Didn't Turn Back

Buffy the vampire slayer. Buffy doesn't go back to Willow at the end of Wrecked. Hours later Spike finds Willow with a bruised head and shredded arms nearly dead. Love vs guilt.


23. First Appearance

A glass emptied, a clink of the glass as she roughly placed it atop the bar, her hand drunkenly waved at Willy, signaling for another drink.

Tara rubbed at her eyes to vanquish her ever flowing tears. Willy moved to her and filled her mug with the cheapest beer he offered. The blonde lifted the glass and took a gulp.

An expression like she'd eaten a lemon covered her face and an “Ugghhhh!” followed her swallowing of it. She glared at Willy angrily.

“Illud.” She growled and an invisible force filled Willy's arms and legs. He bent down and, while his mouth ran off about how what she's doing wouldn't sit well with the Slayer, grabbed one of the least cheap beers in his bar and placed the bottle in front of her and the force released him.

He huffed and babbled about money being a suitable alliterative to magicing him. The witch didn't pay him any attention as she opened the bottle and downed its contents in 12 seconds.
She waved again and this time Willy didn't try to fib off the cheap crap.

“Hey, mind leaving some for the rest of us, witch?” A scaled demon to her left said. She turned her head to look at the demon who resembled a gutted fish. “Movere.” The demons' stool jerked away from Tara a few feet and scraped the floor.

Willy tried to look tough and pointed a finger at her saying “Alright that's it, I band you from using magic in my establishment, you hear me? No more mag-” The witch interrupted him with a ring of fire erupting around each of them. “Wow, wow, wow. Let's just calm down a little now, okay?” Tara stood from her seat and moved behind the bar, where she grabbed two bottles of the same beer in each hand. The witch then left the bar, Willy protesting all the while.

Tara started drinking from one bottle as she wondered aimlessly down the street. By the time she's downed two bottles a graveyard had appeared around her. She heard a painfully realistic laugh of Willow's.

The witch turned around to find her beloved redhead standing before her. “Okay um,” Willow paused in thought. “dare.” She said with a mischievous smile. Tara found her own voice talk without her permission.

“Aww I had a really good truth.” Tara jokingly complained. “Fine, uh, oh I got. I dare you to put your hair into pigtails.” She said in excitement.

Willow faked disappointment. “Well I would but, I don't have any gosh darn hair ties with me.” Tara reached behind her head and pulled out her own hair tie and said “Not to fear my love. For I have one.” She said chuckling and tossed it to the younger girl.

Willow caught it and put up a pigtail on the left side of her head. “Done.” She said, tilting her head for Tara's approval. “Okay, your turn.” The blonde said.

“Truth or dare?” “Truth.” “Hmm, have you ever,” Willow said slowly. “played strip poker?” Tara shook her head. “Nope, though I have walked in on a game of it. It was mostly guys.” The redhead laughed then said “Truth.”

Tara smiled. “Did you fantasize about me before we started dating?” Willow's cheeks turned pink, and she lightly bit her lower lip. She nodded. “Did you?” Willow asked. “I couldn't get you out of my head. And since at the time all I'd seen of you was you being the only smart person in a Wicca group of wannabes I had to fantasize most of the time.” “Care to tell me about some of these fantasizes?” Willow asked, walking to the blonde.

“Well, there was this one where you asked me where I wanted you to take me and I said I wanted you to take me on a magic-carpet ride.” Willow, who was now merely a step away from Tara, said “And what did I say?” Tara and Willow fell into each others eyes. “You GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”

Tara screamed 'get out of my head' at the hallucination. She threw a bottle at it and it disappeared in a ripple of smoke. Her legs crumpled, and she fell cross-legged to the ground.

Hysteric cries bounded out of her mouth as the insatiable pain of losing her beloved exploded in her again and again. Again and again.

[Big Bads hell]> Willow had given herself the physical strength mightier than that of the Slayer, and was now punching through the heads of hundreds of vampires.

With thousands dusted, the redhead said “Bored now.” and the gray world detonated in a flourish of white lightning and black energy.

Moments later it popped back into existence along with all its inhabitants.

[Earth – Spike's Crypt]> Buffy bounced ferociously on Spike, her fingers digging into his back. Both Slayer and vampire gasped and spasmed before collapsing into one another.

Three seconds passed and Buffy was at it again. “Look Buffy, not that I'm complaining, but how can you want more? We've been going for 4 and a half hours.” The Slayer grabbed a fistful of his white hair and hungrily kissed him. When she pulled away she said “Screw me 'till I forget about being sad.”

She then mouthed his neck like a vampire. He panted then shrugged. “Okay.” Spike wrapped an arm around her waist and grabbed her rear with his other hand before rolling them over.

[Summers House]> “Uh Ahn, honey?” Anya slammed the meat tenderizer down then looked up at her boyfriend. “Yes, what is it Xander?” He stepped into the kitchen tentatively and asked “What are you doing?” “Tenderizing meat.” “What kind of meat?” “Rabbit.” She said like it was a totally normal thing to randomly tenderize rabbit meat, especially since the rabbit was mainly in one peace. And started tenderizing it again.

“Where did you get it?” “The butcher. He'd already removed the skin.” Xander, looking a little relieved that she hadn't stolen it from some kid, asked at last. “Why?”

She slammed the tenderizer down, officially stopping anyone from identifying it at mere sight as a rabbit, and said “Because I know they had something to do with Willow dying. There's no other explanation.” She wiped at her eyes with the end of her left sleeve.

The ex-demon lifted the tool again but Xander caught her arm before it made contact. “Anya.” “Xander they need to pay.” He moved round to her side of the bench and hugged her. Anya buried her head in his shoulder and repeated “They need to pay.”

She started crying and after a moment he suggested they get more rabbits.

[Graveyard]> Tara pulled herself together enough to finish her last bottle before passing out between two graves.

Willow's voice begins again, waking the slumbering witch, but the words aren't familiar. “Tara what are you doing.”

She looks groggily at the redhead. “Stop it. You're not there.” Willow gets on her knees in front of Tara. “It's me Tara, I'm really here.”

The blondes eyes widened and she sprang at the redhead to embrace her in a hug. But went right through her. She spun back to see how she'd gone through her love but the redhead was gone.

[Spike Crypt]> “Buffy!” A voice that the Slayer hadn't heard in so long said. Buffy whipped her head around to find the voices source, Spike did the same.

And they saw her. In a red sweater and a gray-brown skirt. A look of anger, shock, disapproval, and disgust on her face. “Another vampire?” Joyce said disgustedly. “Mom.”

Joyce grimaced, her eyes squeezed shut, and brought a hand to her head. To the left side of her head, where the tumor was. She made a pained noise then fell to the ground. Buffy rushed off Spike and over to her mother, forgetting about her nudity.

“Mom?!?!” She said in a panic as she knelt down by her now motionless mother. The Slayer reached her hands out to grab her shoulders and shake her awake, to perform CPR, to do anything. But her hands met the cold stone of Spike's floor.

Joyce faded to nothing.

Buffy was panting, her eyes wide, and her face as it was when she found her mother's dead body so long ago. Spike was beside her in a second, his confusion at the fantom of his departed soap opera buddy's appearance taking a back seat to his concern for the Slayer.

The blonde put her head in her hands and leant forward enough for the backs of her hands to be touching the floor. She cried, she'd cried so much in the last few months yet she still had tears to be shed. The floor was cold, the air was colder, and her skin was somehow boiled by the cold.

Spike held her, whispering that she's okay, but his words of comfort did nothing to help. Buffy felt broken.

[Graveyard]> “WILLOW?!?!” Tara shrieked to night, her voice cracked and bristling with fear, sorrow, pain, things she'd felt a thousand times over but never before to this extent. The world was off balance and writhed around the witch, but she pushed herself to her feet anyway.

“WILLOW?!?!” She shrieked again. She'd fallen in love with Willow. She'd kissed Willow countless times. She'd held her. She'd made love to her. She'd been hurt by her. She'd seen all sides she thought existed in Willow. She'd seen how she herself had hurt Willow. She'd tried to help her. She'd held her dead body. She'd felt utterly alone without her. But now was the worst.

Willow was gone, there was no chance of getting her back. Yet here she was, Willow had just spoken to her. Tara had just seen her. She was here. But,


just out of reach.

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