The End

There is nothing left to say.


1. First and Last

I won't say much. I will leave it quite brief. Not that there is much to say anyway. I won't make a big fuss. I won't make a scene. I want to go out the same way I came in. Quietly through the back doors.

Not that anyone will miss me. It's not like I am something so amazing there is no way you would be able to replace me. I'm sure you'll find the new Erica soon. You won't have to do much looking. I bet there are thousands of girls lining up to be the next me. Daughter of a successful black man, a pleasing but rare sight.

Not that being me is that good. In fact it's terrible, awful. But I won't bore you. I've had a feeling, a feeling for a very long time now. A void in my heart. A gap where I know something should be. But that is not the only part of me that is missing. My sister is gone. And soon I will be too.

So, so long, farewell, I want to start singing but I won't. Because I said I would keep this brief.

Al my life I have been waiting for that something special, that someone special and yet they never come. Maybe it's me. It probably is.

So much has happened, so many things have lead up to this moment.

Don't think of this as saying goodbye. Think of this as saying hello. Hello to a brighter tomorrow. A better place. I can go and be free. The lost children will be there and my sister will be waiting for me.

I miss you darling, I will be there for you soon.

To all who have known me, to all I have cried to. To all who have been there for me when I needed you the most I salute you.

Caroline, you are my best friend. I will love you to the bitter end. When times were hard you were there for me. And I love you. You know why I'm doing this. Don't try and stop me. I'll be long gone by the time you realise. I am sorry. But some things I have to do on my own. You should have been Head Girl, and that school don't know what they are missing out on.

Sam, you have been wonderful. Even though I have never liked you much you were Caroline's boyfriend and, in my eyes, you still are. You cheated on her, and you're a dick for that. But I am still sorry you lost her.

My brothers.

I'm sorry.

Mum and Dad.

 Forgive me.

Kind souls of the world.

I will never forget you.

But this is my stop.

This is where I get off.

This is the end.

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