bisexual • muke

in which a boy with hair of the coloured variety and a blond fall in love, one of them questioning their sexuality.

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7. 7 • cyberbully mom club

michael clifford

"how do you tell a girl you really like her eyes?" jayden asked while we watched american horror story on netflix. he slumped down and bit into another potato chip.      

i raise an eyebrow at him, "why are you asking?"               

he shrugs it off and doesn't speak to me after that. i take out my phone and open the safari app, typing into google, "how do you tell a girl you really like her eyes?".

jayden throws a chip at me. i pick it up and put it into my mouth and he hits me with a pillow.

"what are you doing, man?"

"googling your question, obviously."

"that's so stupid."

"google has everything," i argue.

when the results come up (jayden's apartment has really crappy wifi), i see that there's not really an answer to his question. one thing i do see, though, is something that says "cyberbully mom club". thinking it's some weird kink or anti-cyberbullying website, i click on the link. it takes me to a page on soundcloud, and apparently, it's a band. their song, how do you tell a girl you really like her eyes?, is supposedly an indie, chill-ish song.

when i press the play button, i expect it to be something stupid. but it's not. at all.

there's guitar and vocals and when i finish the song (completely amazed), i feel like i should just flash a bunch of peace signs at jayden.

 

sometimes i smoke cigarettes. well, not sometimes, practically all the time. and i know it's bad to smoke and i'm filling my lungs with this disastrous air, but it calms me down from my worries.

i know i can't run away from away from my problems, but i do anyways.

like, for example, what i am with luke. i hate kissing him, because it makes me feel guilty. like he thinks we're "friends with benefits", which is something i don't want him to think.

"luke?" i call on his cell.

"yeah?" he groggily replies, probably just waking up.

immediately, i think of backing out. "oh sorry, were you asleep? because we can talk later if you want, it's no trouble, lets just talk later-"

"i can talk now," he quickly says before i hang up, resulting in me staying in the call.

i gulp, "great, uh.. let's meet at the diner."

"sure, see you then."

an awkward silence falls in between us, and i'm not sure if i should hang up, say goodbye, or what. i'm pretty sure luke doesn't know either.

"goodbye luke."

"goodbye michael."

 

luke hemmings

i don't think i've ever been this nervous.

what does he want to talk about? us? what am i supposed to say? are we actually together? will he break up with me? god, we're probably not even together anyways. i kind of wish calum were secretly here. he would know exactly what to say. he has everything under control. i envy it. i wish i was like him.

i wait nervously at the booth, with my hands folded. i unfold them. and then i fold them again. and then i get up from my seat. and then back down again. and then i think about waiting outside. eventually, michael walks in, and i have no idea what to do.

 

calum hood

ashton's been avoiding me ever since the day i've kissed him. i still can't believe he was awake, or even noticed, for that matter. and well maybe i've been avoiding him too.       

look out your window

a text from ashton reads (the first one in a week).

i look out my window, my bedroom window that is, and see ashton outside. he bites his lip and looks up at me awkwardly, waving. damn ashton, always waving, being polite and all.

'can i come up?' he mouths, and i shake my head.

i don't want to talk to him.

but it's too late. even after i say no, he's already climbing up. when he climbs through the window, he ducks his head down to fit in and stands up, facing me.

i shake my head, "you can't- you can't be here."

he sighs, "come on, calum. the least you can do look me in the eye." i still refuse to look at him directly, as i'm looking at the ground.

i don't reply, having him say, "look, i.. i saw this girl over the weekend-"

"oh god," i groan. "i should've known. i mean, even girls are attracted to you. you're just- you're just so-" i don't finish the sentence.

"what? what am i, calum?"

frustratingly, i cross my arms. "nothing. forget about it."

"what-"

"dammit, ashton, just forget."

this time it's his turn not to speak.

"do you know how i feel, knowing that the person i've loved for so long doesn't like me back? and is dating a girl? what even is your sexuality, anyway? confusexual?"

wow, nice job, calum. what a horrible attempt at a comeback.

ashton speaks up, "i didn't do anything with her." he takes a step toward me, putting his finger under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. "i didn't kiss her, or hold hands with her, because i kept thinking about you."

he leans into kiss me, and for a moment, i kiss back. i break away from it after and hug him tightly, and he hugged back.

i was just happy to be in his arms.

--a/n--

ugh i rly want to start a new story and i have a good idea for it, but i feel like i'm writing too much or you guys won't read it. should i? it's gonna be called drunk text romance.

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