How Each Star Wars Film Could Have Ended

Funny alternate endings I made up for each Star Wars movie, in order. I'm not saying I wish it ended this way, but in some cases I can see why you might.

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3. Revenge Of The Sith

The duel in the Senate had reached its end, but the duel on Mustafar continued. Even with both contestants standing on a droid and a square of metal, the epic battle between Obi-Wan and Darth Vader continued. That is, until Obi-Wan made a soaring leap in the air and landed on the high bank of a lava river.

"It's over, Anakin!" he said, looking down at Vader. "I have the high ground."

"You underestimate my cocky overconfidence!" Darth Vader replied angrily.

"Don't try it," Obi-Wan warned.

Vader lunged at his former Master, but Obi-Wan swung fast and took his legs, as well as his remaining arm. Vader screamed as his limp form rolled to the ground.

"You were the Chosen One!" said Obi-Wan as Vader's torso caught fire. "It was said you would destroy the Sith, not join them. Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!" He paused and turned his head. "Well, it's a long way back. I guess I'll just leave you here to smolder in agony."

He left Vader to burn, but then stopped short halfway across the bank. "What am I doing? With today's technology the Empire could have you fixed up by suppertime."

He walked over, ignited his lightsaber, and beheaded his burned foe. Then he used his lightsaber to prod his headless corpse into the lava, where it melted and washed away in the current. "Couldn't have you terrorizing the galaxy for the next 20 years."

***

Later, Emperor Palpatine and a subway of shock troopers flew to Mustafar. When they arrived, they searched the lava bank for Darth Vader's burned body, but found nothing. "There's no sign of his body, sir," said the commander. "We've searched the entire area."

"Search the area again, Commander," the Emperor replied immediately. The shock troopers headed off again. But any Force-driven insight could show him the truth--his apprentice was dead, and the Empire soon to follow.

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