How Each Star Wars Film Could Have Ended

Funny alternate endings I made up for each Star Wars movie, in order. I'm not saying I wish it ended this way, but in some cases I can see why you might.


2. Attack Of The Clones

Inside the Geonosian arena, the Jedi were surrounded by a ring of droids. After Dooku spake, the droids cocked their guns and the Jedi prepared to fight to the death, when suddenly a battalion of clones arrived!

The legendary Jedi Master Yoda led them from inside the central gunship. "Around the survivors, a perimeter create," he ordered.

"I'm sorry, Yoda. Could you repeat that?" asked Commander Bly from inside the ship's cockpit. "I did not copy that."

Yoda tried to enunciate as he repeated his order.

"I'm sorry, did you say, 'Around the survivors, we must incinerate?"

Yoda paused before replying, "Incinerate them..."

Bly's copilot nodded and pushed a button. Laserfire erupted all around the helpless Jedi.

" must not!" Yoda finished.

"Yoda, what the f**k?" Bly asked. Below them, Padme and the Jedi screamed in pain as explosions filled the arena.

Later, Yoda led the clones against the droid armies. Even without the other Jedi, they made quick progress, much to the shock of Count Dooku and Nute Gunray.

Finally, Bly lowered the binoculars he was using and spoke to Yoda. "The droid army is in full retreat."

"Very good, commander," Yoda replied. "Very good. A ship, you must bring me."

"'Around the survivors, we must incinerate. Incinerate them, we must not,'" Bly recited. "Where do you think we are? Happy Town?"

"Happy Town sacked!" Yoda replied angrily. "Like your mother."

"That's it, get off my ship!" Bly shouted with equal annoyance.

Yoda grunted as he stepped off the ledge. "F**k you up for this one day, I will," he warned.

Bly didn't care. "Never mind that," he told the others. "He's just a little rag doll."

And then Yoda left in Bly's gunship. "Hey! Come back here!" the clone commander shouted. But Yoda was already on his way to fight Count Dooku. Because there were no Jedi to topple a crane on, Dooku was helpless and Yoda was able to defeat him.

As a result, the Clone Wars never began.

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