The Truth Hurts (Boyxboy)

This wasn’t supposed to happen. I mean… come on, I am the schools freak. I am best friends with one person. That’s it! And I couldn’t even tell her in fear of her hating me for it. I wasn’t supposed to like him, he wasn’t supposed like me… I’M A FUCKING GUY! WE’RE BOTH GUYS! I don’t understand what happened. The truth hurts…
When sixteen year old Felix Ferne falls in love with his school bully Jake Riles, problems occur when the bully who is also the school’s football star when he decides to return he feelings. They both know they can’t tell anyone, anyone at all. But what happens when someone else’s feelings get hurt in the process.

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7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Jake’s P.O.V

Holy cow Felix is fucking adorable when he sleeps. Oh my god… I think I just turned into a creeper. I’m watching my kinda sorta boyfriend sleep in my arms. Great, I just creeped myself out. I sighed lying back down properly. I had moved before so I could see if Felix really was asleep or not, and so I just spent the last hour looking at Felix’s sleeping face.

I groaned, annoyed that Felix was too fucking cute. Why did I have to fall for someone so cute, but so messed up? People think that this relationship is messed up, and is all about the physical stuff. Well, most of it is physical; we just haven’t had enough time to talk, because whenever we get together, it’s been days since we have actually been able to be alone, so we just go for each other. And the only reason there was days long gaps between our meetings, was because no one knew about us, and it was too suspicious.

“Don’t hurt me… I didn’t do it…” I furrowed my brow as I looked at Felix, whose face was now scrunched up. My eyes widened as I realised, he was having a nightmare. I quickly grabbed his shoulders and began to shake him, but it didn’t work.

“Felix, wake up.” I sighed before leaning down placing my lips on his. His lips froze as they stopped talking, but began moving against mine. I smiled moving so I was half lying on top of him, one of my hands sitting next to his head, holding me up while the other moved to his hip and traced circles on top of his jeans.

Felix groaned finally waking up, one of his hands moved to my neck pulling me closer as it entangled in my hair, while the other moved to grab the hand that was tracing circles on him intertwining them. Using that hand I gripped onto him, as if comforting him from the dream.

“Jake…” he muttered. I smiled continued kissing him cutting him off. I began kissing harder causing Felix to groan and roll us over so he was sitting on top of me. It was my turn to groan, and it was at the feeling of Felix on top of me. I pulled my hand from his and moved both of my hands to grab Felix’s head pulling him impossible closer finally letting my tongue dance across his lower lip, causing the both of us to groan.

Felix slowly opened his mouth letting me in. I smiled which made it nearly impossible to kiss but I managed. After a while Felix started to pull away but I wouldn’t let him. I rolled us back over so he was on the bed again and I moved my lips to his neck, finding his sweet spot and kissing, licking and biting at it.

“Jake… stop.” I shook my head biting down harder causing Felix to groan,

“No seriously Jake… stop.” I frowned and pulled away letting Felix jump up from the bed, his back to me.

“I’ll be right back.” I nodded grimly,

“Yeah…” what the fuck have I just done?

Felix’s P.O.V

I so hope he doesn’t think he messed up… it wasn’t him it was me… I just got too excited… if you catch my drift. I groaned as I hopped up off the floor of the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My cheeks and eyes were bright red matching the new hickey on my neck.

I frowned digging into the bathroom cupboard looking for something I desperately need. When I found the little brown box, I smiled widely… finally… something I have needed to do for hours. I quickly undid the belt of my jeans, allowing me to slide them down so that my hips were visible… sort of.

My hips were riddled with red and white cuts, some old, some new, some healed, some scars. I sighed opening the box and pulling out one of my blades. How my family doesn’t ask what’s in the box I do not know. I smiled again as I looked at the blade,

“Hello old friend…” and with those words, I let the blade meet my skin. I let out a little cry as the blade ran over some of my newer cuts, splitting them open again. I had about seven on each hip before, and now I have at least fifteen. I sighed and lifted up my shirt and looked at my bare stomach, which was also sadly covered in white scars.

I growled at my stomach for it being bare, so I let the blade dance across it seven or eight times. I dropped the blade back in the box with all my other blood riddled blades, before pulling out everything I would need to clean my cuts.

“Felix is everything okay?” I screamed and jumped causing the blood of my cuts to flow again causing me to groan,

“Yeah I’m fine Jake… what do you want?” Jake sighed and I heard the door move. Jake had leaned against the door.

“I was worried about you… I’m sorry about before.” I sighed; my hands resting against the bathroom bench, my cuts finally cleaned and wrapped up.

“Don’t worry about it… it was my entire fault. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have let it happen. I shouldn’t have been asleep. I just…” I growled quickly cleaning up the mess I made before fixing my clothes and ripping the door open.

“It’s all you Jake… you just keep on messing up all the sense of order I have created for myself. My life was fine before we k…” I couldn’t say it.

“Before we kissed,” I sighed and forced myself to look away from Jake. How can I explain anything about me without him hating me? Without myself hating me… I couldn’t… that’s how. I growled suddenly angry again,

“We can’t do this Jake… you need to go. I’ve realised I don’t like you… I never really did. I just pitied you and was freaked out so I went along with it.” That was a complete and total lie… but I had to say something that would hurt him, anything that would hurt him. I turned and looked to Jake, who looked like he was about to collapse to the ground.

“Get out of my house, and get out of my life, Jake Riles. If you ever talk to me again, it will be when you are bullying me and back to your true self.” With that I grabbed Jake’s arms and pushed him out of my house.

I slammed the door shut, and quickly walked into the backyard and into my room, slamming that door shut, and locking it. I quickly pulled all my curtains closed emerging myself in the darkness of my room. That’s when it happened… I burst into tears and ran over to my bed, falling on it, and then falling asleep after a while.

Jake’s P.O.V

No… just no… what we had was real… wasn’t it? I… I thought he liked me… he just… he wouldn’t lie to me would he? It was all fake wasn’t it…? I sighed as I arrived home collapsing on my bed.

“AHHHHHH!” I cried out and burst into tears for the second time since he kicked me out. I grabbed my pillow and began sobbing into it.

Eventually I heard the front door open, and I knew it was mum. But I couldn’t let her see me like this; she already has too much to worry about. I sat up wiping my eyes and cheeks, before standing up and walking out of my room. But I didn’t get very far, mum was waiting outside my door and she pushed me in and back onto my bed.

I watched as she closed the door, before coming and sitting down next to me on my bed. I frowned and went to ask what she was doing, but she cut me off by pulling me close and into one of her mother’s hugs. I smiled and burst into tears, wrapping my arms around her.

“I don… I don’t… kn… know wha… what hap… happened… I thought… I really thought he… he liked… me back,” mum ran her fingers threw my hair and it comforted me.

“Sweetie, sometimes things like this happen. Look at your father and me,” I frowned pulling away from her slightly,

“But Felix wouldn’t… he wanted me to know his secret, but I wouldn’t let… him tell me. I wanted… him to keep… i…t to him… self, so he… still had… part of himself… to himself…” mum grabbed my head sitting it on her lap as she patted my head,

“Oh Jakie… maybe he really wanted you to know.” I shook my head,

“He said he pitied me for liking him, so he just went along with it all. He hates me mum… he never liked me and I fell for it… I fell for him…” there I said it. The boy I have liked for months just turned into the boy I’m in love with… and he hates my guts. I let out a strangled cry at the truth…

“Why him Mum…? Why him?” Mum shrugged,

“You tell me sweetie.” I shook my head.

“I was an asshole to him, he probably just wanted revenge.” Mum sighed,

“Well I don’t believe that for one second.” I frowned sitting up in Mum’s lap.

“What do you mean?” Mum sighed,

“If he took his time to kiss you and talk to you… then it wasn’t all a lie. Maybe he was just scared you didn’t really like him.” I frowned,

“I get where you’re going, but he said the next time I talk to him should be when I’m bullying him next… I don’t… I can’t… why would he…” I couldn’t find the words, as I burst into tears again, moving so I was back on my pillow. I fucking loved him… and now… now he fucking hates me… why me?

Felix’s P.O.V

I was jolted awake by Dad who was standing above me. I frowned as I noticed the keys in his hand.

“I thought I told you to never come in here.” Dad sighed,

“Yeah I know. But I was worried… you had your curtains closed, and now I discover you in your bed… actually sleeping. That hasn’t happened in…” I finished for him,

“In three years.” Dad nodded, before sighing and grabbing my hands as I was now sitting up in bed. I looked to him confused,

“Dad…” he cut me off,

“Felix… what happened with you and Jake?” I bit my lip, my eyes watering up again. And I confessed to him, not caring about my language,

“I fucked up so much, Daddy. I got mad at myself and screwed up by screwing me up, and so I lied to Jake… I told him I pitied him for liking me so I dated him in return… but that’s not true Dad. I was just… so fucking scared because… I almost told him about my anor…” I couldn’t finish the word so I moved on,

“And then I was so scared because I fell Dad… I fell hard for my bully, Jake Riles… I mean how fucked up is that Dad?” Dad frowned,

“Felix I… look son, you need to understand that relationships take work. I know this sounds mean, but sometimes the truth in the relationship hurts, and I take it you being in love with him is what hurts you?” I nodded tears falling from my eyes.

“I hurt him so much Daddy… I’m not going to be able to fix it.” I jumped into his arms crying. Dad looked taken aback, but hugged me like any father would.

“You will fix it Felix… I know you will.” I shook my head, there is no way in hell I will ever be able to fix something like that. I was scared and wasn’t thinking straight… I need to tell him… no… if I tell him about those bad things about me, he won’t want me… my heart hurts, I didn’t want to feel this pain… I need more cuts… I need more, but I have to play this off.

“Was there anything else you wanted?” I asked pulling away from the hug. Dad’s eyes widened and he nodded,

“Umm yeah, dinners ready. So come inside when you’re ready.” I nodded and stood up with Dad. I stood still as I watched Dad head to the door, when I stopped him.

“Dad,” I quickly muttered. He turned around to look at me,

“Yeah son?” I frowned, biting my lip,

“I’m sorry.” Dad frowned,

“For what?” my frowned grew and I felt tears growing at the corners of my eyes,

“For everything… this right now, Oscar, my an… my disorder… everything,” Dad frowned,

“Felix, there something I need to tell you,” I nodded,

“What is it?” I was worried now, but I couldn’t let Dad notice.

“Don’t be.” I frowned confused,

“What do you mean?” Dad smiled grimly,

“I said, don’t be sorry. None of that is your fault, it’s all just circumstance.” I nodded,

“Okay, Dad.” I watched as he smiled at me and walked out of my room, leaving the door open as he went. I sighed collapsing on my bed; I need to fix things with Jake… I have to.

I quickly jumped up from my bed, pulling on my shoes and running out of my room, slamming my door shut on the way. I quickly ran into the house where my family were sitting at the table eating dinner.

“I have to go do something, I’ll be back later.” Dad nodded and Mum went to go refuse but Dad grabbed her wrist telling her ‘no’. He nodded to me as I bolted out of the house not stopping till I reached Jake’s house…

I froze when I finally arrived in front of his house. Why am I doing this again? Oh yeah, I fucked up and I need to fix it… I need Jake. He was fixing me… and now I hurt him, I need to fix it, if he doesn’t hate me… fuck my heart hurts.

I sighed closing my eyes, catching my breath as I walked up the short driveway to Jake’s front door. When I was at the door, I raised my hand and lightly knocked. I waited and waited when the door finally opened, and there stood Jake’s Mum Sarah.

Sarah’s dirty blonde hair was tied back into a ponytail, her eyes screamed ‘I need sleep’ but I could tell she couldn’t sleep. I bit my lip frowning at her,

“Hi… Sarah, I’m Felix… I need to talk to Jake.”

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