A Raven Cycle AU. The rating is for the occasional swear and abuse. This is an alternate universe in which Ronan and Adam get together in the first Raven Cycle book.


9. LLCCIDA (Laugh Like Crazy 'Cause I'm Dead Anyways)


I dreaded the phone call I had to make after work was over. I borrowed one of my co-worker's phone to call Gansey to tell him I had to go home early. The phone rang several times before it went to voicemail. I groaned. How could he be practically glued to it one moment and suddenly be none existent the next? I tried again.

After the fourth call, I knew the owner of the phone must be agitated, so I left a message, asking him to bring my stuff by if I didn't show up by Monday.

I grimaced at that thought. In a last ditch effort, I called Ronan's cell. Of course there was no answer, so I left a similar message.

Suddenly the thought of what might happen to me tonight popped fully into my mind, and I couldn't stop the fear from leaking into my voice before I hung up. I gave the phone back to April and started on my way home.



It wasn't until three-thirty in the morning that I got Adam's message, and my blood went cold. I had lost my phone on my desk, and I had given up the search until Ronan's raven had unearthed it.

I could have stopped him, I groaned internally. But I knew better. It was easier to find Glendower than to change Adam's mind. But he sounded nervous. And if his dad had figured out it was us...

I wondered what Ronan might say if he were here, but I couldn't think that darkly, and I hadn't seen him since the note.

You can leave incriminating evidence but you can't tell me where you are? I thought exasperated. I wanted to drive to Adam's right now and take him back, but I knew if it went wrong Adam would be the one getting hurt, and I couldn't let that happen. I honestly didn't know what I could do that wouldn't put Adam in danger.

My phone rang, and I prayed it was Adam telling me that he was okay. That it was okay for him to come back to Monmouth and that he'd stay for a few more days- at least until he got a place of his own. But of course it wasn't.

"And a jolly morning to you as well, Jane!"

"Something is wrong," she stated immediately. I was about to confess that she was right when she continued. "Glendower is restless. He's showing the way, but we need to follow the path soon."

I blinked. With the Adam problem happening, actually searching for Glendower had pushed onto the back-burner, and I suddenly felt shameful. I needed to find Glendower. I couldn't help Adam until he was ready to be helped. But I still needed his help looking for the old Welsh king. I made up my mind. I was going to go kidnap Adam if he wouldn't- or couldn't- come willingly.

"Are you still there?" she asked, completely oblivious to my thoughts and the events of the past few days. It was the first time since we met her that my thoughts weren't smothered in Blue.

"Yeah... I'll have a helicopter come get us and see what we can see from an aerial view."

"What?" she asked, surprise heavy in her voice.

"But it'll have to be in the afternoon. Ronan won't miss Mass," I sighed. That was the one thing that Ronan would never compromise on, even though it included one of his least liked people- Declan Lynch- and I couldn't ask him to.

"What?" she asked again.

"Oh, Ronan is quite Catholic. He attends every Sunday," I replied off-handedly as I quoted Jane's words into my journal.

"I meant 'what' as in the world. In reference to the easily- accessible helicopter! You can just mail-order one?"

I finally noted the amazement in her voice, and I couldn't help thinking that it was endearing.

"Well, no. If I ordered one through the mail, it would take at least three days to come. No, I have a better way."

Ronan suddenly walked in and quickly strode into his room without a word. A few moments later he came back out, grabbed his bird, and trumped back into his room, slamming the door.


I would work on that mystery after I was finished talking with Jane.


"Hm?" I replied, realizing she must have called me more than once.

"Um...nevermind," she sighed. "Bye."

"Later," I replied and hung up.

I stood and stared at Ronan's closed door. I sighed. I needed to handle this before it became a problem. I opened the door, deciding knocking showed weakness, and it was never a good idea to show a predator weakness.

"Gansey," Ronan growled instantly as he opened the bag with Chainsaw's food. I disapproved of the name, but I couldn't deny it was the raven's name now that it- she- answered to it.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked with absolutely no malice.

"No one knocks in this fucking place," Ronan replied simply as he shoved the gray material down Chainsaw's throat.

"You know that's not what I mean. Something is up with you."

Ronan stayed silent and I knew I would get no response. I sighed.

"Will you at least come with me tomorrow to bring Adam his stuff?"

He looked up surprised.

"Parrish isn't back?"

I shook my head.

"His mom called him at work and said that he had to come home. He didn't really leave much info..."

"What do you mean?" Ronan asked, eyes narrowing.

"He left a voicemail because I couldn't find my phone earlier. He might have left one on your phone, too, if you ever checked it."

The comment came out more snide than intended, and I would have apologized had it not been Ronan. Instead, I just sighed.

"Will you come with me tomorrow? Things might get violent..."

Ronan simply nodded, so I left his room, shutting his door behind me.



I stared at the sleek cellphone sitting on my bed. It said that I had forty-six missed calls, and nineteen voicemails.

"Kerah?" Chainsaw asked gently. She had been irritated with me that I had left her, but relieved that I was actually sober.

I would like to say something to her, but I knew any response I could think of would be a lie, so I stayed silent. I decided that if I put my phone on speaker, it wouldn't be the same as actually using it.

"You have- nineteen- voicemail," the automated woman spoke calmly. I was already ready to claw my ears off, but I stuck with it. "First- unheard message: You're la-Message deleted."

I was not in the mood to hear Declan bitch and moan, which were the first eighteen messages.

"Last- unheard message: Hey...Ronan. If I'm not...If I'm not at school Monday, could you..."

I couldn't listen to the rest of the message. Adam's voice sounded so terrified, so near shattering, that I just couldn't. How did he expect me to wait until Monday to see if he was okay? I grabbed the keys to my BMW and headed out the door.

"Am I to assume this is a rescue mission?" Gansey asked, his wire-rimmed glasses firmly in place.

"No, this is a massacre, and you're staying here."

Gansey was about to argue but I stopped him.

"If I get arrested, you're the only one who'll pay bail. If we both go to jail, neither Declan or Helen is going to make the trip to get us out. I have church in a few hours."

For once, Gansey was speechless. Logic. She made a bitch out of the best of us.

"Try not to get arrested," Gansey finally sighed as I headed out of the door.

I couldn't make any promises, so I stayed silent and headed for my BMW. Something was going to end, and I refused to let it be Adam.

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