Story review

This is a REAL story review. I WILL be 100% honest with these reviews and I WILL be a little harsh if your story is not that good....
I will be rating the stories out of a score of 100%
My grading system will be
0-10% : Do you seriously think this is a story? A baby can write better...
20-30% : This story needs some MAJOR fixes. Your spelling isn't even the worse part of the way it is written.
40-50% : This story is not that int resting because of the way it was written., I only gotten through the first few pages.
60-70% : There is potential of this story. There are some things that need to be fixed.
80% : This story seems to be on the road of being the best story in ONE theme in Movellas.
90% : This story is amazing! There is no doubt that with this story and your writing that this story will take you places.
100% : This story is the best out of them all! Stories like these deserve to be published in real life!
...
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ASK THEM AND I WILL ANSWER THEM ALL.

5Likes
27Comments
1332Views
AA

4. THE BLACKMAIL PROJECT

I ALWAYS read the description first and if I am honest your description doesn’t seem like a story description. It’s more like a plain unoriginal One Direction fan fiction ( I DO NOT HATE 1D, I USE TO BE A BIG FAN OF THEM.)

I feel like your description does not give the readers a feel of the story.

One amazing story description is by the book FLOWERS FOR ALGERNON, “Flowers for Algernon is a character study of one man, Charlie Gordon. Charlie is a 32-year-old developmentally disabled man who has the opportunity to undergo a surgical procedure that will dramatically increase his mental capabilities. This procedure had already been performed on a laboratory mouse, Algernon, with remarkable results. Charlie will be the first human subject.In a series of progress reports, Charlie documents everything that happens to him. As Charlie's intelligence increases to a genius level, the reader not only reads about the changes from Charlie's viewpoint, but also sees the change evidenced in Charlie's writing ability. This jump in intelligence is not necessarily a good thing, however. Charlie is now able to recall past events that shaped his life and analyze past friendships for what they were, or weren't. He also has difficulty making new friendships and establishing new relationships due to a lack of social intelligence that the surgery could neither correct nor anticipate. And, finally, because of his increased intelligence, Charlie is able to discover the experiment's "fatal flaw" and is reduced to watching the end for both Algernon and himself, hoping to salvage something for the future from his brief bout with genius.”

Not a lot of people want their story description to be that long and it doesn’t have to. It could be like the description from Twilight New moon, “After Bella recovers from the vampire attack that almost claimed her life, she looks to celebrate her birthday with Edward and his family. However, a minor accident during the festivities results in Bella's blood being shed, a sight that proves too intense for the Cullens, who decide to leave the town of Forks, Washington for Bella and Edward's sake. Initially heartbroken, Bella finds a form of comfort in reckless living, as well as an even-closer friendship with Jacob Black. Danger in different forms awaits.”

If you don’t like any of those make your own but make sure that it’s something that can attach the readers to your story.

Another thing that you would want to completely redo is your first chapter “prologue” I was not sure if you were talking about yourself or the girl in your story.

Other than that your story is amazing! You have very college level words and your transition sentences are just the best! Although, I feel that by the seventh chapter you don’t seem to have as much details and your chapters are getting shorter. This makes the readers think one of these two things.

You don’t really like how your story turned out. You are almost done with the story. You do not know what else to right.

RATE: 60%

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