A Raven Cycle AU. The rating is for the occasional swear and abuse. This is an alternate universe in which Ronan and Adam get together in the first Raven Cycle book.


2. Not Strong Enough


I laid in my bed as Gansey drove Adam "home". My sheets still smelled of him, and I refused to admit what went through my head as Chainsaw devastated an unopened envelope addressed from Declan. It was probably some notice about him hiring Mom a new nurse or bitching at me for skiping so much class. Either way, Chainsaw got more enjoyment out of it than I would have.

I found myself falling into an unwanted sleep. It wasn't the kind of sleep that led to me pulling something out of my dreams, but of something from my dreams pulling me in.

I saw Adam. He sitting like he was when he was waiting for a ride for school, but his clothes were different. They were ripped and torn, but he seemed uninjured. His beautiful features were smiling, something he never did anymore. A large crack appeared just above his left eye and curved down his straight nose, stopping at the hollow of his throat.

"Parrish? Vestibulum ut solveret..."

"Denique ego sum," he replied, his mouth making more cracks.

"Dimitte me praeter te," I pleaded, but he continued to smile as even more cracks appeared. Suddenly, the wind blew and Adam shattered into thousands of pieces so fine that no one could pick them up. The wind continued to blow and swept him away.

I awoke to Chainsaw's cawing. I wondered where the little creature had gone while Adam was here earlier. She was usually so attached to me, to have her missing was odd. I decided not to think about the dream and instead decided to face something that actually wanted my help. I began to feed Chainsaw.

"Can you please stop that noise?" Noah whimpered pathetically. I rolled my eyes at the melodramatic shade. There was no other way to describe the other resident of Monmouth Manufacturing. With his crumpled form and pale appearance-not like Adam's which was more like sepia, but like a kind of watered down version of something that didn't exist anymore-Noah seemed very much like a forgotten ghost.

"She needs to eat," I stated simply.


I raised a curious eyebrow. It wasn't like Noah to challenge me.


"You're only feeding it-"


"-because you don't want to think about the Adam situation...and your own," Noah replied reasonably. Far be it from me to see reason, though.

"What?" I growled more threateningly.

"It's not for me to explain," Noah shrugged and left my room.

Soon the memory of Noah began to fray, but his words hadn't.

"Damn," I growled. I couldn't stop thinking about that dream now. "Damn!"

I needed to do something that would get my mind off of Parrish and his life. My father always said that you couldn't help people until they were ready to be helped. Chainsaw looked up at me thoughtfully.

I would leave her here. I couldn't stand the thought of another person disappointed in my vices. I smirked as I realized I thought of the raven fledgling as a human. Not surprising since I'd seen the human Chainsaw. I'd seen a lot of things, but none I would ever tell. Secrets kept you sane. Not my sanity, but those of my friends. The things I could do wasn't average, even for those chasing the ley lines. I didn't doubt Gansey would understand, he might even be excited, but the weight of the knowledge of what I could do was already almost unbearable. I wouldn't put that on his shoulders.

It was a Thursday, so my usual line of adrenaline junkies that I raced were unavailable. But there was one that was always willing to test their engine against mine.

I pulled up beside the white Evo with the splattered knife design and revved my engine as the light turned red. The owner slid down his window. A pale face half covered by dark sunglasses grinned at me.

"Lynch! You're boyfriend's out tonight? Perhaps Dick Three wanted to tap Parrish tonight," Kavinsky taunted.

"Just drive, albino," I shot back.

"Why so tense tonight, Lynch? Maybe I could help?"

The light turned green and I sped down the straight-way. The Evo was close behind.

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