Open up to Me

Castiel is afraid to leave the house. His therapist and brother help him to make friends, resulting in meeting Dean, a shy mute, who might just be the only one capable of getting him to come out of his shell. | a Destiel fanfic with some Sabriel on the side | 39694 words |

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13. Chapter 12

Open up to Me

Chapter 12

 

Two weeks went by. Dean came over every other day after work to Castiel's. They'd watch movies, sit in the garden, play with Butterscotch, have dinner. Dean even managed to get Castiel to walk with him down the street. It was short lived though when it began to rain, but neither seemed to mind when they got to wrap up in the warmth of Castiel's home, with mugs of tea and kisses, under yet another one of Castiel's blanket forts.

It was Wednesday afternoon when Dean knocked on the door with a small nervous expression. Castiel cocked his head in confusion, leaning forward to peck Dean's lips but his anxious expression remained causing Castiel to pull back in concern.

"Is everything alright, Dean?" he asked, worry evident in his voice when Dean had yet to say anything. They weren't scheduled to meet for another hour or so. Castiel felt uneasy not keeping to plans but when it came to Dean, he didn't mind as much. He felt comfortable around him.

I was going to buy Sam and Gabriel a wedding present.

Castiel stared blankly at Dean. "Okay," he said simply, looking Dean up and down in confusion. "So... why are you here?" He noticed the way Dean flinched a little and he bit his lip guiltily. "N-Not that I don't like having you around. It's just... well you usually go to a store to buy things."

Dean scrubbed the back of his neck nervously. He wouldn't look at him properly and that made Castiel's chest well up with worry. This wouldn't be good.

I thought you might want to come with me.

Yup. Called it. "I... Dean, I, uh... you know I can't do that," he said almost regrettably. He hated not being able to go out with Dean but it was hard. He'd been getting better, yes, but to go to a store? That was a step Castiel wasn't sure he could take. It was too much.

I won't push you, but how are you gonna make it to Gabriel's wedding if you can't even go to the store?

Dean had a point. He swallowed thickly. He couldn't possibly do this. It was too much. He bit his lip worryingly in thought. He really did want to see his brother get married. This would be a good step to take. He had Dean here. It'd be fine. Wouldn't it? He had to try... right?

Dean took a tentative step forward, cupping Castiel's cheek softly so he could peck Castiel's lips tenderly before stepping back again.

I've got the car. If anything happens, we'll drive straight home. I promise.

Castiel looked over Dean's shoulder to see a 1967 Chevy Impala in almost mint condition parked in his driveway. He looked back at Dean to see him sporting a hopeful, yet supportive, look. He gave a nervous smile and nodded timidly. "I-I'll just get my keys," he said quietly, retreating back into the house to take a deep breath and gather his nerves and his possessions.

Dean was nervous. They hadn't taken it this far yet but he wanted to help Castiel get better. Castiel may not know it, but he inspired him. He was helping him gain confidence to speak again. He hadn't said much, but he'd managed to bark back at Butterscotch one morning, causing the little puppy to fall off the bed in shock, making Dean laugh to the point of crying. It'd been an emotional morning to say the least.

Castiel returned a few minutes later with a slightly giddy expression. He was nervous as hell, but he thought he could do this. Dean hadn't warned him in advance. It was spontaneous and in the moment. Castiel could do this. Not think about it and just go with it. That was the way to get through this, right?

Dean looked Castiel over and noticed the way he trembled ever so slightly. He wrapped him up in his arms and kissed him sweetly, trying to distract him for the initial step of what might be the biggest step they'd taken so far. Castiel kissed back and Dean felt him relax against him. He took that as a good sign as he pulled back enough to lead Castiel out to the car.

Castiel was hesitant, obviously, but once they were in the car and outside the store. Castiel started laughing nervously. Dean looked at him curiously and Castiel rubbed the back of his neck absently with trembling, sweaty hands.

"I-I've been getting Gabriel to buy my groceries from here f-for 20 years. I-I don't think I've ever been inside a Walmart before," Castiel said, voice wavering and thick with emotion.

Dean bit his lip and held his hand out for Castiel, entwining their fingers and keeping him close. He pressed a soft kiss to his temple. Letting Castiel know he was here and he'd be okay.

Tentatively, Dean began to walk into the store. Castiel plodding along after him with nervous wide eyes, which looked around in awe. He was left speechless. The place was so big and colourful and everything was arranged by assortments of food. Everything had a place and everything was labelled. Castiel could find the exits quickly if he wanted to. It didn't seem too bad. Now that he was here.

He squeezed Dean's hand a little as they looked around. Dean stopped every so often to make sure Castiel was okay. When he said he'd manage, they continued, walking through the store and picking up things as they went, putting them into a basket Dean was carrying with his other hand.

They got to the appliance section. Dean picked up a waffle iron like it wasn't a tough choice to make, and they made their way to the checkout. The shop took twelve minutes to buy eighteen items. Dean didn't waste time and knew what he wanted. Castiel was impressed and glad for it. He didn't want to be there any longer than necessary.

The checkout girl had blue highlights and a disgusted look on her face. Castiel was oblivious as to why and just stood there, keeping a tight grip on Dean's hand. When it was their turn to be served, she simply rolled her eyes, put the items through the scanner and said. "Homosexuality is a sin."

Castiel's eyes widened between Dean and the girl. He didn't know what to say to that. Even if he could. He wouldn't be able to. His heart sped up a bit. The people in the cue behind them were watching and he felt like they were on display. Dean was signing to her but she just scoffed again.

"I'm sorry. I don't speak retard."

Dean's face reddened, out of anger or embarrassment, Castiel wasn't sure. When he signed to ask for the manager, Castiel tugged on his sleeve like a lost child and looked at him with watery wide eyes, pleading for him not to make a scene. If not for him, then for Castiel's sake.

Dean got the message, deflating a little. He pulled out his wallet and threw some notes at her, picked up their stuff and stormed off, leaving Castiel to quickly trotter alongside him.

They made it out to the car where Castiel proceeded to clamber into the backseat and sob violently. His face burning red as he let out all the emotion and stress he'd been trying to keep in to appear normal. For once. Just to go to the shops without having an emotional breakdown amongst the organic produce.

Dean had put the items in the trunk when he looked around for Castiel. He couldn't see him and began to panic. He bit his lip nervously, looking through the passenger seat window to see if he was already in the car but he wasn't there. It was only when he went to move away did he see something move in the backseat. He saw Castiel there. Crying. And it broke his heart.

He went around the other side of the car and got in the back, closing the door gently. Castiel heard him though, and looked up. Looking mortified and embarrassed. "I-I'm so s-sorry," he sobbed.

Again, Dean's heart sank, and all he could do was gather the lost soul up in his arms and hold him close. He wished he could tell Castiel how much he loved him. How much he wished he didn't have to suffer like this. But he couldn't. He wasn't strong enough to do that. All he could do was press a tender kiss to Castiel's temple and wish for his Castiel to calm down.

It took twenty minutes of just holding and kissing Castiel for him to calm down. When he did, he couldn't look at Dean. Too ashamed that he'd messed everything up again. That's when he first heard it. In the back of Dean's Impala having a nervous breakdown outside of Walmart. Dean's first words.

"I-I'm... pr-proud of you."

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