6. just friends?
i hate "what if" games they just reming you of what you dont have. Carl loves them and he loves comic books and reading and chocolate bars. i no this because..........
earlier that morning
*woke up* "hey" Carl said as soon as he saw me sit my head up. he was reading a book called "hatchet" "look i know your not really into books *laughs* but i like them, plus there for church....." carl says as interupt him "its not that i dont like to read its just that i just dont see a reason anymore, plus i dont go to school" i say back he smiles at me and says "Haley, i can get you into this school and how can you not see a reason anymore, there are a million reasons why we should read" there is a place under here that has chairs and a long table and a smaller table that the person teaching sits at. and a card board box that has ink and stuff in it. and another box that has paper and clear paper and comic books and books in it. thats what they call the school."ill talk to carol about it and we'll see about school for you" he says smirking. "why would you do that for me" i ask him. "isnt that what friends do, help one another" he says not smirking anymore, looking kind of disapointed. he walks out seeming mad. "friends" i repeat
later that day.............
"carl" i say walking in to our room. he doesnt answer. "carl" i say louder he turns around. "im sorry, i get why you dont want to be with me, but it makes me mad that you come here and in the little time you make me madder at you then at the walkers, just because i can have what i really want" he says "carl" i say again but sounding desperate this time
earlier in the week
*sitting on top of a big tv stand* "what would you call us" carl ask me "what do you mean" i ask "i like you, more than i should really" he says "i dont want to get too close to you" i say. carl grabs my hand and pulls me close he kisses me lightly on the lips. "i cant stand not being with you, nobody has to know" carl says. "its not about people not knowing its about not getting to close,not feeling to loss as much." i say getting up and jumping down "cant,i want to....i just cant" "ok"he says looking like i had just killed his baby sister. i run out
i start crying "i tried to talk myself out of saying this. because i dont want either of us to get hurt if one of us die but i do want to be with you.....and-" carl interupts me he walks over and kisses me."we can keep it a secret for now" "ok"i say back