Midnight Thinking*

A "diary" about whatever I think of at night. Not exactly midnight, but you get the point. It can just be what I might be thinking at the end of the day because if I stayed up 'til midnight to write this every night I'd be in danger of some major sleep deprivation. In truth, I just liked the title (which may or may not end up being a book title of mine). Anyway, these thoughts could end up being as short as a sentence or as long as a few pages. So, enjoy my ramblings.


3. The Last Time or The Second Chance?


        The ultimate heartache is betrayal. Its been done to everyone at least once. Your friend told your secrets. Your mom told that dirty thing you did to your dad. Your bestfriend stole your guy. Or maybe it was vise-versa: you told your friend's secrets. You told your dad that dirty thing your mom did. You stole the guy from your bestfriend.

        It always happens in one way or another. Its a fault of the human race. We love to hurt. Sometimes its not intentional, but then again, sometimes it is. Either way, we've all felt the pain that was brought on by the betrayal.

       You lost a friend. You lost respect for your mom. You got left by the guy you wanted.

        It hurts, it really does. You feel like an idiot for falling for their trick. You're angry that you even believed their words. You thought they were something that they weren't. You thought your friend was one worth having, and maybe they were. It was just that one thing that you simply couldn't overlook, the betrayal of your trust.

        Remembering the good times makes the betrayal seem even more upsetting.

        You can't look back on the smiles that you shared because of the thought that maybe it was all fake. Was what you had even friendship if it just lead to betrayal? Should they even be considered your friend, family member, or lover? They took something away from you. Who are they to try and reclaim that trust again after they hurt you?

        "Once something is truly lost, you can never get it back," are words wisely spoken, are they not?

If this saying is true, then what about second chances? Would you risk betrayal again? What if it were you who lost the trust of someone? Would you want it back?

        The correct question is: do you deserve it?

        I wonder, what is the point of no return?


        What do you think?

                             -- Ayame



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