Passion during lesson

It isn't easy to be eighteen years old. It isn't easy to be included in an age when you're between adult and teen. It isn't easy to be in love with a teacher and the teacher was everything you dreamed about. My life was chaos, but at the same time not. I was what my parents dreamed of, but at the same time I wanted to belong to a teacher. I wanted him, I wanted to love him and I wanted to be loved. It was a dream that didn't fit into a society, as I lived in. It was a dream that turned around and couldn't be stopped.

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23. Chaos

Liam sat with the morning newspaper and read. Hanna poked in the porridge and she wrinkled her nose. Charlie was lucky enough to squeeze half a sandwich in his mouth and he struggled to chew. I sat and just stared at my family. I was empty and I felt alone. I looked at Liam. He switched sides in the newspaper and I saw at him that he read everything. He was my husband, but for the first time in a long time, I doubted that I had ever loved him. I still felt Harry's lips against mine and his body against mine. Harry had been right when he said that we were meant to be together, but here I was sitting in my house, looked at my family and I wasn't with Harry.
"Mom, I hate porridge!"
I let my eyes glide over to my daughter. She pulled away the plate and she looked angrily at me. I smiled a little bit.
"You become big and strong of porridge."
She snorted.
"No, that you telling me, just for me to eat."
Liam looked up from the newspaper and he smiled at her.
"When I was in your age, I ate porridge all the time and look at me today?"
Hanna sighed.
"Yes, you are a man?"
He laughed.
"Mom's right. You become strong of porridge and I promise that you will notice it."
Hanna sighed and she pulled back the plate.
"Are you sure?"
Liam nodded.
"Yes, I never lie to my daughter."
I reacted. I looked over at Liam. He felt that he was Hanna's dad and I saw at him that he loved her. I had so much to lose if I told the truth to him. I was sure that his parents would make so that Liam got to keep the kids and they had contacts that could help them. I wasn't ready to lose everything, just because Harry had come back. Liam met my gaze and he smiled big.
"This weekend we will go over to the golf course." he said cheerfully. "My parents have bought a new golf cart and they want us to play golf."
I smiled.
"Okay?"
He didn't know that I the day before had been with Harry. Liam had no idea how much I had loved to feel Harry's naked body, or that I had kissed him in the way I loved to kiss a man. Liam didn't know that Harry had taken me over and over again on the floor and I had allowed it. I suffered.

 

----

 

I don't know why I took the car all the way to Harry's house. I don't know why I got out of the car, went up to the door and rang the doorbell. The only thing I know is that when he opened the door, I threw myself into his arms. He took me up to the bedroom and we tore off our clothes. He took me time after time again and I wanted it. I wanted him near me and I wanted to feel him inside me. I was addicted to Harry, I cheated and I was a fool. Nevertheless, I stopped to think normally when I was near him. I just wanted to feel his body against mine and I wanted to make love to him all the time. We were crazy, we were totally inside to making love, and we didn't care about anything else in the world. The only thing as was, was we and we wanted to be where we were.

 

I was lying with my head against Harry's chest. He held me and he was as tired as I was. He pulled a hand through my hair and I could hear, how his heart beat. Time stood still and I felt safe. I was home!
"I will lose the children!" I got up. Harry kissed my hair.
"You're a lawyer?"
I looked up at him.
"Liam's parents will make sure he gets everything and I will stand alone."
Harry smiled at me.
"You get me?"
I frowned.
"And my children then? Actually, I have two children and I don't want to leave them."
He thought.
"There must be some way?"
I didn't know what to say.
"I don't know!" I whispered hoarsely. "I just don't want to lose them. I don't care about the house or my belongings. I just don't want to lose Hannah and Charlie."
Harry looked into my eyes and he understood me. He didn't need to say a single word. We were at an impasse. We were the losers however we did.
"I love you!" he whispered hoarsely. "And I would like to one day live with you, under the same roof, and know that you belong to me."
I smiled.
"It's impossible, Harry?"
He disagreed with me.
"No, everything is possible and I wont let you go, not now that I once again have the chance to get you."
He kissed me and he pulled me up over him. He held me tightly and I felt the love from him. He kissed me with all his heart.
"But .." I murmured against his lips. He ended the kiss and he looked straight into my eyes.
"We'll think of something!" he whispered hoarsely. "I wont give up and I promise I'll make sure you get what you want."
I swallowed.
"You know it's just a dream, right?"
He shook his head.
"No, it's not a dream." he let his hands slip over my back, which caused that I felt my innermost wanted more. I kissed him again and I let him penetrate again. I rode him, I was close to him, I was his and there was no tomorrow.

 

----

 

"You look tired?"
Liam looked nervously at me. I frowned and I slid into bed. I lay down far away from him. I wanted distance.
"I have a headache!"
Yes it was a good excuse? He slid down on his side of the bed and he took up that book he read. I turned off my lamp and I lay down with my back to him. In front of me I saw Harry. I couldn't stop thinking about him and I felt empty without him. Still, I was forced to live in this lie. The lie that we had a good life. Liam was my husband and I had two children with him. There weren't many people knew that Hanna was Harry's child. Maybe I should have told her? Still, I hadn't thought that Harry would come back and I had never imagined it would be like this.

 

I woke up because Liam lay close to my back. I felt the hardness and I felt his lips against my skin. No, I didn't want to touch him.
"I have a headache!"
He didn't care.
"Lie still, I'll take care of you."
He pulled down my panties and he took me from behind, as he always did when I was pregnant. I felt how he penetrated and I heard him groan. I closed my eyes and I suffered. I had no feelings for Liam, and I felt nothing. "
Oh, Darling!" he murmured incitement against my cheek. He let a hand slide down and he began to caress me. I was about to tell him the truth. I was so close to saying that it was just Harry who made me enjoy. Liam still managed to get me going. I don't know how, but finally we reached both there. I whimpered and I was shaking. I felt how he filled me. He pressed his body against me, and he brought it inside me one last time.
"Oh darling, fuck!"
Liam collapsed behind me and he kept me in his arms.
"Oh, you are so wonderful!"
I just wanted to cry. I just wanted to scream. He began to breathe heavier and finally he fell asleep. Then came the tears. Damn, I couldn't continue in this way.

 

----

 

I landed in a fog. I woke up, I did what I could and I went to bed without feeling anything. My body was empty, I felt nothing, and I couldn't almost not be myself. My children gave me love, but I didn't accept that they loved me. I was an evil person. I was the witch that they should kill. I wasn't a nice person.

 

----

 

"Mom where are we doing here?"
I swallowed and I stopped the car outside Harry's house. Both Hanna and Charlie was with me and I just wanted to see him. I hesitated.
"Do you remember the man who spoke to us when you purchased the ice cream?"
She nodded.
"Yes, he as was staring at us?"
I nodded.
"He's mummy's friend and he lives here."
She had no interest in it.
"But I want to go home!"
Harry had seen my car. He came out of the house. I was fast.
"Sit!" I said to the children and I opened the door and went out. Harry realized that he couldn't hug me and I saw the longing in his eyes.
"I just wanted to see you!" I got up and I closed the door. He stood on the other side of the car. He waved to my children, and then he looked at me again.
"When can you come here alone?"
I didn't know what to say.
"Harry, I don't know if I can handle this relationship."
He didn't give up and he raised his eyebrows.
"I'll fight until you're mine. I have contacted an attorney regarding Hanna."
I become stiff all over.
"But you promised not to change her life?"
He smiled weakly.
"I haven't done anything yet, but if Liam messing with me and what's mine,  then I will do the same to him."
I frowned.
"Please, leave Hanna outside this."
He looked straight into my eyes.
"I can't promise anything. You know that I'm her biological father and you know that I have the right to get to know her?" he said it low so the children wouldn't hear him. "And I'm really to struggling to get that life as I want. I want you and I want her here, in my house. The more you are with Liam, the more desperate I will become."
I became scared.
"Please!"
He shook his head.
"No Kim, I have listened to other for six years, now it's my turn to be heard, and I can't take in account of Liam or your boring life. I want what I'm entitled to get."
I didn't know what to say. He was appointed and he wouldn't give up.
"I will come after you." he whispered hoarsely. "And I know you love me and I love you. Liam's just the way of us and you know what I'm talking about."

 

----

 

The paper came home. Liam was cursed.
"He can't fucking come back and demand that he should get her?"
I sat down on the sofa in his office.
"I'm afraid he has right on his side."
Liam looked cold over at me.
"Do you know anything about this?"
I chose to lie.
"No, Liam!"
He banged his fist on the desk.
"Damn, she's my daughter. Just because he happened to fuck you doesn't make him a father."
I just stared at him. Okay, he was cursed? He looked at me again and I saw that he regretted what he had said.
"But it's true!" he growled hoarsely. "He made you pregnant and then he run away from you? After more than six years he comes back and thinks he has the right to take her away from us?"
I looked down at my hands. I was shaking all over. Liam picked up the phone and I heard that he called home, to his dad.
"Find out everything about Harry Styles. I'm going to pulling him down into hell."
I just wanted to cry. Why couldn't Liam only understand? Harry was her biological father and that we couldn't change that. I didn't want to change that.
"I want to know everything, and he wont fucking get to poke at my daughter!" shouted Liam in the handset. "He shouldn't fucking destroy mine and Kim's life. We did well without him and he can go to hell."

 

"Okay, we'll start with his background."
Liam called to another contact who would help him. I didn't know what I would do and I didn't want to hear, yet I remained.
"Yes, he was with my wife and he was a teacher at her school." I heard him say in the handset. I realized where he was going.
"Please Liam leave that part alone!"
He looked straight at me.
"But, darling, we don't want to lose and it does sound good when I get to tell the judge that he was your teacher."
I frowned.
"Liam, you know that's not true. He didn't touch me until last year, and then it was my fault."
Liam disagreed.
"I think we should take that as the best part. He wanted to fuck with a student and that he will have to pay for. Maybe he was even with more students?"
I was angry.
"No, it was just me and it wasn't that he just fucked me."
Liam became numb.
"Whose side are you on?"
I stood up.
"I'm on my daughter's side!"
Liam rolled his eyes but I didn't give up.
"This isn't about throwing shit on him!" I growled. "You have something against Harry, and you let your personal opinion take over. Damn Liam! If you so much as throwing shit on him, because of me, I will leave you. It's a threat!"
I went to the door and I heard that he was unsure.
"But I don't want to lose her?"
I turned around and I looked at him coldly.
"You will lose if you drag me into it. Harry and I got together when I was young, but I was eighteen. I wasn't fifteen years old and he has the hell not touched a single student before me."
Liam frowned.
"So I'll just give up?"
I shook my head.
"You should stick to the facts." I whispered hoarsely. "Yes, he left me, he thought I had been unfaithful with you."
Liam fell silent. He sat down and he just stared at me. I smiled weakly.
"Yes, he accused me to be with you and he left me because he thought I had fucked you. He'll use it against you and what's your evidence that you weren't with me?"

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