someone told me if I keep this up then I will have 9 years to live and that I am dissopointing God. Am I? Well this morning was a struggle. I ate a whole bowl of oatmeal, 35-36 grams of carbs. Afterwards I tried to throw it up but only a chunk of food came out, so I tell myself I can purge it tonight. Fiber. I need fiber. Maybe I can use that as a laxative. I open the frigerator doors and state down at all the delicious food. "remember you barely ate last night, your almost there." So I pick up an apple and take a small chunk out of it. I chew and chew until its liquid, and then swallow with water. I took one more bite and that's all I had. I felt so fat, so ashamed of myself. Tonight after school I could get rid of this. I lyes down again, did automatically 75 crunches, and got up. Its time to get on the bus for school.