What Hurts The Most

This is my entry (the songfic category) for Fanfiction Royale. I'm excited! This is my first songfic, and it's the song What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts. It's a Harry Potter.



1. I Love You









A/N: This is my (songfic) entry for Fanfiction Royale. It's a Harry Potter songfic. (What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts). Drarry. Depressing. Sad. Feels. Lyrics Underlined.


Warning: Hints at Self-harm, alcohol usage, past suicide attempts , suicide. FEELS, FEELS, AND MORE FEELS! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!


Disclaimer: This is fanfiction. I don't own it. 


I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

​Two years. It's been two years since he died. 


That don't bother me


No, he didn't die physically. That wasn't him. He died mentally, in all other senses of the word. But not physically. No, never physically. He just wasn't allowed to die. The suicide band on his wrist prevents that. 


I can take a few tears now and then
And just let 'em out


Two years since his love died. Sure, it was probably unrequited, but he just couldn't help it. That blonde hair, his pale skin, and grey eyes like a storm. 


I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

He misses the laughs. The smirks, sneers, and insults. He misses the curses, and the way that face lit up when he smiled. 


Even though going on with you gone still upsets me


He sometimes wonders what would've happened had he stopped him, taken his hand, and told him he loved him. 


Or maybe if he had told him not to fight, or to duck when that curse flew at him.


There are days every now and again
I pretend I'm ok, but that's not what gets me


​Nowadays, he just exists. The war may be over, but they didn't win. With him gone, there is no reason to celebrate. His days consist of a strict schedule:


Wake up from nightmare




Drag himself to the bathroom to shower, and get ready 


Go out with Ron and Hermione 


Fake a smile, force a laugh, and pretend he's okay


Walk home












Cry himself to sleep.

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away


But out of everything, the pain of losing him, and the damage he does to his body, that's not what hurts him the most.


The fact that he didn't say anything before that day. The fact that he tried to hide his feelings. The fact that he never got to kiss those beautiful lips, or run his fingers through that silky platinum hair, or tell him he loved him.


And never knowin'
What could've been


He wishes he knew what could've been. Oh, does he wish.


And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was trying to do


If only he had realised, he thinks now, as he brings the bottle to his lips, if only he had known.

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you every where I go
But I'm doin' it


It's hard, he thinks, as he dons his coat, but I'm trying. Even if I'm failing miserably, I'm still trying.

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

He tries to force the smile today, but it falters, before dropping completely. He tries to pretend, he tells them he's fine, that he'll get over it. They believe him.


Still harder

Gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret, but I know


He leaves them at the café, claiming he needs some fresh air. It's a lie, and he knows it. They do, too, but they don't say anything.


If I could do it over
I would trade, give away, show the words that I saved in my heart


As soon as his feet hit the pavement, he's running. Running without a conscious destination.


that I left unspoken

He ends up arriving at the graveyard.

What hurts the most
Is being so close


He kneels in front of the grave, before silently collapsing to his knees. His magic lashes out, and throws the suicide band off into a murky puddle.


And havin' so much to say

And watchin' you walk away

The rain is pouring down, but he doesn't notice. His body is visibly shaking as the sobs wrack his body, his black T-shirt clinging to his skin. 


And never knowin'
What could've been


He loses track of time. 


And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do


He reaches into his jacket pocket, and pulls out his wand.

Uhh hey yeaaaaaaaaah!

His hands, slippery from the rain, fumble with the handle 


What hurts the most
Was being so close


He laughs bitterly at the thought of what the papers would say.


And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away


He raises the wand, glancing over the edge at the stone.


And never knowin'
What could've been


"I love you."


And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do


The last thing he sees before the green light hits him is that mocking gravestone.


Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do


Draco Lucien Malfoy




'He was a warrior, and he fought to the end. May he go down in history'

Ohh ohh!


Little did Harry know, he would meet his love soon, for Draco was always with him, his last words always on the tip of his tongue.


"I love you, Harry Potter."

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