Didn't Turn Back

Buffy the vampire slayer. Buffy doesn't go back to Willow at the end of Wrecked. Hours later Spike finds Willow with a bruised head and shredded arms nearly dead. Love vs guilt.


17. Singing And A Spoon

The hours between the redhead being strapped to her bed and being unstrapped from it were hours of uninterrupted awake-ness. The witch wouldn't dare let her eyes close for more than a second at a time. Because with the darkness that accompanies every blink came sharp images and crystal clear memories of every foul look, every harsh word and every unjustified spell directed to her beloved Tara.

With her eyes open the memories were blurry, and the sound was muffled. Tara's voice rang throughout her head so loud Willow was surprised her roommate couldn't hear it. “Willow, you are using too much magic. What do you want me to do, just, just sit back and keep my mouth shut?” Then the redheads own voice spoke. “Well, that'd be a good start.”

Willow's breath caught in her throat and a chocked sob broke the silence of the room. The blondes shocked and hurt face swam over her eyes. “If I didn't love you so damn much I would!”

Another chocked sob, then Willow started soundlessly crying, but forced her eyes to stay open. YOU EVIL BITCH! She yelled at herself.

How could you? Willow asked in her head. Tara is your everything, and you said that? What's wrong with you? you, you, well I don't know what you are but it's not good!

"What do you want me to do, just, just sit back and keep my mouth shut?” The amazing voice said louder. The witch cried hysterically and silently. She just couldn't stop.

"What do you want me to do, just, just sit back and keep my mouth shut?” Willow's head ached from the volume of her loves voice and the anger behind it.

"I'm so sorry, Tara.” She panted, her voice cracked and painful. “I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so so sorry. Oh god, baby I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Tara. I'm sorry.”

[An LA Sidewalk 1:25AM]> “Y-yeah, that's f-fine.” Tara said with a rather drunk smile. “Are you sure?” Buffy asked, also a bit drunk but not as much as the witch. “I mean Dawn and I could just get a hotel room like Xander and Anya.” “It'll b-” The witches word was interrupted with a hiccup, she paused for a second then continued. “be f-fun.”

"Okay, I'll bid you ladies adieu then." Xander said with a very drunk ex-demon sucking at his neck, Anya's hands roamed freely over his body. Usually the carpenter would squirm and stop his fiancée from doing so in front of their friends but, as he was more than a little intoxicated himself, he didn't mind.

"K, bye Xand.” Dawn said, the only member of the small group left non-liquor dazed. Xander turned toward the road and put an arm around Anya's waist. He looked down the street to the left and whistled loudly. A yellow taxi pulled up in front of him and he maneuvered himself in, keeping Anya attached to his neck.

As the taxi door shut Buffy waved and said “Night Xander.” “B-BYE B-BYE XANDERRRRRRR.” Tara called after the car happily as it drove away.

The slayer linked arms with her sister and the witch and started down the sidewalk to Tara's apartment. Tara, the drunkest of the three, brought her feet up to knee height with each step and swayed side to side. Dawn unlinked her arm from her sisters and moved round to the witches right side and took her arm.

"Good move.” Buffy told her. The brunette girl smiled and looked at Tara. “Do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do.” Tara started to sing the beginning of a very popular song, and she soon started the words.

"W-when I wake up,” She sang, her head tilted back and her mouth open wide to give herself as much volume as she could. “well I know I'm gonna. I'm gonna be the man who w-wakes up next to you.” The blonde stopped her singing to giggle. She leaned close to Buffy's ear and whispered like it was a secret. “It's f-funny because I'm n-not a m-man.”

The slayer joined her friend in giggling and soon Dawn did to. Tara tilted her head back again and continued singing. “Wh-when I go out, yeah I know I'm g-gonna be. I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you.”

Tara giggled again, then lazily turned her head to Dawn, then to Buffy then back again. “Come on guys.” She said encouragingly. “If I get drunk, well I know I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be the man who gets d-drunk next to you.” Her stutter lessened with each verse. She nudged the slayer with her elbow.

Buffy tried to suppress a grin, then she to started singing the Proclaimers oh so famous song. “And If I haver, hey I know I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you.” The blondes sang in unison, but not in matching pitch.

"But I would walk 500 miles.” Dawn joined in on the next verse. "And I would walk 500 more. Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles. To fall down at your door.”

They got their foot steps in time and the two sisters started walking like their friend, lifting their feet knee heigh.

"When I'm working, yes I know I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you. And when the money comes in for the work I do. I'll pass almost every penny on to you. "When I come home," Dawn and Tara did the extra "When I come home." Then they joined back in with Buffy.

“oh I know I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you. And if I grow old, well I know I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you.

But I would walk 500 miles. And I would walk 500 more. Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles. To fall down at your door.

"DA D-DA DA!” Tara yelled into the night, the other two girls going silent. Then they switched, Tara being quiet and Buffy and Dawn yelling “DA D-DA DA!” They switched again. “DA D-DA DA!” And again. “DA D-DA DA!

Then in unison they sang “Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle a da da.” Tara again “DA D-DA DA!” Buffy and Dawn- “DA D-DA DA!” Tara- “DA D-DA DA!” Buffy and Dawn- “DA D-DA DA!” All three- “Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle a da da.

When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be. Im gonna be the man who's lonely without you. And when I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream. I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you. When I go out,” The slayer held her singing for the other two girls to sing “When I go out.” She started again. “well I know I'm gonna be.

I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you. And when I come home,” Just Dawn and Tara- “When I come home.” All together- “yes I know I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be the man who's coming back home with you. I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with you.

But I would walk 500 miles. And I would walk 500 more. Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles. To fall down at your door."

And following the same order as the other two times, Tara did- "DA D-DA DA! The Summers girls did- "DA D-DA DA! Tara Maclay- "DA D-DA DA!The Summers sisters again- "DA D-DA DA!

All together- "Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle a da da." "DA D-DA DA!" "DA D-DA DA!" "DA D-DA DA!" "DA D-DA DA!" "Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle a da da."

Tara- “DA D-DA DA!” Buffy and Dawn- “DA D-DA DA!” Tara- “DA D-DA DA!” Buffy and Dawn- “DA D-DA DA!” “Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle a da da.” Tara- “DA D-DA DA!” Buffy and Dawn- “DA D-DA DA!” Tara- “DA D-DA DA!” Buffy and Dawn- “dA D-DA DA!” “Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle a da da.”

And then the last bit the three friends sang together. “And I would walk 500 miles. And I would walk 500 more. Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles. To fall down at your doooooorrrrrrrrrr!

They carried out the 'oor' from door. An unspoken challenge issued between them. The slayer faltered first. Dawn and Tara went on for two or three minutes before the witch broke into laughter. The teen grinned victoriously and continued stretching the oor.

Buffy laughed with Tara as the two watched and waited for the brunette to cease, which she did after another two minutes.
Hysteric fits of joyous laughter echoed down the street, Tara's apartment still a far bit away. A window opened on the third floor of an apartment building and a dark haired woman in her 20s stuck her head out. "Hey, ya mind shutting it?" She yelled at them with a fading Canadian accent.

They stopped laughing and Tara yelled back in a whisper voice “S-s-sorry.” The woman Drew her head back in and closed her window.

Tara, Buffy and Dawn went into a much, much quieter chorus of laughter and continued walking. When they thought the woman was out of earshot they started singing 500 miles again. But the last verse of the second round of the great song was sung quieter as they were ascending the four flights of stairs to Tara's place of living.

Tara fumbled with her key, so Dawn got it from her and unlocked the door. The three entered, Buffy guided Tara and Dawn shut and locked the door behind them all, then found the light switch and banished the darkness from the apartment.

The front door opened into the relatively small kitchen, the few cabinets, counter tops, sink and all the walls were pistachio green and the refrigerator was an old, graying white. A small, wooden square table stood against the wall opposite the front door, with four chairs pressed into it and a doorless door frame went to the front doors left, about two or three feet away from the table.

The door frame led into a 9 foot by 9 foot, wood paneled floor living room, wherein lay a three-seater couch, two ceiling high, sturdy book shelves filled with old and new books ranging from college textbooks to magical history books and a few high stacks of boxes.

Another door frame, with a door this time, was a few centimeters to the doorless ones left, sharing a wall with the kitchen. Buffy sat the giggling drunk blonde down at the table. “You hungry Tara?” She asked. Tara shook her head and said “I'm t-tired, I th-think I should go to-to bed.”

“Yeah I think that's a good idea.” Dawn said with a yawn. The youngest girl there walked to the door frame. “I'll take the couch, you share with Tara.” The brunette told her sister looking over her shoulder. Buffy helped Tara stand and said, as she followed the teen into the living room, “Dawn it's okay, I can take the-”

Dawn put a hand on her hip and interrupted her sister. “Buffy I'm not taking the couch out of courtesy, I helped her pick it out, it's super comfy.” She said with a gesture to the peace of furniture in question.

“Ha ha.” The slayer said, trying to sound unamused. “Fine, I'll sleep with Miss Drunk here.” Buffy realized what what she said implied a moment after saying it. “Okay, so not what I meant.” Tara laughed hard at the poor wording.

“M-my bedroom is through h-” The witch hiccuped. “here.” She loosed herself from the slayer and opened the door by the empty door frame. The bedroom was just a little smaller than the kitchen. It had a dresser, a bed with a laptop lying on neatly laid out clothes, another, full book shelf and one more doorless frame. Which Buffy correctly guessed was the entrance to the bathroom.

Tara pulled a blanket from the end of the bed and a pillow from the beds head. She passed them to Dawn. “H-here you g-go, Dawnie.” The witch said with a motherly smile, which was somewhat fazed by her high level of drunkenness.

“Thanks.” Dawn said then shut the bedrooms door and went back to the couch, very quietly laughing to herself. Buffy's in for an awkward night.

The older of the two blondes sat at the foot of the bed and took of her shoes, tossing them lazily to a small pile of discarded clothes. Buffy looked around the room, taking in every detail and thought that if it weren't for the christmas lights strung across the ceiling and the candles and charms scattered about the room, she wouldn't have guessed Tara lived here.

The witch pulled her hair out of its hair-tie and combed her fingers through the blonde locks. She stood and pulled off her sweater, adding it to the clothing pile. Tara had a thin t-shirt on underneath it. Buffy looked away as the drunk girl switched out her ankle length skirt for knee long shorts.

She bunched up the neatly laid out clothes and put them on the floor, then she scooted to the head of the bed and climbed under the covers.

She giggled as she wriggled into a comfier spot. “C-cold.” She said, her back facing the center of the mattress. Buffy laughed and down-dressed until she was only in her white undershirt and jeans.

“Y-you c-can use a p-pair of my s-shorts if you w-want.” Tara offered, making herself stop giggling. Buffy smiled. “Thanks.” she went to the dresser and took out a pair of short shorts she never thought Tara would wear. The slayer turned to Tara and raised her eyebrows high in question.

The witch blushed and answered the nonverbal question. “I w-wear them wh-when I go running.” Buffy nodded. “I didn't know you ran.” She said while switching into the short pants. “I s-started a little w-while after I m-met Willow.”

Buffy flicked off the lights and climbed into the left side of the bed. “Night Tara.” She said. “N-night Buffy.”


The slayer woke up the next morning with something warm and soft pressed against her and warm breath lightly brushing against her neck. What felt like arms were wrapped around her waist and what she guessed was a leg was lying curled around one of her own legs.

She actually purred in the warm embrace, thinking for a second it was Spike, then she remembered Spike was dead and his body was as cold as ice and she opened her eyes. The slayer looked down at the arms around her waist and thought they looked kind of feminine.

Her eyes shot wide when she remembered she was in Tara's bed. Buffy quickly, but gently, pried herself from the witches arms and removed tara's leg from her own. The blonde stood at the side of the bed and looked down at the sleeping girl uncomfortably. Okay, that was just weird. Try to forget your best friends ex-girlfriend was spooning you for god knows how long.

Buffy used the bathroom then went into the kitchen, Dawn was sitting at the table drinking water from a mug. When the slayer entered the room the brunettes face broke into a mischievous grin. “Have a good night?” She asked raising her eyebrows knowingly.

The blonde gave her sister a suspicious look and asked “What did you do?” Dawn pointed her eyes at her mug and tried to make herself look like she was confessing a terrible secret. “I didn't really help Tara pick out that couch.”

That's it? Buffy thought. She didn't help pick out a couch? That's all she did? Well I'm glad it's not another apoca- Wait, Buffy crossed her arms under her breast and tilted her head to one side. “Do you mean,” “That last summer when Willow and Tara were taking care of me, Willow told me Tara is a natural spoon? Yes, that is what I mean.” Dawn said with an amused voice.

“You took the couch so Tara would spoon me?” Buffy asked, her eyebrows high. Her voice a mix of 'that's funny' and 'how didn't I think of that last night?'.

“Yep.” Dawn said cheerfully. “Oh you will pay, young lady.” The slayer told her sister, trying to stifle her need to laugh. “You. Will. Pay.”

Buffy allowed herself a smile and went to the fridge. “Do you know if there's any food?” She asked her sister. Dawn shook her head. “No, the fridge just has beer, butter and a couple eggs.” The slayer opened the fridge anyway and was surprised at the amount of beer inside.

“Tara's got a lot of beer.” Dawn nodded at her sisters comment. “Yeah. I didn't know she liked it so much.” Dawn said and took a sip from her mug. The slayer shut the fridge and said “How about we take Tara to breakfast when she gets up? And later we can hang out with Xander and Anya.” Dawn nodded to this to. “Okay.”

The two Summers girls heard a yawn and turned to see Tara walk into the room, scratching her head with one hand. “M-morning.” She said sleepily. Buffy and Dawn chuckled.

Tara looked at them confusedly. “Um, w-what d-did I d-do?” The slayer and brunette's chuckling turned into a quiet laugh. “W-what happened? What'd I m-miss?” Dawn calmed her laughter enough to get out “You spooned Buffy.”

The witch blushed brightly and bit her lip, looking at the floor. “S-sorry Buffy.” The blonde said to the slayer. Buffy's laughing eased back, and she went over to the embarrassed girl. “Don't worry about it Tara. Hey Dawn and I were thinking we could all go out and get some breakfast, what do you say?” Tara looked back up at the slayer, her blushing considerably lesser. “S-sure. T-that s-sounds fun.” She said with a smile.

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