bisexual • muke

in which a boy with hair of the coloured variety and a blond fall in love, one of them questioning their sexuality.


5. 5 • empty space

luke hemmings

michael, ashton, calum, and i sat at our lunch table on monday. how dare monday even has the nerve to call itself a day. sunday sucked, and it would've been really nice to have an extra day away from all the chaos.

"my friends and i might go to a concert after school," michael informed me. "wanna come? we'd like to have you there."

i shake my head, "no thanks. i'm.." i pull the sleeves of my sweater down to cover my hands. "i'm busy. it's a family dinner night thing."

he nods, "understood. maybe another time."

"i'm gonna go throw this away," i say, standing up, trashing my food and walking into the bathroom.


michael clifford

when luke leaves the table, calum and ashton look at me strangely. calum raises an eyebrow at me, as if expecting me to do something.

ashton sighs, "what did you do to the kid?"

"nothing!" i exclaim.

"nothing?" calum scoffs. "did you see how nervous he was talking to you? he walked away from the table, mikey."

i swallow my food, "it's just a table. seriously guys, i don't know why you're freaking out. he hung out with my other friends once."

"you took him to see those punks? michael, are you that stupid?," ashton says, flicking my forehead with his fingers.

i shrug, "yeah, i did. it's not that big of a deal."

calum speaks, "when luke came to see us practice the other day, and ashton and i left.. you two didn't..?"

my eyes widen and i shake my head rapidly. "no, calum thomas hood, we did n-"

"do what?" luke says from behind me and sitting back down again.

"nothing," i assure.

the bell rings, and i peck luke's cheek quickly, leaving calum and ashton shocked.


luke hemmings

when the day finally ends, i sneak down to the basement. i really feel like playing guitar, but no one in my family does. i think i saw a guitar downstairs, so i go there to play. but instead, i find jack down there instead. he's picking the guitar, playing an unfamiliar soft melody with the strings.

"since when do you play guitar?" i ask, and he jumps.

jack quickly sets the guitar down gently back on its stand.

"i don't."

the guitar sits on the stand, and it's killing me just seeing it there. i pick it up, sitting in the chair in front of him.

"yes, you do. i just saw you play."

jack says nothing, which i accept from him.

"can i..?" his hands reach out for the guitar, but i pull it away from him. "nope. you're not getting this unless you admit to playing guitar."

he slumps back on the guitar, grumbling and crossing his arms like a little kid. he mumbles words that i can't exactly quite make out.

"this is crap.." he finally sighs. "yes, i play guitar."

"i knew it!" i smile, exclaiming at him. "why didn't you tell me?"

he shrugs, "i like playing guitar, but mum wants me to focus on my job and college and such. it's hard when i don't want to do all of those things. please don't tell."

i nod, "of course, yeah, your secret's safe with me."

jack smiles, ruffling up my quiffed hair and now making it messy and bed-like.

"thanks, lucas."

and then he walks away, leaving me with the guitar in my hands.


calum hood

ashton lays down on the opposite side of the bed and i'm on the other. our feet are touching, and i try not to smile. i wish he would just lay down by me instead of being so.. spacey. i don't know the word for it. distance? maybe.

doesn't he know how much i like him? mikey jokes about it all the time. and he must notice me staring so much. i mean, you can't blame me. everybody stares at ashton irwin.

"ashton," i say, moving my feet against his and trying to get his attention.

he looks up from his phone. "yeah?"

"um.." i bite my lip, glancing at the empty space right beside me. "wanna lay down next to me? only if you want to, though."

he shrugs again, looking back at his phone. idiot.

"so do you, uh-" god, why am i being so nervous? i've known ashton for the longest time, so why now?

"yeah sure," he replies, cuddling next to me.

before i know it, he's fallen asleep. at least i think so. he better be. but he looks so cute and calm and innocent while asleep. it's impossible to resist him. i brush my lips against his and kiss him softly, praying to god that he's still asleep.

his eyes flutter open, and he flinches back from me when he realizes what i've done.

"what are you doing, hood?"

i blink once or twice, avoiding eye contact with him. "i was just.." i shrug, trying to make things less tense. "i like you, ashton."

we're both looking at each other in the eye by now, but he looks almost sad. i know where this is going. "i'm sorry, calum, but i'm not.."

"what?" i furrow my eyebrows. "not gay? not single? just tell me."

he shakes his head, "it's not that, but.. i don't know. we've known each other our whole life, you know? i just..." he stands up from the bed, placing his hand on the doorknob. "i need time to think about this, calum."

before i can even say goodbye, ashton is gone.


i'm cashton af right now.


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