1. The binge
No, don't even let a thought slip into those fat ears of yours. Not, even, a thought. Then as soon as my hand grabs the bag of crackers, my mind goes into a trance. One sentence echoes in my head so faintly, but over. And over. And over again. "You can puke this up later." "you can puke this up later." "you can puke this up later." I can hear myself shouting in the other half of my brain.
" Stop it!. Your not acting skinny like you should be!" but I choose not to listen to the screeching sound of my self esteem, shriveling like a letter that once had meaning but got thrown away. Once I finish the bag my hands snatch a hot pocket out of the fridge and into the micro wave. As I wait I am drinking water, to make myself believe I am full before having more. I shove the hot pocket in and out of my mouth after I lathered it in ranch. I ate a tub of ice cream after..a TUB! I knew it was time, time to get rid of this putrid feeling of fatness and ugh.. ( feeling full).