Open up to Me

Castiel is afraid to leave the house. His therapist and brother help him to make friends, resulting in meeting Dean, a shy mute, who might just be the only one capable of getting him to come out of his shell. | a Destiel fanfic with some Sabriel on the side | 39694 words |

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22. Chapter 21

Open up to Me

Chapter 21

 

Over a year had passed since Sam and Gabriel's wedding. Dean had lived in a rented apartment in town for a while before Castiel nervously asked him to move in, seeing as he practically lived at Castiel's anyway. That was over a month ago and things were going surprisingly well for the couple. Castiel went out at least twice a week. Even if it was just to walk Butterscotch or go to the shops for some more bread. Just little things to keep him from drawing back in on himself. Dean took on more hours at the garage and took singing lessons. The couch really helped him stretch his vocal cords. He'd spoken more in the last year than he had in his entire life and yet he still hadn't been able to speak to his brother.

"You'll get there, Dean," Castiel assured quietly, comforting his boyfriend as they laid in bed together one evening.

Dean nodded, sighing softly. "I-t's just h-hard." He knew Castiel knew why. He'd told him about his family's past and why he'd become mute a long time ago. It was nice to have Castiel's support for these things.

Castiel nodded. "I understand." He cupped Dean's cheek and kissed him gently. "Let's get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be the night." Sam and Gabriel were coming over for their usual Sunday dinner tomorrow and Dean was hoping he'd be able to talk to his brother this time. Once and for all.

Castiel awoke the next morning to Dean's lips pressed against his neck. Hot, needy breaths being panted across his skin. He blushed deeply when he felt Dean's hard cock rutting slowly against his ass.

"D-Dean," he swallowed thickly. "I-I-It's not night time," he whispered. Sex was still an issue for Castiel. He still felt inexperienced and nervous about the whole thing. It felt amazing but he still felt uncomfortable initiating things. He never knew when the right time was to ask for sex because apparently you're not actually supposed to ask for it out loud.

Dean knew Castiel would freak out but he wanted to try it just once. They'd been together over a year. He knew these things were hard for Castiel but if they didn't try they'd never move forward. "I'll stop if you want me to," he said, sucking on Castiel earlobe lightly, making the other man let out a shuddery moan.

Castiel considered telling Dean to stop but this felt really good. Excluding his initial panic it felt nice to have Dean so close. "I..." He swallowed thickly, shaking his head. "No. I can't. I'm sorry," he said quickly, tensing with guilt as he knew Dean would be upset for rejecting him.

Dean inhaled sharply, reluctantly moving away. "Okay," he said, pressing one last kiss to Castiel's shoulder before slipping out of bed and into the shower to deal with his morning wood.

Castiel only moved once Dean was gone, running a hand over his face as he turned to lie on his back. He felt horrible but it still felt weird to be having sex so often. He liked it but he guessed his hormones were just in better check than Dean's. They were in their mid-thirties after all. Castiel had spent most of his life without sex. It was just something he could live without. Unlike Dean.

After twenty minutes, Dean came back into the bedroom with a towel around his waist and a sheepish expression on his face. "Sorry," he whispered, dipping his head and looked guiltily at the floor. "I... s-shouldn't have done that."

Castiel swallowed thickly, grabbing the bed sheet and wrapped it around himself as he stood. He kissed Dean's cheek and smiled sheepishly. "No. I'm sorry. I... I'm sorry I can't be normal and have sex with the man I care about so much. It's... just hard to do that sometimes," he explained quietly.

"I know," Dean replied, kissing Castiel's temple. They hugged things out and all was forgiven. "F-For the record. I-I d-don't want you to be normal. Ever." He kissed Castiel sweetly and smiled at him happily. "I..." Dean took a deep breath, nodding to himself. He could do this. He could say it. "I love you, for you."

Castiel watched hesitantly as Dean spoke. He hadn't said those words since Dean ran away. Had been too scared to incase he frightened Dean off again. Hearing those words brought tears to his eyes. "I-I love you, too," he whispered, kissing Dean as if to seal the words forever in the moment.

Dean's hands skimmed up and down Castiel's forearms, smiling at his boyfriend giddily. "Go shower. I-I'll cook us breakfast." Castiel smiled, pecking Dean's lips again before disappearing into the bathroom.

Castiel spent the rest of the day preparing for dinner with Sam and Gabriel. When the tradition first arose, Castiel had been nervous and scared wanting everything to go as smoothly as possible. He'd written detailed lists of ingredients Dean needed to buy for him from Walmart. He'd make sure every fork was in place and every dish looked perfect and presentable.

He still did all those things now, of course, with the exception of going to the store himself. He also started growing his own herbs in the backyard. Gardening had become a hobby that helped him get outside even if he was having a bad day. Just watering flowers did its part to make Castiel feel comfortable outside his own home.

Around six, there was a knock at the door. Dean wanted to answer it, thinking tonight he'd be able to welcome his brother verbally. He'd gotten really good at talking to Castiel but when it came to Sam, he stumbled.

He opened the door and greeted both Gabriel and Sam with a smile. Opening his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Sam had looked so hopeful, thinking maybe this week Dean would say something but he didn't. He just smiled like he usually did and stepped aside for them to come in. Gabriel smiled sadly at Castiel as he walked through and into the kitchen, leaving the brothers to have a moment.

"You doing okay, kiddo?" Gabriel smiled, setting down a bottle of wine and a box of chocolate melts. Their usual arrangement. Castiel would cook while Gabriel would bring wine and dessert from his bakery.

Castiel nodded. "Yeah. Just..." He stopped himself, looking around to make sure Dean was out of earshot. "Dean wants to have sex when it's still light out... is that weird? I mean, it's one of those things you do before bed, right?" he asked awkwardly. Castiel didn't like discussing these kinds of things but Gabriel always asked him uncomfortable questions anyway. He figured coming straight out with it would ease the embarrassment.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "Do you wanna have sex with him during the day?" he asked, trying to hide any amusement from his tone. His brother could really be clueless sometimes.

"I-I guess? B-But they don't do that in the movies. T-They have the special kiss at night or in the rain then they fall into bed together. That's what happens. It's not special if it's not at night."

"Cassie," Gabriel said slowly, looking his brother dead in the eye. "This ain't the movies. I know you've been living in a bubble most your life but Dean's not trying to play you, alright. It's what happens. People have sex whenever it feels right to. It doesn't matter what time of day it is or whether you have that cinematic kiss in romantic setting. If you want to do it. Just do it."

Castiel considered his brother's words carefully before nodding. "Okay. T-Thanks."

Gabriel squeezed Castiel's shoulder before looking over at the various pots brewing on the stove. "Alright. So what we got cookin' tonight?"

Sam was currently in the other room, talking about the same thing with Dean. "Just give him time, Dean. This years been pretty hectic for him. For both of you."

Dean smiled a little, remembering just how far they'd both come. He was proud of what they'd achieved. He looked up at his brother, smile faltering a little remembering what he had yet to accomplish.

I'm still sorry I can't-

Sam caught Dean's hands before he could finish signing, lowering them back into his lap. "Don't. You'll get there when you feel ready," Sam said, trying to hide his obvious sadness and irritation.

Dean sighed and slumped against the couch, biting his lower lip. He looked over at his brother, deciding to tell him some good news instead.

I told him that I love him, this morning.

Sam's eyes widened, smiling brightly. "You did?! Dean, that's amazing!" He took the opportunity to hug his brother, chuckling happily. Dean held his brother back, missing the closeness. He'd lived with Sam his whole life. It was weird to wake up and not greet the day with your brother downstairs eating toast and talking aloud from the newspaper. Just little things like that he'd missed.

"Alright Winchesters get your butts in here. Grubs up," Gabriel called from the other room, helping Castiel set the table with various bowls of vegetables and boats of gravy and sauces. Castiel set the roasted chicken up on the end of the table, carving succulent slices of breast to serve onto everyone's plate.

"Cooking must run in the family. This smells amazing, Cas," Sam praised, taking in all the different smells the banquet provided. Gabriel chuckled, helping himself to new potatoes melted in butter and rosemary.

"Yeah we make quite a duo, huh kiddo?" he teased. "You make the main and I make the dessert."

Castiel smiled shyly, cutting up the rest of the chicken and removed the wings and legs and set them on a plate for people to help themselves to if they wanted more. "I-I hope it's okay," he said quietly. "I tried a different recipe for the chicken." Dean just gave a thumbs up in response, his mouth stuffed like a hamster, making Castiel chuckle a little.

Dinner was pleasant as usual. They all caught up on what each couple had done that week and what their plans were for next week. Gabriel was thinking of renovating the bakery to include seats for people to eat inside. Again, Gabriel brought up the idea of him and Castiel running a café together. Castiel as usual, pretended not to hear him. Sam had a few more clients and got an interview to work for a mental hospital in the city. He wasn't sure if he was going to take it though. Dean talked about the garage. How Bobby was getting older and might be handing the business over to him soon.

And Castiel, he talked about wanting to go to the beach next weekend if Dean had the time. "You guys can come with us if you want. I'd love to have all the support I can get. I-I-If you don't mind, of course."

Sam smiled, pushing his empty plate out in front of him as he relaxed into his chair. "Sounds good. Haven't been to the beach since... well since college. It'd be nice to have a day by the sea. What do you think, babe?" Gabriel nodded in agreement, swallowing a gulp of wine.

Dean stood up, gathering the empty plates together to take into the kitchen. Gabriel stood up to help, going through to get his chocolate melts out of the oven where they'd been keeping warm. Dean silently helped Gabriel, getting out new plates to put the cakes on before they both went back through to the the dining room.

The rest of the night went well. Shortly after dessert, their was tea and coffee and a few extra discussions about movies they'd seen and books they'd read before things wound down and Sam and Gabriel went home, leaving Dean and Castiel to clean up the dishes before heading up to bed. Both curled up in one another, staring into each other's eyes.

"I had fun tonight," Castiel said quietly, playing with Dean's hair absently.

"I j-ust wish I-I could talk to Sam," Dean whispered, eyes closed as he leant into Castiel's touch.

"You will," Castiel said confidently. "I know you will. You talked to me, didn't you?" He smiled a little, trying to comfort Dean before curiously asking, "If I were Sam, what would you say to me?"

Dean looked at Castiel, a little taken back but he thought for a moment before answering. "I-I'm sorry about mom."

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