I Caught a Glimpse..

This is just the ramblings of someone with a love she thought was everything

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1. This is the only chapter I have for now, sorry.

  You have no idea how hard it was to not tell you I'm not going to be okay if you leave, that I'm not happy unless I'm with you. You moving across the country, back to your home town, was a devastating thing to hear. But I do hope you'll be happy! Listening to you talk about your home town is the best thing ever, the enthusiasm and the wonder and the happiness I hear in your voice is incredible. And the way your accent comes through after you've been talking about it for a while is the sweetest and most sincere voice I've ever heard from you. Because it's the real you, not the you that you taught yourself to be after coming here. I caught a glimpse of that and there's no turning away. I realize now you were trying to help me be the best me I could be. But I didn't want to hear anything you had to say after that. I was too hasty. Too angry. And now here we are; You're next to me, not so far away, and I can't even do anything about it because I feel like I'm not worthy of your affection after acting so foolishly. 'If you could forgive me completely, would you give it another shot?' Is the question I want answered so badly I could cry. I won't cry though. We both know I'm too stubborn for that. Being one of the few people you can completely be yourself around is an amazing feeling. Finally knowing the answer to my question, that all the love you had for me in the beginning and middle parts of our relationship is just gone.. It hurts more than you'll ever know, I know you were disappointed in yourself, hoping the loss of passion was just a phase and trying to stick it out in a hope that we could still be together. Hearing that now, almost two years after the fact I can't help but appreciate that you tried. And knowing that there aren't any romantic feelings left on your end has helped this pain fade greatly. The 'what ifs' are no more. I think I can move on and sincerely be your best friend again. Even though you'll never see this; Thank you for that glimpse of happiness, however short. 
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