Journal

These are my thoughts lets see if you can get to the center of my maze. . .

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2. My thoughts

Who am I? What have I done? What have I seen? What guilt do I hold in my heart? Where do I stand? What meaning do I have? What do I stand for? Where do I belong? What’s my home? Do I belong here? What am I hiding?  

Who am I?!?! 

Those thoughts are on my mind 24/7 yet nobody notices that. They just see a smile and cheerful attitude and they think nothing is wrong? I can’t do it anymore! I can’t smile like nothing is wrong! I’m fighting by myself. In my eyes I see a girl who is falling yet nobody notices. She’s sitting in the dark crying. That girl is me and I don’t have anybody to fall back on. I feel so dead. If I let the smile die you would see dead eyes staring at you that have so much pain. I don’t know who I am anymore! I can’t fight by myself but who would help me? I try to help people who are like me so they don’t have to go through that pain. I feel so much pressure that I’m tired each day. Does anybody notice how dead I am? No. . . all they see is a girl who is smiling through her pain. I’m all by myself yet nobody notices. Please somebody help! I can’t hold on anymore. My grip is failing. I’m going to be locking everything away if I fall. I’m losing myself and nobody will ever help me. So this is what it feels like to lose everything. This is good-bye. . . but I’ll be back somebody when I can pull myself out of the darkness. . . I promise. . .

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