Passion during lesson

It isn't easy to be eighteen years old. It isn't easy to be included in an age when you're between adult and teen. It isn't easy to be in love with a teacher and the teacher was everything you dreamed about. My life was chaos, but at the same time not. I was what my parents dreamed of, but at the same time I wanted to belong to a teacher. I wanted him, I wanted to love him and I wanted to be loved. It was a dream that didn't fit into a society, as I lived in. It was a dream that turned around and couldn't be stopped.


10. New Year

Christmas break came, and my mom was busy preparing all the food and the whole house. I and my fad was exiled to his office. She wanted to have control and we just laughed at her.
"So how is it?" Dad asked cheerfully and he sat down on the other side of the desk. I sat in that  little couch and I took up the legs under me.
"Good and you?"
He laughed.
"Yes, I have travelled a lot and I haven't been home. It feels like I miss what happens in your life. Your mom said you have a boyfriend?"
I frowned.
He smiled at me.
"Yes, he seems to be an edited guy?"
I swallowed.
"I'm going to make the final!"
Dad was silent.
"Okay?" he saw at me that I was serious. "So he wasn't as good as mom told me?"
I smiled and I blushed a little.
"Well he's okay but I have no feelings for him."
He understood me.
"You shouldn't be with someone you don't love."
I agreed. The truth was that I didn't, however, dare to break up with Niall. I didn't know how to say it and Harry hadn't had time to meet with me. I felt that it was therefore not in a hurry to say something to Niall, and soon it was Christmas Eve?
"But you're going to meet the man in your life." I heard him say. I smiled. I had already met the man I wanted, but I was forced to have that as a secret.
"I know, Dad!" I got up. He smiled and he leaned back in his chair.
"You got good grades?"
I nodded. He had already seen my papers and he was pleased with me.
"I've got to fight."
He nodded.
"Yes, your mom said you had to do that test once again. Your teacher Mr Styles made sure you made it."
My heart pounded. I looked up at him and I nodded. I did everything not to blush.
"He's with Annie?" he continued and immediately I became numb in the body.
Dad laughed a little bit and he didn't see my reaction.
"Yes, your mom had made him and Annie to become a couple?"




I was angry, and the tears just ran down my cheeks. I ran through the street, and I knew where I was going. In front of me I saw again how Harry kissed her, was with her and not with me. He had lied to me? I stopped outside his house and I wasn't sure what I would do. I couldn't just ring on the door and say hello? Yet it was that I did. I wiped away the tears and I went up the stairs. I heard the bell echoed in the house and after a while Harry opened the door. He looked at me in surprise.
I swallowed.
"We need to talk."
He hesitated, and he seemed unsure.
"Not now!" he whispered hoarsely. "I have guests."
I was numb. Behind him appeared Annie up and I saw at her how happy she was. She was on the right side of the door and she had him. I panicked. Damn. I looked at Harry again and I noticed the pain in his eyes.
"I'll explain later!" he whispered hoarsely. I shook my head quickly, and I backed away from him.
"There's nothing to explain."
He saw the tears in my eyes before I spun around and I walked away.


I don't know how long I walked along the street and I cried. My whole body was shaking and I realized that he had again chosen something else. I was still too young and he just wanted to play with me. Again ached my heart. I sobbed and I tried not to go where others were. I saw children playing, throwing snowballs and I saw families who decorated the houses. I felt like a fool. This was the way life should be? It started to get dark and still I wandered just around the street.


I stood outside the school and in front of me, I saw how Harry had taken me to the couch. I had enjoyed and I'd love to be his. Now it was all just a lie. He neither wanted to have me or saw a future with me. I was again alone and I was deserted.




Christmas came and went! I was in a fog. Harry didn't even try to contact me and I realized that I now had to get used to this life. I simply had to be alone and I had to realize that everything never be as you want. When the New Year came, I chose to stay at my room. My parents had invited friends over and I couldn't even ask if Harry and Annie would come. I didn't want to know.


I heard them talking and I heard them laughing. My parents always had fun when people was over and I knew that the guests were always satisfied. I pressed my face against the pillow and I tried to get rid of all dreams. I would cope in school, that was a goal. I would look for a college that was in another country and I would do anything to get away from my old life.


I think I was falling asleep. I woke up where it began to crackle sat outside the house. Fireworks lit up my window and I looked towards the glass. I remained in bed, I realized it was a new year. The house was quiet and I suspected that all had gone out. I was surprised when there was a knock on the door. Damn, my mom? I sat up.
No answer, just to knock on the door. Irritated, I stood up and I went to the door, I turned the lock around, and when I opened, stood Harry there. I held my breath and he looked straight at me. He had red cheeks and he seemed almost unsure of what he did outside my door.
"Okay?" he muttered hoarsely. "Now you can't walk away and I just have to say sorry, but I have no relation with her. I met Annie as a friend and nothing more."
I frowned.
He put his head askew and he looked beseechingly at me.
"Please, Kim!" he whispered hoarsely. "Trust me. It's not easy not being able to be open with you and I also have feelings."
I didn't know what to say.
"I feel like the forgotten."
He shook his head, and he took a step toward me. He raised his hand and he pulled his fingers across my cheek.
"What do you want me to do?"
I had no good answer.
"I don't know, but I want to know that you only want me?"
He smiled and he took up the other hand. He caressed my cheeks and he forced me to look at him.
"I love you!" he muttered hoarsely, "I love you so much and I don't want anyone else."
Time stood still. I just stared at him. Harry loved me? He didn't seemed to understand that the words landed straight in my heart. He leaned forward and kissed me. I answered the kiss. I raised my arms around his body and I wanted more. I wanted to be surrounded by Harry, totally swept by him.


Harry pulled me into the room. He kicked the door so that it was closed, and he locked it, without letting my lips go. It happened again. Our clothes went off and we landed in bed. I couldn't resist and my conscience wouldn't say no. I recognized how he took over my soul and he filled me. I whimpered against him and I felt him move deep inside my cave. He moaned against my lips and I whimpered against him. He took me to that feeling when nothing else mattered and when I came, I did everything to not be heard down to my parents. Harry came straight inside me and I felt him fill me with his liquid. He pressed himself against me, and he was shaking. We landed in a dream where there was only two of us, no one else. I held him and I loved him.




I woke up when Harry left the bed. I opened my eyes and I saw that it was morning. He had slept over at my place? I smiled and he met my smile.
"Take your clothes on!" he said firmly. "We'll go down and tell the truth."
I was breathless.
Harry sat down on the bed and he smiled at me.
"Yes, I lay awake all night, and I've decided. We must be honest with each other and against others. Why not start with your parents?"
I swallowed.
"They will be angry?"
He laughed a little and then he kissed me.
"And? You said it before, who cares?"
I took my arms around his neck and I pulled him down towards me.
"And the thought that you don't want to lose your job?"
He kissed me softly.
"I can always compromise?"
I frowned.
He smiled big.
"I can go to the headmaster and tell the truth and declare that it's real between us?"
Now I wasn't sure about this.
"And if he fired you?"
He seemed not to care.
"There are always new jobs out there?"


Mom was putting coffee in her throat when Harry showed up. He held my hand tightly, and my dad was standing at coffee bridge. They looked like question marks.
"I want to start the new year by saying that I am in love with your daughter." Harry got up. "We have been aware of our feelings for half a year but I was afraid and now I want to tell the truth."
I swallowed. I saw that mom didn't understand. She looked at me.
I chose to be as brave as Harry.
She frowned.
"He's your teacher?"
I nodded.
"But I'm crazy about him and I have feelings for him."
"And Niall?"
What would I say?
"I was with him just to get over Harry, but it didn't work."
Mom looked at him.
"And Annie?"
Harry smiled weakly.
"Yes, she is a friend and nothing more. We have no relationship and we never had."
Mom didn't trust him.
"But according to her, are you in love with her?"
He shook his head.
"No, I was just friendly and I haven't made any effort that it would be something more."
Dad sat down and it was as if he took sides.
"So you two...?" He cleared his throat. "Were you here last night?"
Harry nodded.
"Yes, I told Kim that I want her and it doesn't work the way we have lived before. I need her and I'm ready to prove that I'm the right man for her."
Dad looked at me.
"He's so much older?"
I nodded.
"But age is irrelevant?"

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