The Victim // fivesos

"When these people bully me, I don't want to become the victim or bystander. I want to become the bully."

(it was still Unity Day when I published this)

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1. Prologue

"I go to school each day and I just go to my locker and wait for my fate to come, and it always scares me. But what hurt me most wasn't the name-calling or the teasing, threatening, or insulting, it was the fact that these people who were actually threatening and teasing and insulting me used to be my friends. I thought I could trust them and tell them anything and do anything with them, but then just out of nowhere they turned their backs on me and betrayed me and that's what hurts me most.

"During class I fantasize about me being the popular one, not the unknown one. Being the pretty one, not the ugly one. Being the fit one, not the fat one. But what I daydream about most is being the one girl in school that is known by everyone, who is pretty and smart and perfect, who is loved and adored by everyone. I fantasize about being that one girl, not me.

"Every night, after school, when I'm laying in bed, I just stare up to my ceiling and think about everything that has happened to me. I contemplate which insult the bullies are going to use. I think about if had a normal life.

"And, when it got too far, I didn't say anything. I just stood there and tried to tolerate it. But, usually, when people bully me, I don't want to be a victim or bystander. I want to be the bully."

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