just let me go

holly is in white mountain psychiatric unit. This is her diary.

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1. day 7

I just asked whether I could write, they said no, so I am doing this in secret. It's horrible here. I can't sleep at night and I cry all the time. Dana just looked in my door window and fed back to the others that I was writing, they will kill me slowly if they find out I take any longer. Lauren is allowed to write so I don't understand. Dee is still sitting on me. She has been for ages now. Four years. Four long years. She weighs me down. Turns my skin into steel. I am here on my hard bed being weighed down by Dee and my steel heavy solid body, writing slowly with my bitten bic ultra pen. Blood is pouring down outside in raindrops and the voices are laughing. Gary just told me that I was pointless, so thanks. I feel like crying all the time but I'm probably not ill. I am not ill I just know the plans they have for us. We are just locked up because we understand. It was my choice to be admitted so it should be my choice to get out? I'm so annoyed. Now I can hear laughing but everyone else can too. I was contemplating asking them whether they can hear it too but they will just call me crazy like always. shit.

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