The Truth Hurts (Boyxboy)

This wasn’t supposed to happen. I mean… come on, I am the schools freak. I am best friends with one person. That’s it! And I couldn’t even tell her in fear of her hating me for it. I wasn’t supposed to like him, he wasn’t supposed like me… I’M A FUCKING GUY! WE’RE BOTH GUYS! I don’t understand what happened. The truth hurts…
When sixteen year old Felix Ferne falls in love with his school bully Jake Riles, problems occur when the bully who is also the school’s football star when he decides to return he feelings. They both know they can’t tell anyone, anyone at all. But what happens when someone else’s feelings get hurt in the process.

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6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Jake’s P.O.V

Trent sniggered from next to me. God it was so hard to get that note to Felix, I had to stop myself from smiling when he nodded. I knew he was agreeing instantly. I turned to Trent to see what he was laughing at. I didn’t actually know so I just fake laughed along, but as if they could tell the difference from my real and fake laugh.

God multitasking was hard. For one, I was actually listening to the teacher; I really don’t want to fail year ten. The next one was pretending to be paying attention to Trent and Dylan. And of course finally, if it weren’t obvious, was watching Felix from the corner of my eye.

Felix was so cute when he was in class. I watched slightly more intensely as he took his notes, watching as he bit down on his snake bites… weird, he didn’t have them in earlier. Actually, he hasn’t had them in for weeks… yes I am that creepy; I know how long it’s been since he last had his snake bites in. Oh what it would be like to kiss him with those in. I have always wanted to actually know if kissing someone with lip piercings made the kiss hotter. I am hoping I get to find out. I just never thought it would be a guy, not that I care

But moving on, I watched as he let go of the first lip ring, moving onto the second one, leaving the first one glistening in the light of the room, I sighed before looking away before I got overly distracted by Felix. I knew if I didn’t stop now, I would be having a lot more problems, and I really don’t need that in class.

Trent nudged making my attention turn to him; I frowned when I saw what he wanted me to see. It was Mike all covered in food and his unicorns were taken from him. How the teacher didn’t notice this I do not know. I ‘laughed’ again before turning away not wanting to see anything. I can’t believe I used to be that mean, oh well, at least this is the last class of the day and I can hang out with Felix more.

The time came when the final bell rang letting us out of this hellhole. I smiled but hid it well when I saw Felix talking to Sam, I so hope they get along well. Does he know about Sam’s situation? I looked and saw Felix looking to Andy… okay I take that as a yes. Felix looked back to Sam nodding, before walking off. I continued walking with Trent and Dylan, still not fully paying attention to them.

“Look, I’ll see you later yeah?” I quickly asked Trent and Dylan knowing that that wasn’t going to see them anyway. The pair nodded, not even giving me a glance before running off and chasing after some poor kid. I can’t believe that if I never liked Felix, I would be doing that with them right now… weird. I sighed as I slowly walked until the school slowly emptied out. I walked to my locker which evidentially was just a few away from Felix’s.

By the time I made it to my locker Felix was already leaning on it, his usual black bag, sitting on his shoulder and face blank. I sighed at the way he looked, why isn’t he showing emotion around me like he normally does?

“Hey Jake,” I nodded smiling widely hoping he would do the same, but it never happened. I quickly came over grabbing his shoulders before pulling me into his arms. Felix instantly froze,

“What are you doing Jake?” I sighed holding him tighter,

“I’m hugging you Felix. Isn’t it obvious?” Felix nodded,

“I just don’t think this is something to do at school.” I smiled at him letting go of him as he moved away from me.

“I don’t really care about the whole image thing. I like you Felix; I’m waiting for you to get that, but…” I trailer off after I saw the look on Felix’s face,

“You care if we get caught; you don’t want people to know do you?” Felix froze looking up to me. He stared into my eyes, before frowning,

“I just… look it doesn’t matter. I… let’s just go,” I nodded grabbing my bag and locking my locker.

“So how was your afternoon?” I asked. Felix shrugged,

“Fine I guess. It was weird seeing Ellen, and then having to sit next to Sam. Plus I know he knows, and I guess I just… if we hang out too much I’m scared people will notice.” My eyes widened and I grabbed his wrist since he was walking a few paces ahead of me.

“Felix I don’t care if people find out about us.” Felix scoffed,

“Of course you do. All you care about is image, the same as everyone else in this school.” I rolled my eyes, pulling Felix close to me. He was expecting it and fought against me; I smirked and pushed him against the wall, trapping his arms next to his body.

“Felix… I don’t care about image, I don’t care if a teacher was to walk past us right now and catch us. Whatever you are thinking, is all in your head, and as awesome as it is to have you thinking about me, I don’t want you having those negative thoughts blocking you from being with me.” Felix scoffed looking for a way out, just like the first time I held him like this,

“I don’t believe you Jake. Because I trust me and only me, I know I am right.” He muttered something under his breath but I was close enough to hear it this time,

“… Because I lie to myself every time I wake up.” I gasped, gripping Felix’s wrists tighter,

“Felix… Why do you lie to yourself?” Felix froze,

“Fucker…You weren’t supposed to hear that.” I scoffed,

“Yeah…Well I heard it, and I want you to answer my question.” Felix whimpered and stared at me with sad eyes, as if hoping I would give in and drop it. But I couldn’t, not right now, I needed to know. Felix sighed giving up, before looking down,

“I lie to myself every morning because…” I encouraged him as let my grip on him loosen just the tiniest bit.

“…Because I need it to get through the day, every day. I say ‘don’t worry, you don’t need to eat… you’ll be fine.’ I just…” he trailed off as tears began running down his face. I was confused,

“Felix…What do you mean you don’t need to eat?” Felix sighed before burying his face in my neck as much as he could. I let go of his wrists and he wrapped his arms around my neck. He sighed before pulling away enough that he could talk to me.

“Pull my shirt up.” I frowned,

“What?” Felix sighed before pulling away from me, and pulling up his top shirt which then showed a long-sleeve tucked into his jeans. He quickly untucked it and placed the bottom of it in my hand. Tears were still running down his face,

“You want to know what’s wrong. Pull it up and find out.” I squeezed the shirt in my hand and slowly pulled it up. It was now sitting above his belt line and was slowly moving up his hips. I froze; no I can’t do this to him. I quickly let go of his shirt and stepped away.

“No… I know you truly don’t want me to know, and so I won’t. Keep me in the dark as long as you like, but when you think the time comes, tell me… and I will believe you. Just take as long as you like,” Felix looked up to me, his eyes glistening with tears, but a smile on his face,

“You don’t care?” I nodded,

“I do care, but I am doing what you want and leaving it alone. I don’t want to get kicked out like last time.” Felix laughed, grabbing my neck and pulling me close, placing his lips on mine. I smiled and kissed back slowly, not letting it go anywhere from there. Felix tried but I kept on stopping him and not letting him move. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone… I so hope that isn’t Trent or Dylan.

“Felix, are you okay with us getting caught?” I muttered into the kiss. Felix nodded,

“I guess… it just depends on who it is.” I nodded pulling away,

“Good… because someone’s here.” Felix’s eyes widened and he pulled away from me as much as possible. We both looked to see Mr Bates standing a few metres away from us, staring at us… oh crap… but at least it wasn’t Dylan or Trent.

“Mr Bates… we urr… we can explain.” Bates shook his head,

“I am not even going to comment, on this situation, but I will give you some advice, don’t keep it a secret… It’s too cute.”  We both froze… Felix spoke first,

“Please god, don’t ever… say that again… it’s just… way too creepy.” Bate nodded,

“Oh course, I’m just saying don’t keep it a secret.” We both nodded slowly and watched Bates as he walked away.

“That was weird.” I nodded agreeing with my gothic boy,

“You’re right, that was really weird.” Felix nodded in agreement with me as I did him. I sighed turning back to Felix who was still looking down hallway. I smiled, grabbing his chin and pecking him on the lips before grabbing his wrist and pulling him down the hallway,

“Come on; let’s go back to your place… we need to talk.” I said in a joking voice so I was hoping he would understand I was making a joke. Felix laughed lightly before walking at a pace that was level with mine.

Felix’s P.O.V

I can’t believe I almost let Jake know my biggest secret. I can’t believe I almost told him about my anorexia… if Jake knew about it, then he really wouldn’t want to be with me. I only had anorexia because I wanted control in my life after Oscar’s accident, so whenever I was hungry, I distracted myself by doing housework. I was fine, until one day I collapsed, and Mum found me. I told her it was nothing and that I slipped over and hit my head, but she didn’t believe me. And so that’s how I ended up diagnosed with anorexia, I got a little better after some time… but my body didn’t change back, and there are days where I still don’t eat.

“So what are we going to do when we get back to your place?” I looked to Jake who was staring at me, a light smile on his face. I shrugged and pulled my hand from his, fixing my bag and shoving my hands in my coat.

“I see you put your snake bites back in.” I nodded and looked away,

“I didn’t think you would know what they were called.” Jake shrugged,

“Let’s just say I know more than you think, and I am very good at eavesdropping in conversations, mainly your conversations.” I felt my cheeks flare up bright red. I growled at him before ripping my hand from my pocket and shoved it back into his big hand. I never knew how big his hands were, but now I do. My own hands swim when in his. He wrapped his fingers around my hand, and pulling it close to his body, I followed, my body bumping against his.

“Sorry.” I muttered. Jake looked confused,

“Felix. Are you okay? You’ve been acting really weird lately; you have really been showing me much emotion. And please don’t lie to me.” I sighed looking into his eyes.

“It’s just… there’s a part of me, that I almost forced you to see, and I didn’t want you to, because I was scared you would hate me for it… and so now I just keep on thinking of what would have happened if I showed you…” Jake cut me off.

“If I really truly wanted to know, and you didn’t want me to know. I would never ever push you… that is why I stopped Felix. And when the time comes you want to show me, and I mean you want. Not me, not your parents, not anyone else, you… when you want to show me, I will be there and I will not hate you for it okay?” he muttered something else under his breath, I couldn’t hear him, but I was too happy to care.

“I… I can’t believe you said that. I…” I wanted to say something but there was too much to say, so I pulled Jake down onto my lips, in the middle of the street. I so hope he gets the message. Jake tried to pull away, but the grip I had on his neck was too strong.

“Felix… we’re in the middle of the street.” I nodded,

“Yeah I know Jake… that’s why I’m doing this.” Jake gasped.

“You want to?” I nodded. Jake smiled pushing himself back onto me, his tongue instantly invading my mouth. I groaned as he pushed me up against the nearest car, his arms wrapping tight around my waist. One of my hands made it into his hair, while the other sat on his shoulder. Jake groaned pushing harder, causing me to groan again.

“OH MY GOD!” we pulled away from each other to see a small crowd standing near us. Most of the group consisted of teenagers from our school, and adults from around the area. But what stood out most were Ellen and Mia, who were standing at the very front of the group. It was obvious that Ellen was the one that called out. Both Jake and I sighed and moved away from the car. I knew I was blushing hard and it was obvious,

“Look Ellen… we urr…” I really didn’t know what to say, and I am really hoping Jake doesn’t turn on me right now. Jake grabbed my hand with his,

“Look everyone… I know this looks weird but Felix and I are together.” Everyone gasped and Ellen growled,

“Felix, why didn’t you tell me?” I frowned moving closer too Jake, although Ellen was small, she was really terrifying.

“It only started the day you ran off. It’s confusing for everyone, and Jake and I don’t fully understand where this is going… we haven’t really talked about it much,” Ellen scoffed,

“Yeah, it just looks like making out and nothing else. That probably all it is, you two just kiss each other and never talk. If we were together Felix, we would always talk.” My eyes widened and I took a step back. Jake growled,

“Well he isn’t with you Ellen and he never will be… he is mine, not yours, if you ever think that he was ever or ever will be yours, you won’t ever be happy. Just move on and find someone who will love you for who you are...” Ellen had tears in her eyes, and she looked at me creepily,

“Are you saying you love me? Is that why you’re being so nice to me?” Jake’s eyes widened and took a step back with me,

“No I am not in love with you, and I will never love you I love Felix.” I froze, and Mia ‘aww’ I stared at her… what the hell? Ellen turned to glare at Mia. Mia froze,

“Sorry, but that’s cute… or not.” Mia trailed off at Ellen’s glare. I quickly leaned into Jake,

“Run?” Jake nodded and we turned bolted. It was hard for me at first but I soon shook the pain away as we ran towards my house. When it was finally in view, we slowed down and walked.

“That was fucking creepy.” I muttered, Jake nodded,

“Yeah… what was up with Ellen? Did you know she liked you?” I nodded,

“Yeah, the day we first you know…” I trailed off not really knowing what to say or call it,

“The first day we kissed?” I nodded,

“Yeah, then… Ellen and I had just walked into school, when you walked straight past us, and I commented on how weird it was because you didn’t do anything. And she started acting all weird, and ditched me. That’s when we talked… somewhat normally, and then I saw her at my locker, and she was pissed because I ditched her. And then I told her it wasn’t me that ditched, it was her. And then she vanished and I didn’t see her again until this morning where she took her seat next to me in class. We only talked a little bit, but then we didn’t talk after a whole bunch of confusing things. Because of obvious reasons,” Jake nodded,

“You are talking about the whole, being ‘normal’ again yeah?” I let out a little laugh as we arrived at my driveway. We started up when I answered,

“Yeah I am. I just don’t understand, not that I really know much. But why would someone change themselves, for someone? I don’t get it, not to sound rude, but I would never change for you Jake.” Jake laughed as we finally reached my bedroom,

“Well I would never want you to change. You are my Felix, and if you were any other way, I don’t think it would be the same.” I blushed and slid opened my door, allowing Jake to enter first. I quickly followed and saw Jake heading towards my bed, which I still hadn’t be on or in since the last time we were on it together.

I frowned slowly walking over. Why the bed… couldn’t we just talk on the couch like normal people? I resisted to growl, I don’t like going on my bed, why can’t he see I don’t like my bed? Jake looked at me sadly,

“I know you haven’t been anywhere near it Felix, but it’s good for you. You can’t live your life sleeping on the couch, but only getting two or three hours sleep anyway. And I know you have been getting less sleep lately.” I frowned, looking far away and I subconsciously covered my eyes with my hair. The rings under my eyes were the only obvious ways one could tell that I was lacking sleep.

“It’s not just that Jake. I just can’t get to sleep, not anymore.” Jake frowned, but then smirked. He moved to stand right next to me, where he grabbed my hand pulling me to the bed.

“Well then I guess that is what we are going to do.” I was confused as hell,

“Jake what do you mean?” Jakes smirk grew. As he pulled back the blankets on my bed, and set the pillows up all without letting go of me.

“Jake what are you doing?” Jake stopped his actions and turned to me.

“Felix. Right here and right now, we are going to sleep in this bed. You need it Felix,” I frowned knowing he was right. He was always right,

“When did you become so wise?” Jake smiled,

“I think it’s a natural thing.” I laughed as Jake pulled me so I was now standing right next to the bed. He gestured for me to get in first, I sighed knowing he was not going to give this up. I let go of his hand, and slowly moved into the bed, the softness of the mattress freaking me out. I quickly lay down, Jake soon following me.

Jake pulled the covers over us and pulled me close. I tensed up and tried to move away, but Jake kept his grip on me tight. I knew there was no chance of me getting away, so I gave in. our legs intertwined and our shoes were probably the most annoying things in the world. I growled sitting up slightly and pushing the blankets off.

“Felix what are you doing?” I rolled my eyes,

“I am taking these bloody shoes off. Take yours off too,” Jake eyes widened and we sat up together, taking our shoes off,

“I didn’t even notice.” I laughed at him as he blushed,

“I kind of guessed that, but hey, I don’t mind, it’s cute.” Jake blushed even more reminding me of the last time I called him cute. Once all shoes were removed we lay back down, our legs intertwining again, but this time it was comfortable, I soon felt sleep falling over me. I groaned and moved in closer to Jake, whose warm body was blocking out the unusual feeling of coldness. I smile blessed my lips, and soon… I was asleep in my bed, for the first time in three years.

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