Bad Direction

"It's just a dream!" I tried to tell myself. "In the morning when I wake up, I will be back home. This is just a dream. This can't happen to me!"
Yet it was precisely what happened! And it happened just me! Maybe it was planned, or maybe it was just by chance? I had no idea why, but there I was, in a house with five known guys, as wasn't nice.


23. a lie

It got dark around me, and the night came. I slipped into a park and I found a bench that was under a tree. The tree gave bench protection. I lay down on the bench and I couldn't think. What would I do? I'd hitch a ride with a car? But I had no idea where I was and the police wouldn't help me. I felt hopeless. Gently cradled me into sleep, by my own thoughts.


I felt someone put something warm over my body. I felt a pair of lips that kissed my cheek.
It was Harry. I opened my eyes and I looked straight into his green eyes. He wasn't angry, he smiled. It was still night and we were alone. He had taken off his jacket and was now over me with his face.
"You freeze!" he whispered hoarsely, and he kissed my lips. "I've been looking for you all night."
I couldn't tell him what I felt. For the moment, I was just grateful that he was with me and that he had missed me. I was grateful that I wasn't alone and something told me that I wouldn't run away from him. Harry was calm and he didn't want to question me.
"I have the car outside the park." he continued hoarsely, and he pulled my hair away from my face. "I lift you and carry you."


I felt like a little child. Harry held me tightly in his arms. I held my arms around his neck and I had my face against his hair. I actually liked the smell of his fragrances and I was actually happy that he had found me. I wasn't afraid and I regretted that I had left them. Okay I had one goal, to get my family to know that I was alive, but for the moment I was tired, hungry, and I froze. Harry put me in the back seat of the car and he put a blanket over me. He got behind the wheel and he started the car. I fell asleep again and in fact I felt more calm in the body.


The sun began to go up. I woke up when the chair rays glided over my face. I squinted and I noticed that the car was standing still. I looked forward to the driver's seat. Harry was behind the wheel, asleep. I sat up and I yawned. It took me a few seconds to realize that Harry had parked on the other side of the street, to my parents' house. It was as if I didn't understand that I was really here. I sat up and I saw that my parents were and worked because the was no car  on the yard. It felt strange. I didn't know what to say or do. I opened the car door and I stood up in the street. I was free? Did Harry wanted to release me?


The street was nearly deserted. The neighbor seemed busy watering the flowers and the birds chirped. It felt as if I woke up and I came back. Harry took himself out of the car and he smiled at me.
"Was this what you wanted?"
I smiled at him and I nodded.
"Am I free?"
He shrugged.
"If you want?"
I hesitated.
"And the others?"
He walked up to me and he hugged me tightly.
"Nelly, I want you in my life and I wish with all my heart that you want the same thing, but I understand if you want to return to what you had."
I hugged him back. I had no idea what I would say. I wanted to go home, but at the same time I wanted to stay. It was as though I was split in two.
"How can I have both?" I whispered. He released me and he caught up my face with his hands. He looked into my eyes and he smiled a little bit.
"You haven't thought about getting ONE boyfriend?"
I hesitated.
"You mean four?"
He shook his head.
I frowned.
"The others wont approve it."
He laughed quietly.
"Maybe not, but maybe we can make it work?" then he released me. "Do you want to be alone when they get home?"
I looked at the house again, and I felt unsafe.
"How can I explain?"
He backed a few steps to show that I was free.
"Tell them that you ran away with me and we were crazy for a while?"
I looked at him.
"They will see that it's a lie."
He disagreed with.
"Not if you believe what you say."


My dad was the first person who came home. Harry held my hand tightly, and it was he who pulled me toward the house. It felt strange and it was as if I was a stranger. He went out of the car, closed the door and then he saw me. He was just standing there and he seemed to think he was dreaming. I felt small and I tried to smile.
"Hi dad!"
It was a few seconds, as we just stared at each other. Then I saw the tears came from his eyes and he almost threw himself over me.
"You are at home?"
I hugged him back.
He sobbed and he held me as if I were something precious.
"We have been so worried." he whispered hoarsely. "We thought you were dead."
Damn, what I would say.
"Forgive me!"
Dad dropped me and he looked straight into my eyes.
"We thought you were dead." he repeated again. "The police said that no one would find you after that long long."
He sobbed and then he became aware that Harry was there. I saw at dad that he didn't know what to think about the green-eyed guy.
"This is my boyfriend, Harry!" I hesitantly forward. "I was with him and we..."
hell, I couldn't lie. Harry came up and he tried to smile.
"We were crazy and we chose to leave everything for a while."
My dad become angry, but not because of him, but because of what we had done, according to the lie.
"You made a lot of people sad!" he got up and he looked at me again. "Don't you realize that we were worried about?"
I hesitated.
"Yes, but now I'm home."


I landed in a fog. My mom came home and it was as if they had really missed me. They really had been looking for me and they had also given up hope. They took us into the kitchen and we had to repeatedly tell a lie that became their truth. It felt more right not to tell them the truth. How could I explain that I had been with four guys who had taken advantage of me in every way? This sounded much better and in the end were all happy.


"Will you stay the night?"
My mom's question made me understand that they believed that Harry was my boyfriend. I was hesitant and I looked at him. Harry smiled a little bit, and he nodded.
"If that's okay?"
Mom smiled.
"Yes, it's okay. We still have a lot to talk about and we want to get to know you."
Damn, I should have said he was a friend. My parents thought we were together and so far that felt as untrue.
"You can sleep in Jenny's old room. She has a sofa bed in there and I'll make arrangements for you."
Dad nodded happily.
"And I go and buy food. We must celebrate Jenny's back."


Harry and I were alone in the kitchen. I gave him a doubtful look.
"They think we... are together!"
Harry laughed a little bit. He pulled me up from the chair and he hugged me gently.
"Aren't we together?"
No not yet.
"Harry, I'm sorry, but just a day ago I was your prisoner, and it takes time to get used to all this, with you."
He kissed me.
"Please give me a chance. Get to know me again and let me show you who Harry is."
It felt like a daunting task. I had all the memories fresh and it still felt as if there were many obstacles to overcome.
"If you give me time." I whispered. Harry kissed me again and this time I answered the kiss. I took my arms around his shoulders and actually felt okay. He was ready to give my freedom and he had nevertheless taken me to my parents.


We sat a long time and talked to my parents. They told me about what had happened when I was away and it felt as if I had never been kidnapped. Harry tried to be like a normal boyfriend and he showed not a single side as I was used to. He was a gentleman and he was like a regular guy.


Late at night we went to bed. I froze when I felt his naked body against mine and he smiled big.
"One thing you must understand. I can't change my body."
I swallowed.
"And if I say no to sex?"
He laughed quietly, and he pulled a hand through my hair. He landed on top of me and he seemed to think.
"Can't we compromise?"
I shook my head.
"If you're going to be my boyfriend, you must learn that no means no."
He nodded understandingly and then he kissed me. I felt him against me and I felt how I came to life. He kissed my lips with love and I almost didn't recognize him.


I landed in that state. He pulled off my clothes and he penetrated. It was as if he got me to drop the border again. We were silent because my parents could maybe hear us. Harry realized that he couldn't do as usual, but he was at least as good as before at giving me pleasure. He took me by storm, this Harry cared even more about my body. I come and I had to bite my lip just to keep from crying. It was as if my body was owned by him and he knew what he would do. When he had come, he lay still on top of me and he hugged me tightly. I felt we were sweaty and I felt again that feeling of total satisfaction in the body.
"What will you say to the other?" I got up. Harry raised his head and he smiled.
"One thing at a time." he whispered hoarsely. "You should meet with your friends, and I want to see your apartment. We give it time, and in a few days I call Liam and explain?"
I frowned.
"You know it will not work. You need to call them in the morning."
Harry kissed me and he slipped out of me.
"Darling, I also want to get used to this."
I realized that we both had a lot to learn from each other. He had to give me freedom and he was forced to land in a normal living. I was forced to get back to my life and live in the knowledge of what had happened. What made it all at least bad was that I couldn't tell the truth. My parents were worth not to knowing that their daughter had been locked up. I didn't want that they would find out the truth.
"Let's sleep on it!" Harry whispered hoarsely. "When we slept, we can think through this and plan. Now I'm just tired."

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