Open up to Me

Castiel is afraid to leave the house. His therapist and brother help him to make friends, resulting in meeting Dean, a shy mute, who might just be the only one capable of getting him to come out of his shell. | a Destiel fanfic with some Sabriel on the side | 39694 words |


3. Chapter 2

Open up to Me

Chapter 2


A week had passed and Castiel had spent the majority of his time preparing for Dean to come over again. He scrubbed the floors, washed the windows and dusted every item in the house, then did it all over again. Gabriel was beginning to worry. Castiel only got like this when something in his life changed. He'd get nervous and clean like crazy. He was about to verbalise his concern when Castiel finally spoke.

"I need these items precisely," Castiel instructed, handing Gabriel a detailed list of groceries. The piece of paper crinkle free with calligraphy styled writing. Blue ink, fountain pen. Castiel's usual script. And it only took him an hour and a half to compose, with four drafts. A personal best.

He'd spent a long time panicking over his choice of snacks. Last week Dean had said he liked movies. Action ones in particular. Castiel didn't watch many movies but he'd seen enough to be able to talk about them with Dean and not feel unintelligent. The only thing was, Dean had experienced the cinema and Castiel hadn't. He didn't understand that it wasn't just about the movie. It was about the atmosphere, the food and the people you watched it with.

So Castiel had gone online and researched what people did at the cinema. What they ate and what they talked about. He'd then spent two days in his head. What if Dean doesn't like popcorn? Salt or sweet? Would he have butter with it? Why would you have butter on it? Maybe hotdogs would be a better idea. What if he's allergic to mustard? Brown or white rolls? How do you even eat them? What if he doesn't want snacks? He'll think I'm trying too hard. Then he won't come around again. Castiel watched Gabriel closely as he read the list, hoping his brother wasn't thinking what Castiel had been. He thought he'd gotten the list just right. He didn't want Gabriel to tell him he'd done it wrong.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at the list. "Hersey's Chocolate Milk, Jiffy-Pop, Red Vines Originals..." Gabriel read of the list, brows knitting together as he read further down the list. He looked back up at his brother with a curious expression. "This isn't your usual list."

Castiel bit his lip, nerves beginning to seize up again. He hated lying to his brother but he'd promise Dean they'd make this their little secret. And honestly, Castiel felt a little giddy at the thought of sharing something with someone besides his brother. Despite the fact that the thought of change and taking a risk had made him feel queazy on more than one occasion.

"It's for a movie night," Castiel began, at least that part was true. "I thought I'd try the 'movie theatre experience' you're always talking about."

Gabriel looked suspicious but didn't say anything. Maybe Sam and Dean's visit had been good for him. Giving him the confidence to come out of his shell a little. "Alright. I've got a date with Sam tonight so I'll go to store and get your, uh, snacks and then I'll see you tomorrow. You gonna be okay, kiddo?"

Castiel nodded quickly, too self involved to realize Gabriel was dating again. He was too concerned about everything going well with Dean to be aware of his elder brother's issues. He took note to confront him tomorrow about it. Especially if his brother and therapist where becoming romantically entangled.

Gabriel left and returned 28 minutes later with all of Castiel's require items. He then left again reminding Castiel to stay safe and ring him if there was an emergency. As soon as the door clicked shut, Castiel went back to work, cleaning everything in sight before laying out the snacks on the coffee table.

There were two large green bowls set neatly in the middle of the table. Each one containing either, popcorn or potato chips. Then two small dark green bowls sat together and to the side of the potato chip bowl, containing various dips. Castiel's favourite mug sat on the corner of the table, besides his regular spot on the couch. It contained cranberry and orange tea, something to comfort Castiel amongst all the change. A tall glass containing Hershey's chocolate milk (Dean's favourite) sat on the other corner of the table next to the other corner of the couch. He added a crazy straw to the glass. Something he'd seen Gabriel do to make his drink more 'fun'. He placed the Red Vines and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups together behind the bowls and nodded quickly at his work. Hopefully Dean would like this.

Speaking of which, a small knock on the door startled Castiel from his train of thought. He bit his lip anxiously. His breathing rate increased a little but he told himself to breathe deeply and count to ten. When he got to eight he felt better and slowly headed towards the door, peering through the curtain to check who it was before opening the door a crack to see Dean standing there with a small smile.

Dean looked nicer than he had the first time he'd come over. He wore a navy beanie hat which made his hair stick up at the front. A matching coloured fitted jacket with a black and white striped hoodie beneath. He also wore jeans and black converses. Castiel was beginning to regret not taking more time to consider his appearance. He'd been so worried about the night's events he hadn't even thought about looks. He blushed deeply, hiding behind the door a little. Dean just smiled and signed:

Hey, buddy. You look nice. May I come in?

Castiel frowned a little and blushed even more. He was just wearing his regular clothes. A loose green shirt which stretched tight under his fitted black jacket. Simple jeans and black socks. He didn't wear shoes inside. He nodded and stepped back to open the door further to let Dean inside.

Thank you. You do too.

Both shared nervous smiles and stood uncertainly together in the hallway. Castiel felt his breathing become quicker and his palms became sweaty. He swallowed thickly, looking up at Dean and tried to focus on his freckles.


I brought the movies.

Castiel blinked, shaking his head and tried to focus on what Dean just signed. He gave a look of confusion before Dean hesitantly pulled out two DVDs from his backpack and held them up as evidence to justify what he'd said.

Oh. Castiel smiled, taking the two cases carefully from Dean and examined them. The Blues Brothers was one of the films. Castiel had actually seen that one. His brother was a big John Belushi fan. The other was a film he hadn't seen, Wanted. He held up The Blues Brothers and smiled. He figured if they started with something familiar thing might be easier. "L-Let's start with this one," he decided, trying to be bold and take the lead. It paid off. Dean gave him a small smile and put Wanted back in his bag as he toed off his shoes and lined them up neatly to the side. He didn't want to disrupt Castiel's order.

Castiel watched Dean and he could feel himself relax. Dean was perfect. He was trying just as hard as he was to keep the other comfortable. They seemed to be working well together. After a moment, Castiel showed Dean to the other room and the mute's eyes lit up.

Wow! This looks great!

"Are you sure? It's not too much?" Castiel asked quietly, biting his lip.

Dean shook his head, sitting down in the opposite corner of the couch as Castiel sat down too.

Not at all. It's perfect. Is this mine?

He pointed at the milk, eyeing it like it was the last glass of chocolate milk on the planet. He looked like a little kid being taken out for ice cream. Oh. Ice cream. He should have gotten ice cream. Damn. Dean stopped his train of thought. He looked so happy. Castiel decided that it was enough.

"Yeah, it's yours. There's more in the fridge too, if you want some," Castiel said quietly, wrapping his hands around his mug and held his cooling tea close to his chest. Dean gave a warm smile. Touched Castiel had gone to the trouble to cater to his needs. He understood things like this were hard for Castiel. Sam had briefed him a little before they'd come over last week. Dean only wished he had the confidence to tell Castiel how much this meant to him. He was afraid to look like a weirdo for getting so happy over milk.

Thank you.

Castiel smiled back at Dean and watched as Dean happily drank through the crazy straw like a happy little kid. It was adorable really. Castiel had to tell himself to stop staring. Dean wouldn't like it. He quickly looked away, sipping at his tea and sighed, relaxing a little in Dean's company.

They remained this way for a while before Castiel felt confident he wouldn't panic today. He could make it through a movie in Dean's presence and that thought made him smile. He placed his tea on the side and picked up the DVD, stepping over towards the TV when his leg caught the end of the table and knocked over the popcorn bowl. Oh no.

He bit his lip, falling to his knees as he quickly scooped the popcorn back into the bowl. His face growing red with embarrassment. He swallowed thickly, keeping his head down. This wasn't good. He'd ruined everything. He'd made an idiot of himself and now Dean was going to get mad and- He gasped, recoiling his hand as he felt another brush against his. He looked up instantly seeing Dean by his side, assisting him to clean up the mess.

He shook his head, curling in on himself a little as he felt his heart beating erratically in his chest. "You need to leave," he whispered, panic creeping up again. He'd been doing so well. It embarrassed him, knowing how easily his mood could change. He really liked Dean but he didn't want to burden him with his problems just yet. They'd only just met. He didn't feel comfortable leaning on him like he did with his brother.

Dean's eyes widened, unsure what to do. He finished placing the popcorn in the bowl and place it to the side on the table so it wouldn't get knocked over again. He looked over at Castiel with a frown. He didn't want to leave. Castiel didn't look well. He couldn't just leave him like this. What if something bad happened? He bit the inside of his cheek nervously, reaching out a hesitant hand for Castiel's.

Castiel's eye widened, staring at the hand covering his. He felt his breathing rate increase but he didn't feel like it was him. He felt like he was watching over himself. Watching as his body broke down for the fourteenth time this week. Panicky tears slid down his face as he tried to move away but Dean was persistent yet not in a threatening way. It was weird. What was weirder was if he listened carefully over the sound of his quiet sobs, he could hear Dean faintly whistling to him.

More than anything, Dean decided confusion is what distracted Castiel enough to calm him down. Dean wasn't a strong whistler but he'd managed to perfect the sound between his teeth enough to sing a few tunes. With enough practise, Dean had nailed 'Hey Jude' to a tee. It was a song his mother sang to him as a child. One he'd wanted to sing to his own children. If only he had a voice of his own.

Castiel felt a gentle hand wipe away his tears and continue to whistle a soothing tune to him. He didn't recognise the tune but it was soft and gentle and if Castiel concentrated on it enough he soon began to calm down. Castiel didn't know what to say. Dean had done it. He'd brought him back. He barely knew him and he'd brought him back. The man was a saint. And definitely Castiel's new best friend.

"Y-You've got my back," Castiel said, looking up in surprise at Dean, remembering his conversation with Gabriel about friendship.

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. Glad to see Castiel was calming down. He smiled warmly. Surprised Castiel was so shocked by Dean's gesture to hep. He nodded briefly before signing:

I've got your back.

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