How Each Star Wars Film Could Have Ended

Funny alternate endings I made up for each Star Wars movie, in order. I'm not saying I wish it ended this way, but in some cases I can see why you might.


6. Return Of The Jedi

After being goaded by Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader, Luke ignited his lightsaber and attacked with incredible ferocity and speed. Sparks flew as Luke dueled Darth Vader in the cramped area they were in. Luke kept swinging, forcing Vader to retreat out from under the dais until they reached the short bridge extending above the reactor shaft. And then a glancing blow ruptured Vader's life suit, knocking him over and leaving him defenseless to a hand chop from Luke.

Luke was about to shiak Vader with his glowing weapon when he saw Palpatine come down and congratulate him. He realized he was doing exactly what the evil ruler wanted him to do. The Emperor wanted him to avenge his hand loss and kill his own father. "Never!" he said, and flung his lightsaber into the shaft. "I'll never turn to the dark side."

The Emperor scowled.

"You've failed, your Highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me."

With a frown of clear displeasure, the Emperor said, "So be it...Jedi. If you will not be turned, you will be destro--"

Suddenly, Dora the Explorer showed up behind Palpatine. "Emperor, no electrocuting! Emperor, no electrocuting! Emperor, no electrocuting!" she said loudly.

"Oh, man!" said Palpatine, lowering his hands.


"Screw you!" he screamed as he ignited his lightsaber. Dora took off and ran around the throne room like a headless chicken, with the Emperor in close pursuit.

Finally, Palpatine came into range. Just as he was about to swing his red blade at the obnoxious explorer, Dora ran blindly into a reactor shaft. The Emperor tore after her and fell in as well. Both were dead.

Vader and Luke watched them plummet to their deaths. "But what will I do about my hand?" he asked Luke. "And you your lightsaber?"

"Don't worry," said Luke. "I can always fly to Illum and make another one. And I'm sure the Rebels will have a mechnohand replacement for you."

"I'm sorry for being so mean," said Vader. "Do you think the Rebels will let me join them?"

"I don't see why not," said Luke.

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