"Why would I need you?"

"Because I need you"


9. Nine

Today, it has been two whole weeks since Jimin passed away, leaving me. Two awfully hard and long weeks.

No one is the same anymore, we haven’t hung out as a group ever since he left us.

Jin has barely been eating, he continues to ignore us and walks away every time we gather to eat together or having lunch in school.

Namjoon is trying hard to move on and continue his life as if nothing happened. He even got a part-time job at a gas station, trying to pull his life together.

Taehyung has been awfully quiet ever since. He only says things when he feels it’s necessary, before he would spit out whatever came to his mind. It feels really empty without him running around, making random alien like noises.

Suga didn't say anything anymore. All he did was sleep. 

The one I worry about the most is our Golden Maknae, Jungkook. Ever since Jimin’s death, he has been disappearing a lot, just to be found with multiple bruises, black eyes and blood on his face. I know he has been fighting, to keep his mind of things. He took Jimin’s death the hardest out of us all. He truly loved Jimin, he was like the brother he never had. You could tell that they were the tightest in the group.

They had a lot in common both in interest and regarding their pasts. I know Jungkook have been fighting to keep his mind off Jimin. Some days he turn up looking worse than he did the time before. He is trying so hard to smile and show me that he is okay.

But I know he’s not okay at all. None of us are.

I know that he’s not happy. None of us truly are anymore.



Something is always missing. Everyday.


His smile.


His laugh.


His eyes.





“Don’t cry” I feel arms embrace me and this is the first time I notice that I’m crying. Just thinking about Jimin makes me emotional. We weren’t together for that long but he was really fucking important to me. He was the reason to me still being here after Halmeoni died.

One thing he said is constantly on my mind. “Because I need you”.

He needed me as much as I needed him but he put my problems before his and probably bottled it all up. I feel horrible for forgetting to ask how he was, if he ever wanted to talk. Maybe then, just maybe he wouldn’t have disappeared from this world.

If I wasn’t so selfish.

If only.



“Stop thinking about it, you couldn’t have done anything. None of us could”

But I could.

I could have been there for him as I was supposed to be.

I should be dead not Jimin.

I shou-

“Stop it” he yelled

“You couldn’t have done anything to prevent this.” “But I-“ “No, You couldn’t” Taehyung yelled at me, his eyes were fierce and darker than usual, they were also a bit puffy. He had been crying.

I slowly glanced away from his eyes, slipping into my own thoughts once more.

“Look at me!” He yelled and shook me violently to turn my face towards his once again. I jumped out of fear but quickly recovered and met his glares.

“Jimin” He started. I frowned, trying to stop my tears from flowing down again, concentrating on what he is about to say.

“He loved us all, we all were special in his eyes. You were only an ounce more special than me” he winked trying to lighten the mood a bit before frowning again. “Stop beating yourself up over something none of us could have stopped. It’s been two weeks. Namjoon is the only one of us all that is trying to move on.”

I listened to every word he said. Breathing in and hearing every word. He was right. I knew he was. From the beginning. I just had problem accepting it. I want to believe that there was something I could have done.

“I-“ I started when I heard the familiar ringtone emerging from my phone. I broke away from Taehyung’s eyes and started looking for my phone in my pockets. Taehyung had removed his hands from my arms and taken a step back, he was now looking at me with asking eyes.

“Jungkook” said the called ID. My eyes widened in shock and I tried to hurry to answer the call. My fingers were slippery on the screen. “Jungkook!” I yelled out once I finally had answered. “Noona, Annyeong!” he said with a happy yet sad voice. “Jungkook-ah” I cried out in relief of finally hearing his voice once again. “Don’t cry noona. I hate it when you cry. I just wanted you to know that I was fine. I’m coming to visit you guys today. Meet me at the usual place.” He said quickly before hanging up. “Ya-“ I stared at my phone in disbelief, he dared hanging up on me?

“What did he say?” I sighed loudly in annoyance and put my phone back into my pocket before pushing my dark hair out of my face and looking up to meet Taehyung’s eyes once again.

“He told us to meet him at our usual place.” I said and my feet started to walk towards our place automatically. I heard V’s footsteps a bit behind me, trying to catch up. “Call the guys and tell them” I told Taehyung and heard him dialing a number a few seconds after I said that.

We all were soon going to be together again. It’s been two weeks since we all have been together.

I felt a part of me wishing to see Jimin there,

as if he never died,

he never left us.

Like he had always been there.

I could feel my heart racing faster, the closer I got.

My feet were almost running now.

“Yah Min-rin!” Taehyung yelled after me, I ignored his calls, I was completely focused on meeting Jimin.

He was going to tell me that everything was okay, that he’s here, that he never left me.

I need him



I saw our place, the matrass in the middle of the pool like area. I saw 6 silhouettes of people. Six. Not five. Six. That could only mean one thing.

I ran.

As fast as I could.

“Jimin” I called out to the all too familiar back.

“Noona…” I heard Jungkook say as I came closer.

I frowned, I swear I saw Jimin. “Yah, where’s Jimin? I saw him, he was here” I laughed nervously as I started to look for him in the area. “Jimin!” I yelled. “Noona, stop.” Jungkook begged grabbing my hand, trying to make me stop looking. “Ani, Jungkook. He’s here. I know he is.” My breathing were getting faster and more urgent.

“ He is here.” “ I know it” I kept repeating these words, watching the guys looking at me with pity in their eyes. “Stop pitying me, he is here” I yelled. I ran my hands through my hair. Am I going crazy?

“Stop it” Taehyung yelled. “I told you to stop it” I stopped in my tracks. “I don’t want to.” I whispered, my head fell, I noticed that my hands and legs were shivering. It’s not that cold, is it?

“He’s here” I whispered “I know it”

“Noona. He’s not here” Jungkook whispered back as he walked over to me. He took my face in his hands, forcing me to meet his gaze.

His gaze was the last thing I wanted to meet. His eyes were full of sorrow. He shouldn’t have those kind of eyes, he’s still young. His eyes should be filled with innocence, happiness and love.

I started blinking quickly and bit my lower lip before letting out a whimper. “ He’s here” I cried. “Jimin!” I yelled and broke down, falling onto my knees, tightly holding onto the hem of Jungkook’s shirt.

I heard the guys sniffing behind me. “He loved us” Taehyung stated.

“I know” we all answered.

We knew he loved us.

He cared about our problems and helped us before helping himself.

He was there for us no matter what time it was.



He loved us.

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