Change Me [Justin Bieber]


4. Chapter Four

The next couple of days went by in bed. I didn’t really spend time online, as I didn’t want to know what people were saying about me. I spend loads of time with my mother and tried talking to my father, but he was still convinced that I had had something going on with my so called uncle.

“Did you speak with your dad yet?”

I was out shopping with my mum at the local mall. She had finally gotten me out of bed after about a week there. She hated the person I had become over the past week and honestly I could imagine what she must have been going through, with me struggling and my dad leaving us to stay at a hotel for a couple of days.

It was a hot day, so I had chosen to wear something very simple. I wore a pair of old big baggy hot pants with a high waist and a black fit crop top with batman print all over it. My hair hung loose over my shoulders and my make-up was perfectly applied to my eyes with a smoky eyes look. My shoes were a pair of black sneaker wedges I had gotten a long time ago and they were well worn.

“He’s been staying at the hotel for the past couple of days. He hasn’t been home, and he doesn’t want to speak with me mum.”

“You sure about that?”

“I am! Otherwise he would have been home and believed what I said to him! Jeremy is a family friend and I do not wish that to end. He’s the best uncle I have, and I would never and I repeat never do anything sexual with him. It’s disgusting.”

I rolled my eyes and entered Forever 21 while pulling my bags longer up my arms.

“Amy we just want to make sure that nothing’s happened. Your dad is having people investigate this further.”

“Why? So you can humiliate a person you trust with everything you have? With the most important thing you say you’ve ever gotten? Did dad even want me? Because he sure doesn’t prove it very well by not trusting what both Jeremy and I say, or what Kristy says!”

“Amy sweetheart, please don’t pull a scene in here.”

I rolled my eyes and continued looking through the close. I found some shorts, a couple of tank tops and a very nice dress that I all took to the cashier.

“Beside what would I even get out of all this?”

I looked at my mother who was staring out of the window and into the mall we were in.


She didn’t respond she just kept staring out the window. I rolled my eyes and paid my stuff. Before I left the store with my mum and stepped in front of her and snapped her back into this world.

“Sorry sweetheart. What were you saying?”

“Never mind, let’s get going.”

I found the nearest Top Shop and entered the store with my mum right behind me. She took all of my bags as I started looking through everything again. She had her time of endless babbling right now, and I barely listened to her, because I was far too busy with the clothes in front of me.

I soon found all the things I wanted. Including a couple of summer dresses and a very cool leather jacket I had seen on the website a long time ago. I had always wanted this jacket; I just never got the chance to buy it, because I was scared of what people might have said if I started wearing something like this. I went up to the cashier as soon as I had found all the things I wanted and saw a young girl maybe a year younger than me standing there. She looked at me with a strange expression and I didn’t really know what was going on. I bit my lower lip nervously and looked at her waiting for her to start scanning my things. She actually got me really nervous and I didn’t really know how to react to it.

“You’re Amy Johnson! The girl from the video!”

My eyes widened and I looked up from the ground at her with a just as surprised expression written on my face as she had on hers.

“I knew you were from around this area, but never that I would actually get the chance to meet you. You have such an amazing voice! You’re really, really talented!”

“Why thank you.”

I smiled shyly at the ground. I didn’t know what to say at all, but if that was how she felt about me, how would other people be feeling then?

“You’re very welcome.”

She smiled at me and started doing my scanning in my stuff.

“You know you’re growing quite a fan base right?”


“Haven’t you seen it at all? People are so into it!”

“No I haven’t really been able to be online.”

“That’s why your blog has been so quiet.”

“They know about the blog as well?”

My mum appeared behind me, and I saw the girl at the cashier smile up at her.

“Everyone knows about your blog and everyone’s been asking about where you’ve been. You should really get back to it whenever you have the chance.”

She smiled, told me the price of all of my stuff and then gave me the receipt.

“Wait Amy, before you leave…”

She looked a bit embarrassed, mostly because I was kinda scared and it was very easy to tell.


“Could you sign this?”

She stood with a write notes block and a pen in her hands and I was really confused but at the same time happy and proud. Of course this is also where my mum bugged in, because she could see that I was having a hard time figuring out how to react with all of this.

“Of course she will.”

My mum smiled to me and pushed me forward to the girl, where I took the pen and signed her paper. She smiled back at me as soon as I had done it and was really happy for her autograph. Afterwards my mum asked me to step over beside her, and then she snapped at picture with my phone.

“Thank you very much Amy. Don’t listen to the haters. They aren’t worth it. You’re better than them.”

That was the last thing I heard before I left the store, and the mall with my mum running after me asking a billion questions. I didn’t answer any of them. Actually I didn’t even listen to what she said, I just sat there in my own world all the way back home. I walked in with my bags in my hands and literally ran up the stairs and where I found my laptop and soon went online to check everything that had been going on.

@RealAmyJohnson: Heard a lot of things have been going on in here lately… maybe I should explain.

@RealAmyJohnson: I see I’ve gained a lot of followers! WOW! Thank you very much!!

@RalAmyJohnson: Check my blog in a minute. I’ll post the link. It’ll explain it all.

Before I started writing the blog I went on and on. I was at 20K followers on twitter, which was actually quite a lot for a person like me. Last week I only had about 400 maybe 500.

I couldn’t believe this was going so fast, and all of the sweets messages that people had filled my mentions with were really from the heart. I loved reading their endless tweets, it kinda made me believe in what I was doing.

I went unto my blog and started typing. It was like my fingers were moving faster than even possible over the keyboard and the words came out exactly as I wanted them to. At first I didn’t really think any of it sounded like me, but I guess I had to sound a bit like this, just to be the person I was.

“I’m back.

Okay so maybe this took another turn that I expected it to, but yet something I had somehow hoped. I met a girl at the mall today and she told me some things I had never in my life expected to hear from other people than my best friends and my parents.

I can’t even describe how thankful I am for all of the messages I have received! Especially on twitter, and all of those followers. You guys are just truly amazing.

Though I have been gone for almost a week and I think I need to explain to people soon. I haven’t been in school, I haven’t been online. I’ve just been home watching movies, and then today for the first time I stepped out from the house and went with my mother to the mall.

What’s been going on is that some losers at my school started this really pathetic rumor about my uncle and I, and my parents started believing it, so we have had some people out here to help us with everything and just get along again. Also my dad has been living at a hotel for a couple of days, as we thought it would be for the best, but honestly it’s just been worse ever since he left. I haven’t spoken to him and he is still very angry with me about everything. I guess he just can’t notice that this is how those people at my now old school are.

I’ve chosen to drop out of high school, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop being taught. I’ll still have classes, but I’m getting homeschooled from now on. My mum and I are already working on it, and it should be confirmed very soon. We think that this is better with everything that has been going on lately. Though I might still be able to attend my art classes at my high school, as I need to get out of the house more often…

I’ll be back in my art class next week where it’ll all start up officially…

For my music, I don’t know what’s gonna be going on with that… I love my music, and I’ve always done, there was just the thing that some people got me scared of it. Scared of using and showing my talent. I didn’t want to show it out to the world, because of the bullies, but I see with all of this support that I can manage it. I can do this, and I might as well do it, because it’s making you guys happy.

I’ll see you in here, and maybe on YouTube as well.

BTW if I should do another cover, and it was YOU who got to choose my song, which song would it be?

~ Amy Johnson xxx”

I reread my blog before I posted it and went on to see more of the comments on my video. I loved reading this I all of them made me smile and cry. I couldn’t believe that I could be loved so much. It was all just too good to be true.

I was sitting legged in my chair with my laptop in front of me, just endlessly replying to messages and promoting my blog and videos, when someone knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

I was still sitting in my own universe as my mum entered the room.

“What’s up?”

I looked into the screen while speaking and kept the endless typing in front of me. My focus was at my laptop but with one ear I was listening to what my mum told me.

“Are you listening Amy?”

“Huh? Yeah… just replying to the fans.”

I turned around in the chair and lay my hands on my thighs while staring at my mum.

“As I told you, Dr. Benson is here for you appointment, and she would love for me to be in the session today.”

“Sure, are we in the living room?”

“Yeah. So please come with me downstairs.”

“Just give me one more minute.”

I turned back to my laptop and started typing.

@RealAmyJohnson: Sorry guys. No more chatting right now. Have an appointment with my doctor.

I closed the mac and then followed my mum downstairs where my doctor was waiting for us in the living room.

My session with my doctor wasn’t really something I enjoyed, but it was the easiest way to speak about everything, and my mum and dad had pointed out that I needed this after I had been staying home for a week and a half. Honestly I had the doctor before that, but they agreed that I needed more sessions with her after this.

“So Amy how are you feeling today?”

“Actually I’m having a great day Dr. Benson. This is one of those days where I feel like I’ve gotten everything I can possibly get, but it’s not in a bad way. I mean after what that girl at the mall pointed out I’ve actually felt loved. I mean it’s weird and stuff, but its good weird. That’s why I’m late. I was replying to all the good things that have happened with that video.”

“I’m glad to hear Amy dear.”

She smiled her nice warm smile to me, and I knew that from now on life was gonna be a lot easier for me to cope with. It was going to be easier to be me, to breathe and maybe all of the bad things would slowly fade away from me, and leave me alone? 

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