6. Last straw
Ok! here is another chapter!
Those are the names that I grew up with. I tried and tried but I just can't do it.
Abusive is what's going on.
Self-harm is what I'm doing.
I do it every day. I'm used to the pain by now. About 3 years. Last year in high school. But still 17.
I'm alone moving from place to place. Foster parents, rich, snobby, stupid people. There everyday to "Chooses" their children instead of having one of their own. Everyday kids write to the orphanage saying that they love their home and new parents.
I've been in the orphanage my entire life. In and out is what I've been doing. They send me back saying that I'm defective. The first time I was sent back they hurt me before but said that I feel down the stairs. They pushed me because I was too quiet and it was their children. They never like me. Even the kids in the orphanage don't. They think I'm scary.
All of those 17 years of my life gone and wasted now. I've decided to try and make friends. First I start with the orphanage and the kids and see if I can make any friends.
I meet a couple of kids willing to talk to me but only managed to say "Hi" I just wave at them. The reason I'm too quiet is I refuse to speak because my very first foster parent hit me for being to loud because I was crying. I made a vow to never speak again or make a noise. The teachers got annoyed at my choice to speak but got over it. When they would ask somebody to answer the question I raise my hand. when they call on me I stand up go to the board and answer it there.
Today was the last straw. They hit me, chocked me, chained me, and whipped me. My new foster parents. They should e murders I've been too close to the brink of death that I just wanted to die. I would stare at them pleading with my eyes to kill me. They of course didn't know and walked away leaving my chained to the wall. I picked the lock and walked over to the knife I took a hold of it and started to cut my wrists. After that was done I decided to end it all. I take on last look in the mirror and say "Look mom dad I'm going up with you and plunge it in my chest and in my heart. I fall down with tears on my eyes and they came back in and looked at me. I stare at them and say "Thank you for pushing me to do this. I couldn't have done it without you" and let darkness fill my vision.