Insomnia

Lynn is a girl who's lucky enough to be best friends with the four boys, Michael, Ashton, Luke, and Calum. She's very special to each of them and they all love her deeply. Some more than others. Why don't you check it out? :)

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8. 8

I was so frustrated but I didn't stop. I knew I should have but I didn't. A part of me was just looking for a way to sabotage everything that was going well. I think it's mainly because every time something good happens, it automatically fucks itself up. I don't want to blame anyone but myself if something goes wrong. 

Calum repeatedly and lightly tugged on my hair while kissing me. After what felt like a lifetime of our hands intertwining with the motion of our lips in perfect sync, we slowly pulled away. He picked me up and placed me on his lap, down on the couch. We looked at each other and then away, trying to distract ourselves.

"I'm sorry if I was too sudden on you," he said to me quietly. "I'm just, I don't know, I'm not used to having competition when it comes to things like this. I wish that it was just you and I."

"I'm sorry that this is really unfair to the both of you. I never intended on this. I feel like we have such a strong attraction between us. I can't ignore this. I don't know what to do."

"Well, as wildly attracted as I am to you, I want you to be happy before anything else. Even if that means you're happy without me."

"But Calum, I could never imagine myself in a life without you where I'm happy. You can't not be in my life."

"Okay, then maybe the only way for me to stay in your life is if we go back to how we were before that stupid party I threw."

I looked at him and we both nodded.

"There's a small problem with that."

"What?"

"I don't want to be just friends. And I know you want more too."

"Well of course I want more.  How could I not? Do you know how badly I want to grab you and fuck you up against the wall right now? I constantly want to kiss you. I'm so drawn to you in so many different ways and trust me, I think I could do much better things to you if I wasn't just your friend."

He looked at me in a slightly provocative way.

I couldn't help but notice how sharp his jawline looked in that lighting.

Or how big his biceps were.

My eyes trailed off from his arms and back up to his eyes. He was staring directly into mine. In that moment, I knew exactly what I wanted and there was nothing that could stop me now. 

S H I T.

I placed my finger directly under his chin to life his face up, and I held it in my hands. I pulled him in until our lips had barely grazed each others. He let out a quiet little moan as he grabbed my waist and just looked into my eyes. We slowly placed our lips together once again. The longer our lips touched, the more aggressive we were getting. He laid me down onto the couch and he got on top of me. He looked at me and brushed my hair behind my ear. He laughed a little bit in a very seductive tone.

He leaned over and started kissing my neck softly, then sloppily. I ripped his shirt off and he did the same to me. I had my right hand next to my head as he was kissing me, and he held it. He laced our fingers together then firmly pushed my hand down as he thrusted himself into me. I felt our bodies corresponding with each other and I didn't feel an ounce of regret. Everything was wrong, but it didn't feel that way. I promise you, it felt pretty damn amazing.

My nails trailed down his back, hurting him. Calum was cursing under his breath, telling me to keep going. The more I scratched him, the harder he would go. This was just history repeating itself. Except this time we were fully aware of what we had done. We knew exactly what we had done.

Fast-forward to the morning after. We both lay on the ground next to each other. When I opened my eyes, I took a good look at myself in his mirror. Why was I doing this? Deep down inside, I knew who I really wanted to be with. Why was I messing with poor Calum's heart?

To be fair, I was so turned on by him. Every time I saw him, I could imagine myself on him or next to him. I closed my eyes and saw what we had done over the course of the past three days. It felt like suddenly everything in my life had just started moving fast, and it was starting all at once. It was all so sudden. First, I fuck my best friend. Then I manage to tell the person I'm in love with how I feel, and finally, I manage to fuck up my only chance with him I'll ever get. Oh, the mess I've made.

My thoughts were silenced by the sound of Cal yawning. "Hey," he said to me in his usual, raspy morning tone. God, he was so sexy. It seemed like I could never get enough of him. He walked up behind me looking in the mirror and snaked his arms around my waist. He pulled me towards him, my back firmly planted to his chest. "I know. The view is pretty amazing," he said, grinning. I turned around to find myself face to face with him. He gave me a soft and gentle kiss while smiling at me. Calum was 6ft tall, so I had to look up at him. "Calum, we need to stop."

He looked at me longingly. "I know," he audibly sighed. "I wish this wasn't so complicated," he finished.

Silence.

"I think you should go out with Mikey. At least once, just to see what you would miss if this continued."

He sounded very calm and rational.

"Calum, I don't want to hurt you."

"You need to see what it's like or you'll regret it. I would never forgive myself if I was what stood between you. Do it for me. Think of it as a favour."

Pause. Uncomfortable shifting.

"I guess."

"Good."

                                    *     *     *     *     *     *     

*A/N* Sorry for a short chapter I've been kinda busy lately. Make sure to comment opinions!

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