The "Ultimate Student Cookbook"

The "Ultimate Student Cookbook" will tell you exactly what you will need for university life.

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1. Bachelor Degree

EASY!

Serves 1

1 Student

2 blissfully proud and unaware parents

1 PC and/or Laptop, (price range between £500-£2,000)

1 7' bed, cripplingly single

4 plug sockets

1 light

1 childproof window

add a sprinkling of pressure

a teaspoon of introductory conversations

3 teaspoons of loneliness

2 heaped tablespoons of anxiety

a term of isolation

a cup of depression

half a bottle of any spirit

2 packs of unused razor blades (two for one deal)

And, of course, the main ingredient, £15,688

(subject to how much your parents make and how long you last.)

 

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