Bulimia Anorexia Ana Mia


10. Done trying

I'm done trying. I'm done trying to eat. I'm done trying to stop exercising. I'm done getting judged at school, because my friends don't think I have lost any weight. I'm done. 

No matter what I do or think, anorexia now controls that thought or action. If I lye on the floor and do 50 crunches, anorexia will force me to do 100 more. If I think of eating, I think "remember the carbs. Remember that full feeling. Remember the people at school that haven't seen progress yet. Remember thinspiration. Remember." so I am done trying to eat. 

I didn't realize it till today but I tap my foot really fast or move my shoulders up and down to burn extra calories. I didn't even think about it, my anorexia did for me. Bulimia seems vanished by now. I feel like I no longer will eat for at least two full weeks. And then I will probably eat a small thing, purge it, and starve for another two weeks. Let's see what happens.

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