Above Us Only Sky

Imagine there's no heaven...

Tom has lots of time on his hands when he falls ill, he looks back at his short life, contemplating and try to fathom out what went wrong in his world when everything comes crashing down.

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10. Chapter Ten

There was a serenity about me, as though the storm that had been raging around me had dispersed and calm had broken through, rather like being caught in the eye of the hurricane. I was walking through a field, the sun high above warming my body. In the distance I could hear sheep gently bleating. I could smell the rapeseed in the surrounding fields, it’s pungent aroma filling my lungs with it’s headiness.

I crossed the road and entered the park. The bird song was really uplifting as if it were a choral symphony filling my head raising my spirits. Across the grass I spotted my flower child. She smiled at me and waved.  I could make out a radio in the distance playing ‘Sky Full of Stars’ by Coldplay, the words reverberating in my head.I ran across the short distance across to her yelling her name. We embraced, I felt her delicate body next to mine, the smell of her sweet odour in my nose as I nuzzled her hair. 

All the tensions of the past weeks just melted away, here I was at peace with my flower child. We were together, talking like we used to, the little nuances that we had with each other to the front. I looked into her beautiful eyes, stroked her cheek with my fingers. Looking up she smiled and my heart beat faster, everything else cut out and I felt so happy. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I leant in to kiss her lips. The past few weeks melted away and I was back with my flower child, all was right in the world.

Except it wasn’t. Even though I was focussed on her, I started to notice everything getting colder, At first it was just a little shiver, a minor discomfort, but gradually I felt a cool wind blowing through my hair. I held my flower closer than ever soaking up the little warmth that she gave out. For some reason she seemed to get hotter. I struggled to hold on to her. I felt as though I was stabbed, a pain right through my lower abdomen stinging me.

I pulled away from my flower and bend over double. The sky suddenly turned dark, night coming like an express train entering a tunnel, one moment sun, the next blackness. The stabbing continued and I slumped onto the floor, pain once again enveloping my body. I looked up to see my flower stood above me watching carefully. I reached up for her comfort, straining, needing the reassurance only she could give.

A hand appeared on her shoulder and started pulling away. She took one last look down at me and turned away. Maybe for a fraction of a second I sensed a hesitation but couldn’t be sure. I watched from the flow as she took someone’s hand and wandered off, the light she had taken away, leaving me alone and in darkness. Suddenly the pain erupted again, the tress around me bursting spontaneously into flames, the heat in my body rapidly going from cold to hot to unbearable. 

Abruptly the light in my world flickered out as though the room had been vacated and the light extinguished. I lay writhing in agony, my body burning with heat. Then I felt nothing, everything dissipated leaving me with nothing, a clear mind. Then even that went and there was dark and blankness.

Eventually I woke up back in the hospital bed. Four days had passed whilst my body had fought another infection. The journey to the south east was just a distant memory. I struggled to work out what was real and what was dreams, the edges blurred and melting into one. 

It was a few days before I made it home, promising that I would take things steadier from now on. If it happened again it might be the end. When it’s put like that, then you take more notice. 

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