I'll Never Be Enough

I'm Cassandra, I'm 17 and pregnant. I didn't choose to get pregnant, when I told my mom she told me to pack my stuff and get the hell out of her house. She's always told me that I'll never be enough for someone because of my severe depression, high anxiety, and anger issues. For some reason, I've always believed her, especially now since I have no one.
Until I go to my Aunt Amber's house. And fall in love? With my rapist? Maybe, maybe not read to find out.

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3. I Should Be Happy... But I Cant.

 Three months later...

 

I'm freaking out because I haven't gotten my period yet. What if Maya was right? What if I am pregnant? No, Cassandra Marie Santiago you are not pregnant... at least I hope I'm not.

"Sandra, It's been five minutes!" Maya yelled from downstairs, she said that if I am pregnant she would help in any way she can and also she wanted to be here so she could say 'told you so.'

"Okay!" I yelled back. I got up from the side of the tub and walked over to the sink. I grabbed the pregnancy test and it said... positive and 3-4 months along. 

"NO! NO! NO! THIS CANT BE HAPPENING TO ME!" I screamed. 

Maya came in and snatched the pregnancy test out of my hands and started jumping up and down while screaming.

"I'M GONNA BE A GODMOTHER! YAY! YAY! YAY!" Maya yelled causing me to cover my ears.

"OMG! You're gonna be a mom!" she said.

"I need something to drink." I said while leaving my bathroom.

I just cant believe that I'm pregnant, I mean how? I haven't had sex in a year. Wait, that day I woke up in that boys room. What if that boy rapped me? That means this child is a product of rape. No, why me?! 

"Hey babe you k?" Maya asked when we were in the kitchen.

"No." I said after taking a huge gulp of Dr. Pepper. 

"Why?" she asked with a confused look on her face.

"This child might be a product of rape." I confessed.

"Oh my gosh, babe I'm sorry." she said while walking to me and hugging me.

"I don't know what to tell my mom, like what will she do?"

"I don't know. But we do have school to look forward to, in one hour."

"UGH! seriously?" I asked annoyed.

"yes seriously, we gotta show the baby bumpy off."

"seriously, 'baby bumpy'. Really?"

"yep."

* * *

School was Hell, everybody asked if I was eating my feelings again. After being asked that about a million times I decided to go to the stage at lunch and tell everyone that I'm pregnant.

When lunch time rolled around I was really nervous, why I don't know.

When I walked in the cafeteria I went straight to the stage and walked up on top of it. By now everyone was starring at me like I had a second head.

"Hi I'm Cassandra Santiago. Today everyone has been asking me why I'm just a little bigger. Well get this, I'm pregnant. That's right, so if anybody asks me anymore questions I will rip your goddamn head off." I paused and looked all around me, there faces had the most shocked expressions on their faces. "BYE!" I said then jumped off the stage. Well that made me a little happier. Just a little.

* * *

When I was finally home I went to my room and started on my homework.

When I was finished with my homework I went to go take a shower. Once I was in my bathroom and I was fully naked I looked in the mirror and noticed my small baby bumpy.

Wait I just thought 'baby bumpy.' Well It soot's, baby bumpy.

When I was done starring at myself in the mirror I got in the shower. I stayed in there for about thirty minutes before I started to get hungry.

When I was done changing into clothes I stepped out of my bathroom, and guess who was standing in front of me? You guessed correct, my 'darling mother.'

"Hey." I said while moving out of the way and into the kitchen.

"Don't you dare act like this isn't happening! I'm going to be a grandma, at thirty-six years old!" she yelled as I was drinking my Dr. Pepper from this morning.

"So? And anyways I might get an abortion, so you wont have to be a grandmother at thirty-seven years old." I said. Dumb-ass, if you'd added it up you'd be thirty-seven. 

"Pack your shit and leave, I don't want you here." 

"What?! You don't want your own daughter here?! Why?!" I screamed back. 

"Because, now pack your shit and leave. NOW!"

"FINE!" I yelled at her while walking up to my room.

How in gods name am I supposed to fit my four to five suitcases in my car, and the rest of my stuff? More importantly, where an I going to stay? 

 

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