Bulimia Anorexia Ana Mia


9. So all last week but now

so all last week I ate oatmeal and salad without purging, cuz for a certain amount of time, I tried to purge but it didn't work. But I had like 2 bowls of chili and 10 pieces of candy from Halloween sunday ht and couldn't purge it. I didn't eat for two days. I then had an entire sub, eating slowly with sips of diet coke in between. I somehow purged almost all of it tonight feeling success rise up in me. I remember as the first pile came up, me smiling in joy as I hear myself say "see, someday u can be thin" and " prove to everyone u can do this" I told my counselor on Monday November 4 th about my eating and purging problems. In order to gain my trust she swore to not tell my parents and to help me. All she said in my last oppointment was to at least eat one thing after school...which I failed miserably at.  My exercise has gotten more structured...

 -30 crunches

-30 heel touches

- 30 bicycle crunches

-30 reach throughs

-30 heel touches

-100 squat pulses

-30 second wall sit.

i do this everyday twice a day,plus more. Every day I also jog and run in gym class for like 30 minutes to an hour. I love the feeling of everyone seeing how sporty I have gotten....how much willpower I have. I snapped today at my friend today though. I am assuming its from not eating. I was annoyed by every single movement he did. I slapped him hard across his face for messing around and taking my phone. The funny part is, he likes me and gave me a hug because he knows about my problems and knows why I was acting this way. 

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