The sound

Deaf girl who longs for a sound

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1. Insecurities

       The orange lit  sun awakens me, sprinkling a little happiness into my day. I can feel myself groan, but I cannot hear it. my fingertips dance on my side table next to my bed. I could feel my long fingernails vibrate against it. My fingers slide down the front of the  oak table. The paint has been peeling off the edges, which makes me think....if what I own is fading, am I fading also? I open my mouth as if to speak, and suddenly cringe. " oh yeah."  I think to myself. I cannot hear. For I lost my hearing after the car accident. The accident that I shall remember for the rest of my life. The last time I saw my boyfriend....sulking half the ride because his parents were abusing him like he was shit. He was in the passenger seat. I was on the wheel. It's my fault. I should of been the one to turn..but I got distracted from a text. Crisps of old memories and James haunt me,  but not as bad as the accident I caused.  

     I shake my head, watching my shiny, brown curls bounce around.  Another day of school. Another day of feeling embarrassed with a sighn language communicator following me around. Another (ugh) day. 

   

                       ~                      

       My eyes squint at the mouth of  Mr.Davidson. I make out the words, as well as noticing the shape and texture of his mouth. I notice things now most people don't, like what peoples lips look like when they speak. I notice how people eyes dialate with such emotion. I notice how people's shoulders sag when they are having a bad day, and the patterns of how they walk. I notice....everything. My eyes became my best friend.  In class... The translater makes motions telling me that in order to make a narrative, there must be dialogue. My thoughts rushed wild. Can dialogue be made with hand motions? 

     

 

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