No Longer In Pain


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1. No Longer In Pain

I am not good with showing how I feel.
No until the pain becomes to real.
The moment my walls come down.
In a flood of tears, I drown.
When sorrow flows in a steady stream.
I no longer know how to dream.

I use to be so well guarded,
That emotion could not be seen on my face, not even a trace.
That I stood tall and strong.
In a world that did me wrong.
I could hold back my hurt,
When people looked down on me as if I was dirt.

When my heart could take, the ache.
Even though it was damaged and tore,
I told myself, I always swore.
That words were all they were and nothing more.
That I could turn my back and ignore their cruelty.
Just turn away,
Just not listen to what they say.

The days grew longer, but the minutes were endless,
And I would look upon the stars at night,
I would ask whoever was listening then,
If it were alright,
If I could give up the fight.
Because I was tired and alone,
An outcast and on my own.

The wall that protected my soul crumbled and crashed,
Turned to ruble fast,
My strong facade was never meant to last.
And so I to fell.
I made no sound, not even a yell.
As if there was anyone who heard when they could never tell,
I was about to crack.

Now. The tears continue to fall,
Wishing I had someone I could call,
Out to.
They don't stop only continue to flow one after another.
One tear, after the other.
Is it because of pain?
Or is it because it comes natural,
Just like the rain.

I can not tell because I have done it for so long.
Crying.
Until I finally gave up trying.
My heart no longer plays its own song,
It doesn't carry the same tune it once had.
Now isn't that sad...
That I let life gets the best of me,
Now I am not who I used to be,

I can no longer see,
A way out of the dark pit,
No opening, no rift.
Just darkness all around.
Capturing everything it surrounds.
No light to shine through,
My life is done, through.

Somehow, I am okay with that.

I am no longer in pain.

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