Didn't Turn Back

Buffy the vampire slayer. Buffy doesn't go back to Willow at the end of Wrecked. Hours later Spike finds Willow with a bruised head and shredded arms nearly dead. Love vs guilt.

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13. Snacks And Pills

Dawn gasped and covered her mouth with both hands, her eyes wide. Xander had to grab onto the back of a chair to keep himself upright. Anya jumped and squealed. And Buffy's eyes went wide with fear and her mouth fell ajar. Tara smiled weakly at them and sat down on the chair to the right of the redhead. At seeing her friends reactions to her, Willow's terrifying attempt at a smile faded and she turned her head and eyes back to her hands. Tara moved her hand to her loves leg, trying to make her feel better, but the redhead scooted further left on her seat, away from Tara. The blonde retracted her hand. Buffy, realizing what her friend must be feeling after seeing hers and the others reactions to her, forced a smile on her face and sat across from Willow. Come on Buffy, The slayer yelled at herself. Try to act like everything's normal. Make her feel better about all this. "Willow it's so great to see you again. How's living here? Do you like the food?" She asked uncertainly. The witch looked up at her through her black-red, unevenly cut fringe that reached the tip of her nose. “It's okay here. There're lots of interesting people. But it gets kinda loud sometimes.” She shrugged with one shoulder, still not lifting her head up. Xander and Anya sat down on the two seats between the redhead and Buffy, Dawn cautiously sat to Buffy's left next to Tara. "The food's nice, though kinda tasteless.” She half smiled at a memory. “But that gets kinda loud to.” Xander laughed nervously at her remark, trying to lighten the mood. Willow's half smile reseeded, she could tell how forced Xander's laugh was. The carpenters laughter stopped abruptly, and he said “Speaking of food, do you want any?” “Yes, food. We have money and there're snack dispensing machines over there.” Anya chimed in cheerfully, pointing to the row of vending machines. “Yeah um, I am kinda hungry. Thanks.” The raggedy-haired witch said with a weak smile. “Okay then,” Xander said and stood from his chair, Anya following suit. “I will go get you some.” He moved around his chair and his girlfriend followed him as he made his way to the vending machines. She turned back around but kept walking away from the other Scoobies. “We will be back soon with various unhealthy packages of food.” The ex-demon called out too loudly, then turned back away from the group. Their table was suddenly quiet, and they could hear the other people in the room talking. The three girls who didn't live there were watching the one who did with trepidation. The slayer realized she couldn't take any more of the quiet and decided to break it. “Tara,” She said, turning her attention to the other blonde. The witch in question turned her head from her love at hearing her name. “Y-yeah Buffy?" "How're your classes?” Tara thought for a moment, then said while nodding “T-they're good, the t-teachers aren't as good as the-the ones in Sunnydale, though. But t-they're fine.” They're all so scared and sad that they don't know what to do. Everything would be so much easier if I had just died when I crashed that car. Willow thought sadly. Or if I'd died when I shredded my wrists, or when I overdosed on those pills that took a hundred years to work. "What's your apartment like? Can we see it later?" Buffy asked, drawing Willow's mind back to the conversation going on around her. “It's n-nice and roomy,” Tara replied with a small, half smile. “and the rents n-not bad. But there's this g-guy who lives across the hall from me who k-keeps hitting on me and asking me out. It's r-really creepy.” Willow's head shot up at that. “What? A guys hitting on her?” She whipped her head round to look at the slayer. “Buffy when you go to Tara's place can get your slayer on and make him want to move somewhere else?” The redhead said, more of a command than a question, her voice filled with anger that somebody was creeping Tara out. Buffy looked hesitant, so Tara said to her love “Willow it-it's just kind of a-annoying, it's n-no big deal.” Willow didn't turn from Buffy. Her eyes flared with fire. Buffy made herself think. And then the slayer said “I'll just talk to him, Will. See if he might want to focus on someone else, okay?” The disheveled girl in white looked disappointed at that, but nodded. If that guy comes near Tara aga-, Willow's thoughts froze, then she remembered why Tara had met that guy. He never would have come near Tara in the first place if I hadn't been sent down here. If I hadn't put all my friends through all this, If I hadn't made Tara forget. If I hadn't hurt Tara. Oh god, I hurt Tara! I hurt her and brought her here to meet that creepy guy! It's all my fault, I keep hurting her! I keep hurting her! I KEEP HURTING HER! Willow started hyperventilating. Tara heard her loves too fast breaths and immediately reached into her trouser pocket and pulled out a small, orange bottle labeled 'WILLOW ROSENBERG, CALMING MEDICATION'. She looked panicky and tried to undo the lid. Buffy had stood from her chair and moved to the redheads side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and rubbing the witches upper arm to sooth her. “Willow calm down.” The slayer told her as softly as she could, but her voice was laced with her panic. “Willow it's okay, I'll get that guy to move, I swear, just calm down. Everything's okay, okay?” She looked at Tara with wide, fearful eyes as she said the second okay. The lid seemed to be stuck slightly, but Tara managed to force it open. She took out two white pills and gently forced them into her loves mouth. The blonde witch put one hand behind the redheads head and her other on her chin, making Willow's mouth close. “Shhh, baby, it's okay. J-just swallow.” She instructed. After a few seconds Willow swallowed with an audible gulp. Her hyperventilating went on for a short moment before she relaxed into her chair, her eyes fluttered shut. And her arms and legs went limp. Tara released the witches head, breathing deeply to calm herself. Willow's head slumped to one side and a sleepy smile spread over her face. “Taaarrra.” The redhead purred quietly. A sad smile worked its way onto the blondes features. “I'm r-right here, baby. I'm r-right here.” Buffy sat on Xander's seat, looking slightly confused but relieved that her friends hyperventilating hadn't turned into anything more. "What was that?" The slayer asked the other blonde. Tara flicked her eyes to Buffy. "S-something just s-scared her. It-it happens quite a l-lot." She answered sadly. Buffy nodded. Willow lazily turned her head towards Buffy. "Hey Buffy." She giggled. "Your name's funny, Buffy." The redhead poked the slayers arm as she said that. Buffy made herself smile. "Yeah, it is kind of funny." And she poked Willow's arm to. Xander and Anya soon returned. Both with their arms pilled high with little colorful bags of food and cans and bottle of various drinks. “We're back with the unhealthy, sugar coated snacks and bubbly refreshments.” The ex-demon announced cheerfully. Dawn helped them unpack the food from their arms and onto the table. “T-thanks, Xander, thanks Anya.” Tara said smiling. “No problem Tarr.” Xander replied. “Thhhank you Alexander.” Willow stretched out the 'th' sound in thank. Xander looked at her slightly confused as to why she was using his full first name. Anya coughed out “I helped to.” And studied a wall intently. Willow turned her lazy grin to the ex-demon. “And thank you Lady Anyanka.” She added. Anya smiled happily that her food getting skills were being acknowledged. Seeming to not notice being called 'Lady Anyanka'. “Um,” The carpenter said, reaching for a bag of cheesy chips. “What's with Will?” He asked uncertainly. The slayer answered his question. “She started to have a bit of a panic attack so Tara gave her some pills.” Tara nodded. “T-they make her k-kind of loopy.” Xander opened his chips and said “Oh, okay.” then started eating. "Do y-you want some c-chips Will?” Tara asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. The redhead nodded, her eyes focused on her love. Tara turned to the city of snacks covering their table and picked a bag of sour cream and chives chips. She moved her hand from Willow's shoulder to open the bag and took out a large potato chip. The blonde held it up to her loves mouth and said “O-open up s-sweetie.” Willow happily obeyed, keeping her smile in place. Tara put the chip in her mouth and retracted her hand. Willow kept her mouth open, pretending she didn't know what to do now. The witch gave her a warm smile and instructed “N-now close and chew, t-then swallow.” The witch in white slowly closed her mouth and chewed just as slowly, keeping her eyes locked with Tara's. Tara smiled lovingly at her, forgetting that her love was only doing this because she'd given her a drug. Adorable Willow. She thought to herself.

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