少年は少年を満たしています // **Yaoi **

U-um.... My name's Akito Ritsu and i'm currently in my 1st year of highschool. I haven't really been able to fit in here at all. I guess i'm glad i'm invisible... I have this small crush on this guy who I call Usagi-Senpai. He's basically considered very popular even though he doesn't do anything but read in the library. NOT THAT I STALK HIM OR ANYTHING. I mean... he wouldn't want anything to do with me.. Plus i'm a guy. It's probably just a phase though... i-i'll get over it. I hope...

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1. Love at first sight?

           True love doesn't exist.  And it doesn't look like it will ever when it comes to me. Having a feeling of disappointment was a regular feeling for me. Especially since I had a crush on Usagi-Senpai. He was considered popular even though all he did was read books and was really smart.  I'd usually watch him read at the library, but I try my best to hide myself. IT'S NOT STALKING! I SWEAR! I just wanted to get to know him more. 

            I know he'll never love me. Well, i'm a guy. He could get a beautiful girlfriend instead. I shouldn't get my hopes up too high too. Things just don't go the way you plan sometimes, you know?

         He'll usually come to the library during lunch break. Nobody's really here during this time. Not even the librarian is here. Quietly, I peak through the small book crevices, and I try to catch a small glimpse of him. . His hair was a smooth, sleek black, and it was always swept back to one side. He always had his shirt untucked, and it gave off a badass aura. His eyes were a piercing grey that always had a twinkle of light to them. He was perfect to me.

I felt my face getting hot. Akito, get yourself together I thought to myself. Without noticing, I accidentally pulled one of the books from the shelves, and it falls down to the floor with a loud thump. He looks up from his book, and he turns his head towards my direction. My body stiffens. What if he catches me?! I try to remain as still and quiet as I could. 

            After a moment of silence, he stops looking over at my area and returns reading. Thank god, he didn't notice me! I was still shivering from the incident, and my hands were sweating. I needed to calm down for  while. Maybe  I should go reread one of his old books since he doesn't seem to be leaving any time soon. Sometimes, he reads books that I wouldn't have thought i'd ever actually read. I tiptoe over to the Japanese Classical books section, hoping I wouldn't startle senpai again. Once I put my hand on the book, I felt a warm touch that left a trace on my hand. When I turn my head, I see Usagi-Senpai right next to me. 

           I started panicking. What do I do?! " U-um, you can have this book if you want, " I try to say under my breath. I don't want him to know i'm nervous, and I certainly don't want him to know that I had been watching him. He gently takes the book from me, and he stares at me in the face. Uh oh. I'm getting really nervous. I think I might faint. 

          After a moment of silence, he turns to walk away. Before he could leave, I grab onto his sleeve. " I-I love you, " I stutter nervously. What the hell am I doing?  He looks at me like I was unusual. My ears were ringing. I felt nauseous, and it made my stomach do a flip. " U-uh, forget what I just said! " I exclaimed and ran towards the library doors. Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Why did I do that? I could've just kept my mouth fucking quiet, and I wouldn't have embarrassed myself that much. 

         " ALL STUDENTS TO REPORT TO THE AUDITORIUM FOR AN ASSEMBLY, " roared the intercom. Everyone lined up and was grouped up by each grade level. I'm currently a freshman, so I had to find out where my grade was. When I turned my head, I had noticed that Usagi-Senpai was staring at me. Maybe I weirded him out. That's probably why he's staring at me. It's because i'm a freak.

          BANG! I felt a throb on my forehead, and i've noticed that I had hit my head on the pole because I wasn't paying attention. I saw that Senpai was smiling a little. He usually never smiles! Well, whenever I see him, he doesn't. I try to act as if I didn't feel pain, but in reality, I was about to cry.  

         I got up and brushed off the dust that had landed on my uniform. Looking straight ahead, I tried to avoid letting Senpai see that I was bright red from embarrassment. 

         Usually these assemblies would fly by, but today it seemed like it was going on forever. I had too many things going on in my mind. Maybe I shouldn't have ran out of the library like that, or maybe I shouldn't have been there in the first place. God, I don't know. I just wish I had a time machine...

        *  3:30PM ( School is over ) *

        Today seemed tiring as hell. Not because of the schoolwork and stuff, mostly because of how idiotic I was acting today. Seriously, I should just move away from Japan, change my name, and live off on bread. YES! THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD DO. I'LL JUST CHANGE MY NAME TO RIN! It'll save all my problems right now! As I was thinking of what I should do to run away, I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. My senses suddenly came back to reality. 

         " You're Akito Ritsu right? " asked a hazy, deep voice. I turn around, and I see Usagi standing there with his bag in hand. " Y-yes! " I stuttered. I tried fixing my posture and act calm, but it was very difficult to. " Mind coming over today? I have a few questions to ask you, " he said with a slight smile on his face. My face got even redder. " Y-yes! " I stuttered. My voice was very shaky, but I was really happy. He starts trailing off to his street, and I follow him, smiling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

       

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