Open up to Me

Castiel is afraid to leave the house. His therapist and brother help him to make friends, resulting in meeting Dean, a shy mute, who might just be the only one capable of getting him to come out of his shell. | a Destiel fanfic with some Sabriel on the side | 39694 words |

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8. Chapter 7

Open up to Me

Chapter 7

 

Dean's lips touched his. Dean had leant forward and kissed him. KISSED HIM. Was he delirious? Why had he kissed him? Castiel wasn't anything special. Why would he want romantic entanglements with him? Was their friendship not enough for him? Castiel was pacing the kitchen frantically, feeling his chest seize up with stress from unanswered questions he was too afraid to ask.

His fingertips darted lightly over his mug, waiting for water to boil for his tea. His hand was shaking. He'd almost dropped the mug when fishing it out of the cupboard and since then, the shakes were not calming down. He contemplated phoning Gabriel. He needed help. He was far too out of his league.

He nodded to himself and picked up his cellphone from the kitchen counter, pressing one and calling Gabriel through speed dial. He tapped his fingertips anxiously against the side of the counter as he listened to the phone ring out.

"Fuck," Gabriel cried out in annoyance. One of Sam's clients had cancelled, giving Sam the time to surprise his fiancé at work and take him out back for a quick make-out session.

"Just ignore it," Sam murmured, kissing down Gabriel's neck as the cellphone continued to ring out next to them on the table. One of the perks of Gabriel owning his own bakery. He could do whatever he wanted and he couldn't get in trouble with the boss. He was the boss.

Gabriel shook his head when he saw Castiel's name light up on the screen of his phone. "No. Baby, it's Cas. I gotta take this." He picked up his phone, pushing Sam away a little so he could have some space to answer the phone. Sam resorted to leaning against the table with his arms wrapped around Gabriel's waist. His chin resting lightly on Gabriel's shoulder.

"Hey, kiddo. What's up?" Gabriel answered, trying to keep casual despite his breathy voice from fooling around with Sam for the last fifteen minutes. Sam remained quiet. Giving Gabriel time to speak to his brother. He understood that he'd always come first. Just like Dean did for him.

"Dean kissed me," Castiel blurted out before covering a hand over his mouth when he realized Dean might be able to hear him. "I-I don't know what to do. Gabriel you've g-g-got to help me."

Gabriel straightened, stepping out of Sam's embrace and began pacing the floor a little. Sam's eyebrows frowned in concern, trying to listen in as best he could. "Woah. Slow down. He kissed you? Isn't that..." Gabriel wasn't sure what to say. He'd known Castiel his whole life and not once had he been allowed to get close enough to do more than hold his brother's hand. He couldn't even hug his own brother and he's known Dean five minutes and they fucking kissed?!

"What about your rules? How did that even happen?" Gabriel asked, frowning with worry. He knew Dean wouldn't be the type but... if he'd forced himself on Castiel. He looked over at Sam with a concerned look. Sam shared it, waiting patiently for Gabriel to finish his conversation with Castiel.

"I-I-I don't know. We were under the bed a-and we made a blanket fort and..."

Gabriel interrupted Castiel. "Okay, kiddo. Just take a deep breath for me." He sounded relieved that the situation hadn't gone a different way. Dean was a good kid but that wouldn't stop Gabriel from thinking the worst.

Castiel did and Gabriel's shoulders relaxed a little as he listened to his brother calm a little.

"Alright? Now. Do you like him?"

"I don't know what that means!" Castiel groaned, running a hand over his forehead.

"On your own terms, would you want to kiss him back?" Gabriel asked patiently. He never thought he'd be having this talk with his brother but in a way, he was kinda relieved.

Castiel was silent for a moment. Contemplating. He'd never really thought about it before. Friendship seemed the only viable option. He'd never considered that there might be more than one way of him and Dean pursuing a relationship. A platonic one at best would last a few more months by his calculations. He'd assumed Dean would grow tired of having to stay in the same place all the time and leave him. Although, maybe he'd been so blinded by his own train of thought he'd been oblivious to the way Dean was with him. Maybe he'd always seen Castiel like that. Maybe Castiel was just too clueless to see the signs.

"I... I think so?"

"Okay. So just talk to Dean. Explain how you feel and I'm sure he'll understand if you're not ready for that kind of thing," Gabriel said, looking over at Sam who nodded in agreement but still held a worried gaze. "You want us to come over?" he offered gently, wondering just where Dean was while Castiel was talking to him.

Castiel shook his head, letting out a shaky breath. "No. I'm good. I-I just need to go now. Thank you, Gabriel." He hung up and placed his phone on the kitchen counter, letting out a heavy breath as he did so. He almost jumped out of his skin when he looked up from the floor to see a figure standing in the doorway.

I'm sorry.

Dean's head was hung, almost out of shame. He looked like a lost child and Castiel bit his lip anxiously. He wasn't good at confrontation. He'd used up what confidence he had to get up the courage to phone Gabriel. Now he was lost and lifeless. He didn't know how to speak. He couldn't move. Could only watch as Dean took a hesitant step forward.

I didn't mean to ruin things between us. I... I thought there was something there.

"I've never thought of anyone that way before," Castiel whispered, trying to meet Dean's eyes but cowering at the last moment so his eyes remained on his lips. The lips that had kissed him earlier that evening. He wasn't sure what to think of that.

I can leave if you want?

Dean looked worried and guilty. He was fidgeting with his hands when he wasn't signing. Something that didn't put Castiel at ease.

"Do you want to?" Castiel asked, looking up at Dean properly just for a moment before lowering his gaze again.

No.

No. The same answer Dean gave just before kissing him. Only this time, he was ready. It took a moment for him to register that Dean hadn't moved. He hadn't kissed him. He still stood in the same spot, watching him. Castiel felt strangely disappointed by that. Did that mean something? That he was expecting to be kissed. To kiss Dean back. Huh. Interesting.

The water came to a boil and Castiel's attention was torn away to his tea. Filling his mug with water before dunking a green teabag into the mug. He looked back at Dean who was still watching him with an uneasy expression. Unsure whether he should leave or not.

Castiel looked over Dean once more. Only this time, he looked different. Now Castiel could see just how beautiful he was. Something he hadn't really noticed before. Dean was his friend. Aesthetics weren't really a necessity. Now. They seemed to be and he wasn't sure why but he knew he wanted to find out. He answered Dean's unspoken question with a timid expression and a small smile which broke out into a nervous grin.

"Would you like some chocolate milk?"

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