Change Me [Justin Bieber]


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9. Chapter Nine

I woke up to the sound of my own voice, but this was different. It was me singing, but there was no music in the background. It was my cover of Halo, and it sounded very amazing, though this was an acapella version of it. I looked around the bedroom, but there was no one to see. The door was a bit open, so I decided to get up and look after Justin. As I got up from the bed, something felt different from when I had gone. I wasn’t wearing my bra, and the shirt I was in, was way too big to be mine. My pants had been taken off as well, but I was relieved when I noticed I was still wearing panties. Did Justin undress me and put me to bed?

I got up from the bed, only to find out the shirt I was wearing was big enough to cover my bum. This could not have been his shirt, unless he actually did own something this big. I went out into the living room comfortable enough to show off the many scars I had across my legs and arms, but the sound didn’t come from here. Where was he at?

“Justin?”

I said his name out loud, and the effect his name had gotten on my lips, was the same the music had. He had gotten the magical touch over me, and I was scared of it, as I hadn’t been here for a very long time.

Justin appeared from the kitchen and smiled all over his face. He was wearing his surfer shorts and no shirt. At the top of his shorts you could see his boxers.

“You’re alive.”

“Of course?”

He smiled at me and went back out into the kitchen to treat himself with whatever he was doing.

“Did you change my clothes after I passed out last night?”

“Last night? Babe I’m cooking dinner for us. You’ve been sleeping all afternoon.”

“What?”

“It’s still the day of the studio.”

“Then why did you change my clothes?”

“Because you looked really uncomfortable.”

He smiled at me before putting whatever he was making on some plates and handing one to me. Honestly I wasn’t hungry and I wasn’t in the mood for eating either.

“When did you get up?”

“About an hour after you passed out.”

“And what time is it?”

“8.30pm.”

“Oh…”

“C’mon, let’s get something to eat.”

“I’m not really hungry…”

I put the plate down on the table I was about to sit down at and looked at the food on it. I hadn’t really any idea what it was, but it looked good.

“You haven’t really had anything all day.”

“I’m still not hungry.”

“Amy, please eat something, for me?”

I took my fork and filled it with some of the salad from the plate and filled my mouth with it. As I chew it was like it got bigger in my mouth and I felt like vomiting as I felt choked on the leaves.

“Satisfied?”

I looked at him as I finally got to sink the salad. I lay my fork on the plate and looked at him weirdly. Before he got to say anything I found my phone and put on some music. I felt like I needed it to speak right now. As soon as I had laid my phone on the table beside my plate Justin took it and turned it off.

“What are you doing?!”

I looked at him, kinda scared yet really annoyed.

“Don’t be like this Amy.”

“I’m just not hungry ok?”

“Fine.”

He took his plate and went out into the kitchen to eat. I rolled my eyes before returning to my bedroom and continue out into the bathroom where I went into the shower. I took the shirt and my panties off and sat down on the tile floor. I leaned my head against the wall and sat there with the water dripping down over me. I took a few deep breaths and looked around the shower. I remembered that I had forgotten a towel to dry myself after the shower.

The door opened and I heard Justin enter the bathroom.

“Amy?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m coming in.”

The feeling that filled my body was a mixture of scared and happy. I wanted him to come in, but something inside of me was scared. He was gonna see my body, my tattoo, my scars, the wounds, the bruises. It was all painted on me, the pain I was feeling. The curtain was pushed away and he stood there naked before me.

“Hey.”

He looked comfortable in the situation he had just put himself into, but he wasn’t surprised to see me rather uncomfortable with the situation. I had pushed myself up against the wall and tried to cover up myself and my bruises and scars.

“Don’t look at me.”

“But you’re beautiful.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I would never ever lie to you Amy.”

He slowly moved closer to me and took a hold on both of my wrist and made me spread my arms before he placed them around his neck and placed his own arms around me. I wasn’t really able to move after being introduced to this new feeling. It felt… good? It all seemed very fragile and I couldn’t really believe it was happening to me right now. Justin was humming one of his songs in my ear while swinging us from side to side. It all seemed way too perfect to actually be true.

Things changed for me in this moment. I was ready to take the world for real this time. To make what I had always wanted to do.

 

*

“Amy, come on we have to get going.”

“Come on just one more song.”

“You’re so annoying.”

Justin rolled his eyes at me, as I stuck my tongue out at him. The past couple of days had been amazing and I really loved New York City. It was like a new home to me now. It was the night of my goodbye party and I really didn’t want to go home, but I had to go back, though only temporary. I had been in NYC for a week.

“One more song.”

He sat down beside me by the piano, and looked at me as I started playing.

“But this time you’re gonna sing to me.”

I stopped playing and looked at him, questioning him a bit, but he just smiled silly at me. I took this serious, because there were so many things I wanted to tell him before I left.

“What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive. I can’t keep up and I can’t back down, I’ve been losing so much time. Because it’s you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose, and it’s you and me and all of the people. And I don’t know why I can’t keep my eyes off of you. All of the things that I want to say just aren’t coming out right. I’m tripping on word. You got my head spinning.  I don’t know where to go from here. Because it’s you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose, and it’s you and me and all of the people. And I don’t know why I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”

I stopped playing and looked at him, and he saw how serious I suddenly was. I think it scared him a bit that I had changed everything in such a short amount of time.

“You know, before I got here I was the victim of bullies and I was judges by my appearance, my scars, my tattoo. I was ready to end my life again, but then you were there. You’re like Lyric. Always there for me when I need you, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back to what I came from. I’ve been here for a week, and you’ve completed my heart. Your name… it has the same effect on me as whenever I put on music.”

Justin pressed his lips against mine and pulled me closer to him. He didn’t want to hear another word, he just wanted me to stay that close to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and took my hands to his hair. I was pulled up on top of him, sitting in his lap and kept him close to me.

“Don’t leave. Stay here.”

He had broken the kiss and looked up at me. I had tears in my eyes and wanted for all in the world to stay there with him, but I had to go back to Chicago. I had to go back and let them work out what they wanted to do. I would need more studio sessions before they could just let me into the industry.

“I can’t. You know that.”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“Trust me, I wanna stay here more than anything, but I can’t. I have to go back.”

“Will you let me come with you?”

“I would, but people don’t know what I’m here for or who I’m around. We haven’t really been seen together and people aren’t asking enough questions for the people at my school to figure out, so I’ll have to announce some things there first.”

“Are you ashamed of me Amy Johnson?”

“I’m ashamed of myself, and I don’t like attention.”

“You shouldn’t be ashamed. You’re beautiful.”

“You’re the beautiful here, not me. You managed to put me into some clothes from the “class” you’re from and managed to do my hair and nails, but most of all you managed to heal my heart. That’s what I admire the most about you.”

I was dressed in a pair of Boohoo Hannah Mock suspender tights, a green Boston Tee By Project Social T, black K.T.Z. Lace up boots and some jewelries. It wasn’t exactly a party outfit, but I loved wearing it, and I felt free in it. My nails were painted a red color and they were most definitely fake. It wasn’t easy to tell, but I could feel it. My hair was lightly curled and it looked stunning hanging over my shoulder. My make-up on the other hand was really wild and eye catching.

“Amy Johnson, I admire you for being here and not giving up. And it is really time for you to go in the direction you want to go. You’re a beautiful talented girl, with the heart on the right place, and when you go back you have to prove that to the people who’ve hurt you.”

“I will.”

I smiled at him and pecked his lips before we both got up from the piano bench we were sitting on. We had to get going. The party was held at Daniel’s place. He seemed like a lovely human, but I hadn’t really had the time to speak much with him while I was here.

We walked the short way to his place and saw a few cars parked out in the front. All of the people I had met during my week here was there to say goodbye to me, and I was actually really surprised to see so many had showed up. We were greeted by Daniel as soon as we got inside. The party seemed more like a nice gathering as it was filled with adults and I honestly hadn’t ever been to a real party before. The ones I had seen were more like those high school movie parties, and this was definitely not like that.

There were snacks around and of course drinks, but this was more formal than that. I actually felt a little out of place around the people here, because they were dressed so much nicer than me, but I guess they could afford it where I couldn’t.

The party was nice and it was lovely to be around these people. No matter what I had felt in the past it wasn’t showing when I was here. These people took care of me and they treated me like I was one of their own. 

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