Change Me [Justin Bieber]


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13. Chapter Thirteen

I had been staring at him speechless ever since we entered the living room and sat down. I was so out of words from that kiss.

“Look I know I should have called you or messaged you or something but I can’t change that now. I’ve been really busy and I haven’t spoken with anyone. I’ve been booked from early morning till late evening and when I heard your message I started working even more because I didn’t know what to do about myself. Don’t you get it Amy? Getting you to New York was never about the music but about me getting to know you. I wanted to know you and I wanted to give you this chance, and I’ve wanted you back ever since the moment you left.”

I was still speechless and he kept speaking so the only thing I could do was look at him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to do this Amy? The music… us?”

I looked up at him as if I wanted to answer but I didn’t know how to get my voice to work.

“Getting you to New York was never about the music but about you as a person. It was about saving someone who was willing to let herself be saved and it was the only way I could get to you. I am in love with you Amy, in every way possible. I love you with all of my heart, and when you said you didn’t know about us, you broke my heart. You broke my heart into a billion pieces and all I wanted was to get you back. But I couldn’t not until I saw you on the news and the things I had done to you. That’s why I’m here.”

“You ruined me… broke me down piece by piece and you expect me to forgive you? Answer me one thing, and please be honest. Are you ashamed of me?”

“What no! I’ve never been ashamed of you.”

“Then why didn’t you tell them the truth?”

“I didn’t have a choice!”

“You didn’t have a choice? That’s been your excuse for everything for the past long time. Get out.”

“Amy please just listen to me.”

“Listen to you? You broke my heart, you left me wondering. I know what I said to you was horrible and after everything I’ve been through the past month, hell I wish I could take it back but what you said broke me. It tore me apart.”

We were both standing up in the living room. My mum was out in the hall with my dad who was finally there to support me after all this time… I didn’t understand what was going on right now, tears were streaming down my cheeks and I just wanted it all to end the entire nightmare I was in right now needed to stop because it was breaking me down piece by piece. He walked closer to me and held his arms around me. Right now I was surrendering to him. I wanted him so badly but I was still so angry with him for everything that he had said and done to me. The way he had made me feel was worse than anything I had ever felt… He softly placed his lips on my forehead as if he had outgrown me and whispered sweet things to me.

“Everything is going to be okay. It’s okay for you to be angry with me, but please don’t shut me out of your life forever. I can’t live in a world where I don’t have you with me. I love you Amy with all of my heart and I am truly sorry for everything I’ve said and done. I never ever meant to hurt you my little angel. I love you so so much.”

He held me tighter as he spoke. I was sure he was crying but I couldn’t look him in the eyes right now. It was just too much for me. We stood there for a very long time just crying and thinking and enjoying the company of the other person even though everything was so filled with pain in the moment we were in.

Later that day we sat down in my room. Justin had left the house earlier when we had spoken and finally let go of each other. I guess he understood that I needed a little time, but shortly after my parents and I had finished our dinner he had come back because he wasn’t done talking to me and I certainly wasn’t done with him. That was one thing I had figured out after he had left. I never wanted him to leave. It was too strange to be here when he wasn’t around now that he had been here.

“So what do you say?”

He was lying in my bed looking around the bedroom. I had a beautiful girly room with a little bit of everything around in it but I loved my room and every little thing in it.

“What do I say about what?”

I lay my head on his stomach and rested it there looking at the ceiling and around the room. He took my hand as I lay there and looked at me with begging eyes. I knew what he wanted me to answer but I wanted to hear him say it again.

“About us Amy Johnson… What do you want us to be?”

“I thought you didn’t know me.”

“Let me know you in every way possible. Let me love you in every way possible. I wanna be with you in every possible way there is. I want to spend my life with you and make you mine.”

“Such a flirt you have become little Justin.”

“So what do you say?”

“Are you gonna leave me here? Or can I come back to New York?”

“You can come to New York whenever you want to.”

“And my music?”

“What do you want with your music?”

“I wanna make a name for myself.”

“We’ll make you a name then.”

He smiled at me and stroke my cheek. He really wanted to do this. He really wanted me to be with him to infinity.

“My little beautiful girl.”

I felt the butterflies in my stomach as he said that. It was an amazing feeling whenever he was taking to me like this. I turned around so I was lying beside him and looking into his eyes. We were alone in my room and I felt safe in my own house for the first time in a very long time.

“My beautiful boy.”

I whispered the words and felt insecure saying them but when he placed his lips over mine so I could feel him close to me I knew I had nothing to be insecure about because he was all real and he was there for me all of him.

“So what’s going to happen now?”

I looked at him waiting for an answer that I could actually use for something.

“Maybe we should do a cover for your YouTube channel together.”

“Maybe that will have to wait till the morning as I’m too sleep and I haven’t sung in a long time.”

“You sang today.”

“How do you…?”

“Your friend told me.”

“Kristy?”

“Yeah…”

“When did you speak with her?”

“After you left school. She gave me your address and told me to go here so I could find you.”

I sat up in my bed and looked down at him as he was lying there.

“What else did she tell you?”

“Everything… she told me everything.”

I was speechless. I couldn’t believe someone who was such a good friend of mine would actually tell Justin everything that had been going on.

“She told me you’ve been down a lot after you got home and how you almost gave up. She told me how you had reacted when you had seen what I said about you to the media.”

“I was heartbroken you know that you know me better than she does and you still had to hear it from her.”

“Don’t be mad her or me. I drove all the way here for you.”

“You drove all the way from New York to Chicago? Why the fuck didn’t you take a plane?”

“Because I wanted it to be special and I needed a lot of time to think about how I wanted to find you and what I wanted to say when I did find you.”

He sat up and I sat down beside him. He was still sweet but I was still so confused about everything and it was all just dancing around in my mind. He wrapped an arm around me and cuddled me into him. It was a great feeling and I felt better when he was close to me. It was like the missing part of me was there when he was there with me.

“Let’s get some rest and figure it all out tomorrow. Okay?”

“Okay.”

He kissed my cheek but that wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to feel him closer than that. I turned around to properly face him and placed my lips softly over his, when I was about to pull back Justin pulled me closer. He wasn’t done and honestly neither was I but I needed to turn my mind off of everything just for a little time. 

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