
Before I realized what I was doing I was standing next to my bed out of the view of the camera.
“He didn’t mean it Ren” Gus said.
“I meant it” he said “Clearly I’m right.”
I got in front of the screen again to glare at the blond male “So what if I do?”
He didn’t seem phased “You aren’t the only one with scars idiot.”
“Don’t call me names asshole” I hissed.
“You can add that to your list of reasons” he stated.
“It’s better than me fucking everything with a hole” I hissed.
Benny and Gus both went wide eyed.
“Did I say something I shouldn’t have?” I asked.
“You’re right” he stated “You be psychologically damaged, I’d like to see how you handle it.”
“Seriously” I said “You think I’m not?”
“You’re a goody two shoes, I doubt it.”
I stood up straight and shook my head “My family sent me away” I stated “They’re at the opposite end of the country.”
“So you can become a lady” he stated.
I laughed dryly “Right, so I can become a lady.”
They all looked at me.
You know nothing… I wanted to say it, but I couldn’t.
“Maybe we should cut this short” Benny suggested.
“But I want to talk to you” Gus said from the other end.
“You guys can talk” I said “I don’t mind.”
“You’re angry for a reason” I heard Michael say “Clearly that little notebook of yours holds more than you let on.”
Panic filled me and I made my way to the computer again “Go fuck yourself.”
Benny made a face as she looked at me “Don’t talk to him like that.”
“Shut up Benny” Michael stated “She’s exactly fucking like you.”
She looked at the screen before looking at me.
I felt bad that I upset her, but I have a temper, one of the many reasons why I’m really here.
“Ren” Michael said “Be free next weekend, we have plans to do something else.”
I stared wide eyed and confused at Benny, who returned my expression.
“Where are you going?” Gus asked him.
“My schedule suddenly became clear.”
“Ass” Benny said low.
“He’s right though” Gus said.
“About what?” she demanded.
“About Ren” he stated “You were the only one brave enough to talk to him like that, other than me.”
“I’m sorry Ren” she said.
“I deserve it” I said “I wasn’t completely honest of my reasons for being here.”
She looked at me “Seriously?”
“Any longer back home and I’d be at the neighboring school” I admitted.
“No way” she grinned.
“Seriously?” Gus asked.
“Not like I talk about it” I stated “No more talking about me.”
“I like her” Gus stated.
“I like her too” Benny stated.
“And I like you guys” I said.
“Awe guys” Benny said “We’re an orgy.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“If only Michael would go for Ren” Benny stated.
“Pardon?” I demanded.
She laughed “It would be a dream come true if he found a girl like you.”
“He doesn’t even bother fighting with most women” Gus said.
He doesn’t? I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.
A loud booming sound came from Benny and she looked down.
“I have to go change over the laundry” she said to Gus.
“I can do it” I said.
“You sure?” she asked me.
“Yeah” I stood by the door “Don’t lock me out.”
She nodded and I walked out and headed for the gym again.
I found myself walking somewhat close to the black gate.
Was I subconsciously looking for something?
Once I got to the gym I switched our clothes over and set an alarm on my phone.
I walked out and stared at the black gate again.
“Stop it, you look ridiculous.”
I heard a low voice and I turned around quickly. No one was there, not that I could see anyway.
I listened for another minute and I swear I heard a low moan.
This immediately got awkward.
“Come on” it was a female voice “Do something.”
“Go fuck yourself” a male voice hissed.
I headed in the direction I heard the voices.
There was a girl kneeling by the gate.
“Uh” I said awkwardly “Is everything alright?”
The girl was quick to turn and I recognized her, it was the headmaster’s granddaughter, the girl I called a cunt.
She was quick to glare at me “Can’t you see we’re in the middle of something?”
I just looked at her.
“We” the guy said “Were not in the middle of anything. You were annoying the hell out of me.”
I knew that pissy voice.
“Michael?” I asked.
The male stood up and he smirked “Well, isn’t this a surprise?”
The girl looked at him.
He just ignored her “Still mad?” he asked me.
She looked at me pissed.
“Can you give us a minute?” she asked.
“How about you go?” he suggested.
“I was here first” she hissed.
“Fuck off” he said.
Her jaw dropped before she stormed away.
“Are you normally this mean to girls?” I asked.
He shrugged before sitting down again “I’m certainly not nice to them.”
“Why?” I asked.
He looked at me for a minute “Are you still mad?”
I shook my head “I may have overreacted.”
He looked as if he was trying to study me.
“What?” I asked awkwardly.
“Let me see your wrists” he said.
I glared at him “No.”
“Ren” he said “Let me see.”
I knelt down as close to the gate as I could and he reached through the gate to grab my left arm and pulled my sleeve up before checking my other one.
He looked confused.
“What?” I asked “Were you expecting scars?”
He let go and I pulled my sleeves back down.
“I’ve gotten used to wearing layers” I stated.
I was about to say more, but quickly stopped myself.
“Say it” he said.
“Who said I was going to say anything?” I demanded.
“Your face” he said “What was the reason you overdressed?”
I looked to the side “I used to get beat up a lot” I admitted.
He didn’t say anything, he just looked away.
“It hurt less, but the extra clothes made it easier to cover the bruises.”
His gaze was returned to mine and he didn’t look away.
“Do you have a phone?”
I looked at him confused “Yeah, why?”
He held his hand out “Let me see it.”
I hesitated before pulling my phone out of my pocket and I pushed in my password before I handed it to him.
He was doing something on it and I was getting nervous.
It took a minute before he handed it back.
“I put my number in” he said before pulling his own phone out “And I sent myself yours.”
I stared down at his contact information “Would you get mad if I called you King?”
I only nodded in response.
“Maybe in the future” he said “Maybe then it will be okay.”
“Are there rules?” I asked.
He just looked at me.
“Is it just a nickname friend’s use for you?” I asked.
He shook his head “Only people who know me.”
I wanted to get technical and tell him I know him, but in reality I didn’t. I didn’t know what he had been through, I barely knew this boy.
“Earlier you said something” I stated.
“I said a few things” he stated “To which are you referring?”
“You said I wasn’t the only one with scars” I said “I thought I saw some on you.”
“You probably did” he shrugged.
I opened my mouth to speak again but the alarm on my phone went off. The clothes in the dryer were done.
“Someone calling?” he asked.
I shook my head “Alarm.”
We both sat there silently.
“What’s our plan for next weekend?” I asked.
“Another double date” he stated “I suggested we do something different this time.”
I nodded “I don’t think I can handle another chick flick” I admitted.
He nodded and we were back to silence.
“About the scars” I said.
He shook his head “I won’t talk to you about it.”
I felt a little rejected, but I nodded.
“So” I said awkwardly.
“What was the alarm for?” he asked.
“Pregnancy test” I shrugged.
He looked at me, almost like he was disgusted with me.
“It was a joke” I said “I was waiting for the laundry to be done.”
He took his phone out and typed something.
I just stared at him, I was far too curious about him.
“Is that what you meant by knowing you?” I asked.
“Yeah, it is.”
We both just stared at each other.
At first I got the feeling he didn’t trust people, but it makes me wonder what he is willing to do to get close to people.
“You’re wondering something” he stated “Just say it.”
“You don’t trust people” I said “And it makes me wonder, that girl from yesterday, does she get to call you King?”
He looked at me, but it was more like a glare.
“You said to say it.”
I felt my face getting red; I was embarrassed for bringing the girl up without even really thinking about it.
“No, she doesn’t.”
I nodded slowly “I’m sorry.”
“Ren?” I heard my name.
I turned around but no one was there.
“Benny” he said before sighing.
He looked irritated.
“I know you don’t know me very well” I stated “But I feel like you and I are similar.”
I looked back to see his expression.
“We’re not that similar” he stated.
“How would you know?” I asked “You don’t know me.”
“You find comfort by hurting yourself” he stated “I find comfort in a woman.”
I looked at him before getting to my feet “It doesn’t sound very different at all.”
He stared at the metal bars “Our pain is different.”
“Something our parents started” I said.
He looked startled by my words.
“Again” I began “I know I’m new here, and new to the group, but I know everyone does something for a reason.”
“That notebook” he said “What do you write in it?”
I forced a smile on my face “Well King” I said “I remind myself every day what I am here for, and why I need to stay.”
“How depressing” he didn’t acknowledge what I called him.
“I also wanted to thank you” I said.
“For what?” he seemed irritated.
“I know it wasn’t a real date” I smiled to myself “But I had a good time and I thought it was a good first date, so thank you.”
“You’ve never been on a date?” he asked me surprised.
I looked to the side to avoid his gaze.
I felt a jolt of fear run down my spine.
“What are you two doing?”
“Hey Benny” Michael greeted her.
I looked back at her and grinned “Hey Benny.”
She grinned back “What’s up?”
She sat next to me and left the hamper right behind her.
“Took you long enough” Michael said.
She turned to glare at him “Well I tend to lag when I get messages like that.”
I was confused and he just laughed. It was the first time I heard him laugh.
She showed me the text message from Michael and I understood why she would lag.
From: Michael – ‘Whore come get your laundry.’
“I was wondering how you knew I was doing laundry” she said.
We all sat there, I felt a little awkward and I could feel him looking at me.
“I thought you had plans” Benny stated.
I looked up to see him glaring at her.
“She’s too clingy; I didn’t feel like going out.”
“Does this one have a name?” Benny asked.
“It’s not relevant.”
“Is she anything like the last one?” she asked.
She was trying to piss him off, I wasn’t sure how I knew it, but I did and she was.
It was more awkward than it was before.
Benny looked my way.
I smiled instinctively at her.
“What were you guys talking about?” she asked.
“Nothing” he snapped.
He was clearly in a bad mood now. I just didn’t understand why.
“Ren?” she turned my way.
I was being called out, and I’m not really sure what to say.
I opened my mouth to say something but Michael interrupted me.
“Benny” he hissed.
She didn’t seem at all phased by his anger.
“Ren?” she asked again.
I looked back and forth between them “I plead the fifth.”
“Isn’t your husband in need of attention?” he asked her.
She shrugged “My husband knows I am a curious person.”
“Go away Benny.”
She just laughed “Alright, you guys can be alone again.”
I hate to say it, but she ruined the moment.
Benny stood up and grabbed the basket “I’ll put your stuff on your bed.”
I nodded “Thank you.”
“Later grumpy” she said to Michael before walking off.
It was silent for a minute.
“Do you want me to go?” I asked.
“I’m sorry about that” he said “She has no restraint when it comes to personal business.”
“She worries about you” I said “She loves you.”
“I know” he sighed “But she’s trying to get you and me together, or have you not noticed?”
I made a face “I guess I didn’t notice.”
He smiled “I should go.”
To be honest it was a beautiful one.
I nodded “So should I.”
Neither one of us moved.
“Are you nervous about your first day?” he asked.
I had to think about it “To be honest I don’t know.”
“I couldn’t deal with that many fucking cunts at once.”
“What’s your max?” I asked “Two or three?”
“One” he stated “That’s why I am mean to women.”
“We deserve it sometimes” I nodded “I know it.”
“They deserve it” he stated.
I wasn’t sure what he meant by that.
There was another moment of silence.
“What about mini golfing?” he asked.
I looked at him confused “What?”
“Mini golfing” he repeated.
“For next week?” I asked.
He shrugged “It was just an idea.”
I smiled wide “I’ve never been mini golfing before, it sounds fun.”
He nodded “I’ll run it by Gus and Benny.”
His phone went off and he looked irritated.
“What?” he demanded.
His pleasant demeanor instantly turned sour.
I heard a female voice and she was yelling.
“I’m not some fucking pet you can pick up whenever you feel lonely,” he growled.
I felt like I shouldn’t be here right now. I was over hearing something I had no business over hearing.
“You think I give a fuck?” he hissed.
I pulled my legs closer to me and I rested my chin on my knees.
He listened to her bitch about something; I could almost hear her clearly.
“And?” he asked “Don’t feel bad for me; your pity is fucking useless to me.”
She yelled something else.
“Do you cling to every guy that fucks you?” he asked “Or am I just the lucky one?”
She got louder.
“Are you done?” he asked calmly.
She was anything but calm.
He just hung up the phone.
“I can barely handle one.”
“I know what you mean” I mumbled.
“If you weren’t a virgin I’d recommend coming to you for comfort.”
I made a face.
“There are quite a few ways we can do it, if you want to keep your hymen intact.”
I wasn’t sure how to feel right now; I liked him yeah, but not enough to spread my legs for him.
“You should call her back” I said as I stood up “Either that or you could just go fuck yourself.”
“Real classy Ren.”
“I could say the same” I hissed “I guess this is what I get for thinking I could just be your friend.”
He looked up at me “You are just like every girl that talks to me. First you are hopeful and you try your hardest to get me to notice, and not too long after that just a glance from me and your legs are going to hate each other.”
The way he said it, I don’t know how, but I felt his words between my legs.
“You’re an idiot” I hissed “I don’t know why you’re suddenly acting like a jerk, but you need to hurry up and get over yourself.”
He stood up and walked away.
What an asshole! Why did I stay when he was on the phone? Clearly he is insecure about himself, but who the hell isn’t?
I felt the tears coming, but I shook my head and willed them away.
I had to be strong, I had to breathe, and I had to try and forget the end of our conversation. Somehow I knew he was going to try to talk to me later like nothing ever happened, especially in front of Benny.
I sighed before pulling my phone out of my pocket to check the time, but I was surprised when I saw the message he sent me, about a minute or two ago.
From: Michael – ‘Please forgive me.’
I stared at the message and I felt a lump in my throat. It was something my mother would always say, and for some reason I must enjoy the abuse, because I replied with one word.
To: Michael – ‘Always’
He might take it the wrong way, but I knew he was more like me than he wanted to admit. I didn’t know how I knew something traumatic happened to him, but I did.
I just need to move forward and get through my time here.
Part of me knew it wasn’t going to be easy, and I know he and I will be seeing a lot of each other.
I stared at the blank screen on my phone for a few minutes, maybe expecting a reply, or hoping for one. I didn’t know, but I put my phone back in my pocket before going to my room.
Benny has been nagging me.
Apparently Michael went back to his room in a bad mood and immediately Gus told Benny.
“I don’t know” I told her.
“Ren” she said “Don’t hold out on me.”
“I don’t know why he is in a bad mood” I stated “All I know is that his girlfriend called and they were fighting. I don’t know why, and I don’t know what happened.”
She stared at me.
“I don’t know Benny” I sighed.
“Alright” she said “I believe you.”
I nodded, it was over now!
“Shower?” she asked me.
I nodded feeling mentally and physically tired.
That was the last thing I did before going to sleep.
Monday, my first day of school here, was there when I woke up.