Open up to Me

Castiel is afraid to leave the house. His therapist and brother help him to make friends, resulting in meeting Dean, a shy mute, who might just be the only one capable of getting him to come out of his shell. | a Destiel fanfic with some Sabriel on the side | 39694 words |

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5. Chapter 4

Open up to Me

Chapter 4

 

The following day, Dean had awoken feeling warm and bubbly. He was still replaying the previous night over and over in his head. The way Castiel had let him in a little. Allowed him to care for him after abruptly panicking over nothing in particular. Dean felt sorry for Castiel. Being all alone. Confined to such a small space all his life. It made him feel special that Castiel allowed him to be a part of his life. He knew how hard it was for Castiel to accept new things.

A small excited yelp made Dean look up from under the covers to see Butterscotch's fluffy tanned fur in his face. The small puppy stuck its tongue out panting happily at Dean before letting out another small yelp. He smiled brightly, bringing a hand out from beneath the covers to pet the small dog.

Sam had adopted Butterscotch a few months ago from a shelter and had given him to Dean to look after. According to his brother, his patients suffering from anxiety and stress found it easier to associate with animals as opposed to people. Although he had protested he wasn't like Sam's patients, he did have to admit though, he found the puppy's presence calming.

He carefully stepped out of bed, smiling timidly as Butterscotch jumped off the bed and continued to jump and paw excitedly around his feet. He bent down, picking up the puppy and nuzzled at his face. He wished he could speak to him. Tell him he loved him and praise him like any good owner should with their pet. But he couldn't. Being a puppy still, Butterscotch would grow up acclimatised to the lack of sound from his owner. But still it hurt Dean, knowing he could never be normal, just once.

Dean put down the loveable puppy once he had made it down and into the kitchen. He set down a bowl of food for Butterscotch and set on pouring himself a bowl of cornflakes. He added the milk and placed the bowl on the kitchen table. He went back to the refrigerator and poured himself a glass of orange juice. That's when he heard the faint click of the front door and Dean's lips curled upward in amusement. He closed the fridge door to reveal Sam entering the kitchen with a sheepish smile, still wearing yesterday's clothes.

You stayed over.

It was a simple statement Dean signed before picking up his glass of OJ from the kitchen counter and returned to the kitchen table, knowing his brother would follow. Obviously Sam scoffed and huffed a little, trying to deny the fact but Dean could see the way he slumped down in the seat opposite. His hair damp and freshly showered. He wore a small smile, like he couldn't hide the fact that Dean was right.

"Yeah," Sam said slowly, happiness just under the surface in his voice. Dean rose an eyebrow, taking a spoonful of cereal before dropping his spoon to sign again.

You gonna see her again?

There was a look of hesitation in Sam's eyes he couldn't quite place. His eyebrows scrunched together as he took another mouthful of cereal and waited for his brother to speak. His mouth never opened, however. Sam just sat there for a long while. Just staring at Dean.

Dean moved his head slowly from side to side, seeing if Sam's eyes would follow the movement but he didn't. He was still staring at the same spot in front of him and Dean frowned, taking his spoon and lightly tapping it against the side of his bowl, causing Sam to snap out of whatever dream world he was in and blurt out.

"I'm engaged."

Dean almost choked on his cornflakes, spluttering milk across the table. He coughed a little as he felt the cornflakes stick in his throat. He took a big gulp of orange juice to wash it down. He just stared at his younger brother with wide eyes. His cheeks having turned red from coughing.

You're engaged?! You've only known her a few weeks.

His hands weren't working fast enough to sign. He could feel them tremble a little as he frantically signed to express his concern and worry. He had no idea what had gotten into his brother to come out with something like that. A millions thoughts rushed through his mind. Most of them concerning where Dean would do once Sam inevitably moved out.

Sam just carefully shook his head, wrapping his large hands around Dean's to stop him from communicating so he could continue to explain. He'd been meaning to tell Dean for a while. It was only after this morning, when he and Gabriel spoke did he have the confidence to finally tell Dean. He'd tell Dean and Gabriel would tell Castiel.

"I... I haven't been honest with you, Dean," he said quietly, dropping Dean's hands and let his own rest in his lap as he looked at Butterscotch who now sat by their feet, wagging his tail happily. "I've been with Gabe... for almost three years now."

Dean could only stare at his brother in shock. He carefully reached out for Sam and tugged on his sleeve gently so he would look at him whilst he signed.

Gabe? Castiel's brother?

Sam nodded in confirmation and a small shaky breath escaped Dean. He ran a hand through his hair and blushed deeply. This was complicated. Why hadn't he told him? Did his brother not trust him? Did he not think he'd be okay with this?

Sexuality had been a difficult issue growing up. Their parents had died when Dean was only young. Perhaps three or four. Sam couldn't have been older than six months. As far as Sam knew, they had died in a car crash. And that's the way it was going to stay.

They'd been adopted by a couple a county over, seeing as they had no other family to name of. Dean had remained silent, after what happened. He couldn't speak. Didn't want to either. No matter how hard the Johnson's tried they could not get him to speak. If anything, it'd pushed him further in on himself. Especially when the beatings began.

They'd beat Dean when he couldn't be a part of the school play. Making the Johnson's look foolish in front of the other parents at social gatherings. They'd beat Dean when he got bad grades. Mostly because he found it hard to communicate with others. Especially a low funded school that couldn't afford helpers for kids like Dean. They'd beat Dean when they found a Valentines Day card in his backpack from a boy named Benny.

Sam in particular had been almost beaten to death when they found out Sam had kissed a boy. He'd been 15 and Dean remembered doing nothing. He just sat there, huddled in a corner and let it happen. He can still remember his brother looking at him with pleading eyes, silently begging him to help. But Dean just watched in horror as blood drooled from his little brother's mouth and stained the carpet as unconsciousness consumed him. If it weren't for the neighbours hearing the disturbance and calling the cops, Sam would have died.

"Dean?" Sam asked, resting his hand over Dean's, making him snap out of memory lane. He blushed deeply and looked down at their hands. He timidly curled his hand around Sam's to squeeze it lightly, to afraid to initiate a hug. Especially after reminiscing about their past. He didn't deserve to seek comfort from Sam. Not after what he did. He moved his hand away.

Why didn't you tell me?

Sam sighed, shaking his head. "I don't know, man. I just..at first I just wanted to make sure what Gabe and I had was real. Before I told you but..I don't know, it just got harder and harder to try and tell you. I didn't want you to think I was gonna leave you behind."

You will leave me behind. You're getting married.

Sam shook his head. "Doesn't matter. It won't change anything. I'm going to stay in town. Gabe still had Cas to think about. We're still going to be here for you both. Nothing will change. I promise. I won't let anything bad happen to you. I'll look out for you still."

There was an unusual protectiveness about Sam's voice that made him sad. He was the older brother. He was supposed to comfort Sam with these things. He felt so small and vulnerable when Sam spoke to him like this. All he could do was nod a little and try not to cry. He didn't want to bring anymore attention to himself.

Sam gave a small smile, squeezed Dean's hand once before moving away but Dean caught his sleeve again and Sam turned back just in time to catch Dean twitch a smile.

I'm just glad you're happy, Sammy. You don't have to hide that from me.

Sam nodded, feeling a whole weight off his chest. "Thanks, Dean." After that Sam seemed happier as he went upstairs to change before heading out to work. Dean however, felt worse. He'd kept a secret hidden deep within that had kept Sam protected all these years. Sam would never know just how much he'd suffered to keep his brother safe. And the guilt just came flooding back to the one time it mattered, Dean had done nothing to stop it. He hadn't thought about it in so long and suddenly it had come rushing back and Dean had forgotten how to breath.

He ignored Butterscotch, quickly running from the kitchen and headed upstairs to hide in his room, locking the door behind him. He found his phone and contemplated texting Castiel for a very long time. He didn't want to disturb him. Especially with such short notice. He wasn't sure whether Castiel would like that. But he needed to see him. Needed to find some reassurance in his new friend that his brother couldn't provide. After staring at the message he'd typed out forty minutes ago, he finally sent it and waited for Castiel's to reply.

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