Today, Tara and Trevor are with our parents an hour away and they won't be back until tomorrow. I texted Justin for him to come over, but have still received no reply. So I lie here in my bed motionless. There's nothing to do and Jasmine is out with Andy, her boy crush. I don't feel like turning music on, so I sing to myself 'Fall.' Thats the one that I know I could sing. And I meant every word but from my point of view. I feel like a best friend of his already. I got my guitar out and started playing it along with my voice. I sat with my back faces towards the door, looking out of my window to see the beautiful outside. I hear the door creak open, but I pay it no mind because I'm so into singing that I just don'to care. I get to the end of the first chorus and I hear Justin start singing and I just play. "I can tell you're afraid of, what this might do. Because we got such an amazing friendship and that you don't want to lose. Well I don't wanna lose it either, but I don't think I can stay sitting around while you're hurting babe, so take my hand. Well did you know you're an angel, who forgot how to fly? Did you know that it breaks my heart every time I see you cry. Cause I know that a piece of yous gone every time he done wrong I'm the shoulder you're crying on, and I hope by the time that I'm done with this song that I figure out..."
We harmonized the chorus I sung higher he sang lower and our voices just sounded amazing together. We finished the song and he applauded me. "You did great! And you don't think you're good."
"I didn't say that I sounded horrible, I just don't sound outstanding." I giggled.
"So, the date for the video shoot is in two days. You ready?"
"Yeah, but what am I doing?"
"Thats what directors are for dear." I nodded. I didn't realize that I was wearing just his shirt, but he didnt fail to point it out. "That shirt looks better on you than it did on me." We laughed. I was mad crushing on him and he knows it. He sat on the bed and held out his arms for me to come over. I got up, put my guitar down, and walked over to him. He pulled me onto his lap. I curled up on him and he held me like a baby. My hair wasn't brushed so he grabbed the brush beside my bed and brushed it.
"You don't have to do that you know?"
"Yeah, but I wanted to." As soon as my hair is brushed he has me straddle on his lap. I must say that being sheltered from boys has made this pretty awkward for me. But he must know what he's doing because I sure don't. He looks at me, but I don't know what this look means. I've never seen it before.
"Why are you looking at me like that..." I asked scared to hear the answer. It's not like I don't know what sex is. They teach you in school, but he's my first kiss let alone whatever this is.
"Am I making you uncomfortable? If I am I'll stop." I saw the honesty in his eyes. But something wanted me to know what he was trying for. So I said 'no' and he kissed me. But this time it wasn't just lips. His tounge traced the outside of my lips. I opened my mouth and our tounges danced. He grabbed my butt and slowly stood up and put me on the bed hovering over top of me. He softly bit my bottom lip and tugged it. He then kissed on my neck. And I wasn't stopping him. His touch was addictive. Something that you couldn't just forget and walk away from. I grabbed his neck and I felt my eyes rolling to the back of my head. But he stopped. Our breath was heavy. "I don't want to make you go farther than what you're comfortable with. I'm not going to force myself on you. Is this what you want?" He was so serious. I knew what that look meant now, but was I ready? I didn't want it to stop, but did I want it to keep going? So many thoughts ran through my head. Was he going to get mad if I said no? Was he gonna be pushed away from me if I said I wasn't ready.. He could tell what I was thinking. He grabbed my hand with one of his, and used the other to lightly push my chin up to look at him. "I won't back away from you if you aren't ready. Only you know when that is, and it's something that shouldn't be messed with without your permission. Only you have the answer. I can't make that for you. I promise, I'll still be right here." I felt guilty, but I knew I wasn't ready for this yet.
"Can it wait..?" I was hesitant to ask, as I was still scared for him to up and leave. Its happened to Jasmine before, and I don't want to feel the heartbreak that she did.
"Of course it can." He smiled to reassure me that it was okay. But I still felt sorry. I looked down.
"Sorry.." He pulled me into his arms and hushed me.
"Don't be." He put a hand on the back of my head and my head was on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat. Something about that calmed me.
"Can we watch a movie?" I asked, he agreed and I put one on. It was a comedy. He laughed and it was so cute. I wanted him to be mine. No one else's. But I don't know if I even had a chance. My AC was on so it got cold. We covered up and he was the first to pass out. I watched him sleep, and it was the most adorable thing ever. I softly kissed his lip and lied down as sleep fell over me.
I woke up and he was gone. This is what I was afraid of. I ran all around the house looking for him, and he wasn't there..I sighed and went back up to my room and jumped under the blankets. Five minutes later I hear him come in and say "Hey Anna, are you awake?" I turned over and he brought us food. I could've cooked when I got up, but it was sweet of him to do so..
"Thank you." I said as he handed me a bag.
"Youre welcome." We ate our food in the room, and i threw away our trash. My parents wont get back until around dinner tomorrow, so maybe I can get him to spend the night. I hate being in this house alone.
"would you stay with me tonight?" I asked innocently.
"If you want I can. Let me call my boys and let them know."
"If you already have plans you don't have to."
"it's fine. We need time together too. I see them a lot." Is he wanting to get to know me? His boys knew him first. Its only fair that they don't lose him.
"But I don't want them to get mad at you.."
"They won't I swear. Its our time right now." He kissed my cheek and got up. He called his friends and let them know he was busy tonight. I could hear a chorus of 'ooooooohs' but he assured them it wasn't like that. He hung up and came back to the bed. We watched movies until we couldn't keep our eyes open anymore, and talked until there was nothing more to know about eachother. We had ourselves completely figured out. And we fell asleep with our legs intertwined and my face buried in his neck.
It got real pretty quickly. More to come in a little bit.XOXO.