Genius Villains and Heroic Idiots

When Simba goes missing from the Pride Lands, Zazu enlists the help of Blackadder, Mr. Bean, Johnny English, the Gasforth Police and Mystery Inc. among others to find him and solve the mystery in this tribute to my most favourite actor of all time: Rowan Atkinson.


10. One Last Cunning Plan

"Dear god!" moaned Blackadder, as he stood by the bar in Flashheart Hall.
   "What's the matter?" asked Baldrick.
   "I can't believe this," said Blackadder.
   "Believe what?" asked Baldrick.
   "I'm just a waiter working in that mansion was once mine," explained Blackadder. "Flashheart has been promoted to Duke. Everyone has got a medal from the Queen of England for their service for returning all the crown jewels in the world and saving the world except me. Even Bean's teddy bear has got one."
   Bean was sitting on a table playing with his medal in front of Teddy, who also had a medal just as large and bright as his.
   "Flashheart has turned my once lovely gorgeous, posh dining room with a big chandelier into a disco room with smelly bar tables and chairs and with loud annoying music," went on Blackadder.
   "Oh, it's not nasty music," said Baldrick. "It's Smash Mouth!"
   Smash Mouth was playing All Star on the wooden stage.
   "And worst of all," went on Blackadder, "my boss is – "
   "Be careful of what you say, Blackadder," warned Baldrick. "You can either work here in your favourite place under my rules or you can go and beg for a job somewhere. Now, get back to work!"
   "Yes, sir," sighed Blackadder. Then he picked up a tray of drinks and started working around Flash's Disco; the name of the room that Flash called it. He went to Bean's table and serviced him a glass of red wine and gave a glass of fluff and stuffing to Teddy, which is what Bean ordered for him.
   As Blackadder left, Bean took a sip of wine and spat it back in his glass. He didn't like it. He looked around and saw a bottle of champagne on the table where Fowler and Dawkins were sitting. While they were thanking God for their drinks, Bean put his glass next to Dawkins and took her champagne glass.
   "Well, a toast to a mission accomplished," smiled Fowler as he picked up his glass.
   He and Dawkins toasted with their glasses and took a sip.
   Dawkins coughed. "Raymond, this is red wine!"
   Fowler looked at her glass. "So it is."
   "You promised me champagne!" yelled Dawkins.
   "Keep your voice down, Patricia," said Fowler. "We'll find out who took your glass."
   They looked around and saw Campbell having a glass at the bar. She immediately walked to her.
   "Can I help you, Sergeant?" asked Campbell.
   "You can help by giving me my glass back," said Dawkins.
   "This is mine," protested Campbell.
   "Fine," said Dawkins, getting out a pair of handcuffs. "Then you're under arrest."
   Campbell grabbed the handcuffs and threw Dawkins to the middle of the disco. Campbell got up and jumped onto her.
   Everyone was shocked at seeing the two women fighting, except one.
   "All right!" cheered Flashheart. "Yeah, fight, girls. Fight! Fight! Fight!"
   Then everyone was shouting, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
   "Fight harder!" yelled Kray.
   Everyone was enjoying the ladies fighting, including the Gasforth police.
   Blackadder went back to the bar.
   "Blackadder," called Baldrick. "What kind of wine did you get?"

   "Why, the normal kind, sir," replied Blackadder. "Jacob's Creek, Hardy's, etc. Here, try this wine for yourself."
   Blackadder passed a glass of red wine to Baldrick.
   "Okay," smiled Baldrick. He took a slip. He seemed to be all right.
   "So how do you feel, sir?" asked Blackadder.
   "I feel like I'm ready to…" Baldrick said that very quietly. Then his eyes widened. "PARTY!"
   Then he stripped his shirt and joined the mad party.
   Blackadder's phone rang. He went out of the disco room and into the more posh hallway.
   "Hello," said Blackadder. "Yes, those magic pills I put in all the alcohol have done the trick. They will lose their memories and I will be able to fill their heads. You certainly got your money's worth and I finally got my mansion back."
   Blackadder smiled with pride as he turned the phone off and headed up the grand stairs.



Rowan Atkinson Characters

Live Action Characters


• Modern Blackadder
• Prince Edmund (The Black Adder)
• Edmund Blackadder, Esq. (Blackadder the Third)
• Captain Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder Goes Fourth)

Mr. Bean

• Mr. Bean

Johnny English

• Johnny English

Thin Blue Line

• Inspector Fowler

Rat Race

• Enrico Pollini

Cartoon Characters

The Lion King
• Zazu

Non Rowan Atkinson Characters

Live Action Characters


Tony Robinson as:
• Bog Off Baldrick (Modern Baldrick)
• Medieval Baldrick (The Black Adder)
• Georgian Baldrick (Blackadder the Third)
• Private Baldrick (Blackadder Goes Fourth)

Stephen Fry as:
• Lord Melchett (Blackadder II)
• General Melchett (Blackadder Goes Fourth)

Tim McInnerny as:
• Medieval Percy (Blackadder II)
• Captain Darling (Blackadder Goes Fourth)

Hugh Laurie as:
• Prince George (Blackadder the Third)
• Lieutenant George (Blackadder Goes Fourth)

• Brian Blessed as King Richard IV (The Black Adder)
• Robert Eastman as Prince Harry (The Black Adder)
• Miranda Richardson as Queen Elizabeth I (Blackadder II)
• Pastry Burne as Nursie/Bernard (Blackadder II)
• Helen Atkinson-Wood as Mrs. Miggins (Blackadder the Third)
• Jeremy Hardy as Perkins the guard (Blackadder Goes Fourth)

•Rik Mayall as Lord Flashheart

Mr. Bean

• Teddy as himself

Johnny English

• Ben Miller as Bough
• Daniel Kaluuya as Tucker
• Natalie Imbruglia as Laura Campbell
• John Malkovich as Pascal Sauvage

The Thin Blue Line

• Serena Evans as Sergeant Dawkins
• James Dreyfus as Constable Goody
• Mina Anwar as Constable Habib
• Rudolf Walker as Constable Gladstone
• David Haig as DI Grim
• Kevin Allen DC Kray
• Mark Addy as DC Boyle

The Witches

• Anjelica Huston as The Grand Witch
• The Witches

Rat Race

• John Cleese as Donald Sinclair


• Mr. Blobby (as himself)
• Smash Mouth (as themselves)

Cartoon Characters

The Lion King

• Simba
• Nala
• Timon
• Pumbaa
• Rafiki
• Scar
• Hyenas

Scooby Doo

• Scooby Doo
• Shaggy Rogers
• Fred Jones
• Daphne Blake
• Velma Dinkley
• Scrappy Doo


• Written by Bobby South
• Blackadder created by Richard Curtis, Ben Elton and Rowan Atkinson
• Mr. Bean created by Richard Curtis and Rowan Atkinson
• Johnny English created by Neal Purvis, Robert Wade and William Davies
• The Thin Blue Line created by Ben Elton
• Scooby Doo created by Hanna-Barbera Productions
• The Witches based on the novel by Roald Dahl
• The Lion King written by Irene Mecchi, Jonathan Roberts and Linda Woolverton
• Rat Race written by Andy Breckman
• Mr. Blobby created by Charlie Adams

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