A Raven Cycle AU. The rating is for the occasional swear and abuse. This is an alternate universe in which Ronan and Adam get together in the first Raven Cycle book.


12. Charcoal and Sepia


I watched Adam as he slept. Blue and Noah had already left to ride in the helicopter, but I had decided to stay with him. No one needed to be alone in a hospital. Especially not Adam.

I watched as he breathed slowly and deeply, and guilt washed over me. If I had just answered my phone-

You couldn't have stopped him.

No one could make Adam Parrish change his mind, even if he knew the consequences of the decision. But that didn't stop me from wishing I had tried. I shook my head, forcing my thoughts to focus on something else.

What did Adam mean when he said that he'd told his father? Told him what exactly?

A million thoughts flew through my mind as I wondered this. Did he tell him about the kiss? Did he tell him he was going to move out? Did he tell him to go to hell?

I sighed. Thinking about it wouldn't give me an answer, so I went back to my past-time of watching Adam sleep.

My mind drifted again. I wondered what happened between him and Blue. Not that I really cared if she cried, I did care if she'd hurt Adam. He had been sleeping since Gansey had left after delivering the missed work, and I hadn't had a chance to ask about it. I doubted he would even tell me if I asked. I wasn't even sure if he'd forgiven me for the kiss yet. He wouldn't trust me with girl problems.


I nearly jumped at the quiet croak of Adam's voice. His eyes were watching me carefully, like he was calculating something about me. I tried to keep my expression blank.

"What time is it?" he asked, which was the last thing I'd expected him to say. I looked at the clock over his bed.

"A little past five," I replied simply.

"So the others are already gone? Blue...?"

I nodded, and he seemed to physically relax.

"When can I go ho- get out of here?" he asked carefully.

"The doctor said that you'd be released tomorrow. They want to keep you overnight for observation."

There was a long silence before Adam spoke again.

"I can't go back there..."

The pain in those five words was enough to bring back the anger that I had fought back when I had went to his house. I clenched my jaw to keep from saying something that I might regret. I was sick of Adam getting angry at me, and now wasn't the time to question why he'd gone back in the first place.

"Will you come to Monmouth then?" I asked, speaking slowly. I chose each word carefully, and made sure my voice sounded neutral.

"...I don't want to," he mumbled, his voice cracking slightly. "But I guess I don't really have a choice."

I stood and walked over to sit beside Adam on his bed.

"Don't," I glared. "You always have a choice. Just because it isn't something you want, never say you don't have a choice. You could choose to live on the street."

Adam glared back.

"And what would you care?" he snapped angrily. I didn't back down.

"Are you serious? Have you honestly not noticed how I feel about you?" I growled. Something flickered across Adam's eyes before they were again filled with anger.

"What I noticed Ronan Lynch, is that when you kissed me, you pulled away. I noticed that you hardly ever have anything nice to say to me at all. I noti-"

I chose then to smash my mouth against his. I didn't give him a chance to protest as I ran a careful hand through his hair and pulled him closer. His eyes fluttered closed and he gave a low moan that drove me insane. I licked and nibbled his bottom lip until he opened his mouth, giving me access. I felt his hands snake up my back and tangle in my shirt before he pulled me back and took a shaky breath. I couldn't help but think he was beautiful- even with the bruises and the bandages. Adam was always beautiful.

"I didn't pull away because I didn't feel anything," I huffed, also out of breath. "I did it because I didn't want to hurt you."

Adam studied my eyes, and I hoped he could see the honesty there. That he could see the love. I didn't really expect an answer, but his silence was starting to make a cold chill run down my spine.


He averted his gaze from me, not helping the uneasiness running through me.

"I...I don't think I'm gay..."

I immediately readied myself for what was about to come. I had just ruined a perfectly good friendship with Adam-

"But I know that I like you. I don't know if it's love... I don't really know what that feels like... But I do know that I like it when you kiss me...and I like when you say my name...and I like when you touch me..."

I smiled, and Adam blushed. I felt too relieved to even reply, so I just kissed him again, this time more aware of the fact that he was still hurt.

"Then does this mean you forgive me for the truck thing?" I grinned when we needed air again.

He smirked, and it reminded me of one of mine.

"He deserved worse. I just wish he would have been in it."

He became serious again and stared at me intently.

"Ronan...What will we be?"

I didn't hesitate. There was no need to.


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